Fugger: Kim Kardashian

Fuggish: Kim Kardashian in Dior


Lost in the Met Gala coverage of last week was this Very Special Episode of Kim Kardashian Wears Very Tight Shirts With Weirdly Proportioned Skirts.

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Then again, if you’re not only paying for her book of selfies but voluntarily waiting in line to have it signed, this has to be exactly what you’re hoping she’ll wear. It is Uberdashian.

So is this:

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Met Gala Naked WTFs: Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, and Jennifer Lopez


To quote myself on Twitter: If this affair was about “perceptions” of China in the western world, then what I’m getting is that everyone perceives China as super naked. Beyonce is in Givenchy, Kim Kardashian picked Roberto Cavalli, and Jennifer Lopez is in Versace — and EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM decided that “China: Through The Looking Glass” really meant “China: Whatever, Just Look At My Ass.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugye: Kim Kardashian


I guess Kim Kard here was honored at the Variety Power of Women event for her work with Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles, something I had no idea she was affiliated with and have never heard mentioned in the same breath as her name — but I hope that’s just because I wasn’t paying attention, as I would be thrilled if Children’s benefited from Kim’s enormous, confounding, enormous, and enormous fame.

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Let’s pretend, then, that she chose this thematically — as, say, a fashion representation of Sexy Lab Coat.

The thing is, that overcoat could have been cool. But as usual, the unavoidable undercurrent of Kardashian means it’s not really allowed to be. We get a sheer meridian bisecting her chest and peeks of nude brassiere, all designed to make sure you’re staring there first. As if she constantly defines herself by that asset. I just wish she’d show more belief that there are other parts of her worth looking at, you know? Remember how great she is in red lipstick? Throw a deep crimson shade on her here and reconsider the hair, and even THAT would be a step forward. What I wouldn’t give for a real, actual Hollywood stylist to take her on for one month and see what kind of difference it might make.

Oh, and lest you wonder how she accessorized:

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Fug or Fab: Kim Kardashian in Sophie Theallet at the Time 100 Gala


We pretty much have to begin with this photo, because it is, to me, a treasure.

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Their facial expressions make me laugh so hard. NEITHER woman looks like she is succeeding at approximating a smile, Kim for possible cosmetic reasons, and Martha because the handcuff bracelets she’s wearing symbolize the way she’s unwillingly yoked to this photo opportunity. It seriously looks like instead of saying “cheese,” Kim Kardashian says, “Heeeyyyyyyyy!” And Martha is saying, “Martini. MARTINI.”

Let’s check out Kim’s gown:

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What the Fug (As Usual): Kim Kardashian, with an assist from Khloe


If this is how her shirt situation is going at the dawn of spring…

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… then I’m developing some anxieties about what summer will bring.

Also, if you’ve ever wondered what a Kardashian would wear to the viewing of a memorial to victims of genocide against Armenians:

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Fug or Fine: Kim Kardashian


The sad thing is, this might not have been ALL bad if it had fit…

kim kardashian

… and if she had put ANY EFFORT INTO IT AT ALL beyond putting some serum in her hair and contouring the bejeezus out of her face. You cannot be your own best accessory when you walk around with the ocular glaze of a zombie. At LEAST add a bracelet.

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[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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