Fugger: Kim Kardashian

WTF: Kim Kardashian


Presented without comment:

Kim Kardashian dons pink PVC dress for Fleur Fatale fragrance launch **USA, Canada ONLY**

Okay, with one comment, but it’s courtesy of Ross Geller:

DON’T take this off until you’re ready to keep it off, Kim. And whatever you do, DO NOT MAKE A PASTE.

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Fab and Fug the Cover: Kim Kardashian on Paper Magazine


“What’s that silly lady doing?” asked one of the beans.

Kim Kardashian: Paper Magazine, November 2014

 

What does one say to that? Oh, just drizzling Champagne into her ass glass? Or, Using her personal tray table? Pouring a tall glass of mommy juice?

I settled on, “Nothing important.”

Having said that — and I stand by it — this is actually a perfectly kicky and arresting visual for someone who surely would love it if we all believed her life involved raining Moet & Chandon all over sparkly couture. It’s chipper and it’s gleeful and it’s flaunting everything about her that she might want to flaunt — including her absurd level of fame and the Internet that helped hand it to her.But this is also one of the most photographed women in the world. We know what her body looks like. It is going to take some extreme proof to make me believe she hasn’t been given the Barbie treatment by an airbrusher, which I fear will make our younglings want to have throw-pillows surgically implanted in their nethers (which is about as real as her rear-end looks in this finished product). Kim Kardashian is not someone who can afford to be perceived as any more cartoonish than she already is, and yet here we are. So the thing is, I like the whimsy, and it’s by far the nicest of her three photos. But there’s also an “I’m famous! SUCK ON THAT, Y’ALL” aura to it that doesn’t look particularly good on her.

Speaking of Barbie, and not looking particularly good on her, the next cover is decidedly not safe for work, unless you work at a place that is pro-crack. Of the rump variety, although I guess if your office is pro-crack in terms of the drug, then a naked derriere isn’t going to faze anyone. Otherwise, tread carefully.

did i mention the nsfw thing? because it’s nsfw

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Fug or Fab the Gift: Kim’s Hermes Bag


I want to be clear: I am not fugging North West’s artwork. That kid isn’t even two years old. She’s not SUPPOSED to be doing anything other than swirling things around and making handprints with help from an adult. She didn’t make this with an eye toward it being photographed, because SHE’S BARELY A TODDLER. We are not making fun of her output. It’s totally a little girl having fun with this crazy-ass canvas someone handed her.

Kim Kardashian

But let’s think about it as a gift. This is clearly Kanye trying to out-Angelina Angelina, by sticking North’s early artwork onto a couture bag rather than a custom wedding gown (I’m sure he’s super angry they didn’t think of making Kim’s a mosaic of North’s face, claiming North approved the sketch and personally glued every construction-paper tile). It is also, I think, a thousand times more soothing to receive than the infamous Bag, which, frankly, might have been every bit as horrifying to find in a box as a severed head.

Let’s check it out more closely, just to examine it:

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Fugfinity: Kim Kardashian


The Hairfinity Launch Party

KIM: Hey Khloe. You look pretty…

KHLOE: Thanks.

KIM: I was going to say “pretty good,” but sure.

KHLOE: Well, I’m super depressed about Lamar still and of course Rob, so I’ve been–

KIM: Who’s Rob?

KHLOE: Our brother.

KIM: We have a brother?

KHLOE: Last time I checked.

KIM: That’s crazy. The world is changing so fast.

KHLOE: Except for your wardrobe. It’s exactly the same.

KIM: No, this is totally new, dude.

KHLOE: Maybe, but it’s also NOT, you know? Bra top, high-waisted tight skirt, big coat. Same-old, same-old.

KIM: Oh yeah? Well then what if I do THIS:

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Fugs and Fabs: The LACMA Art and Film Gala, Part III


In case you missed them, part one of this event lives here, part two lives here, and this is the final segment, in which we visit with THE CRAZY and the colorful. J Lo! Amy Adams! A Casiraghi! A caftan! Kanye! AT LAST!

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Happy Fugday, Kim Kardashian


I’ve told this story on GFY before, but: Every time I see Kim at Tao in Las Vegas, I think back to the time in 2007 — a shocking seven years ago now — when my dad and I were staying in the Venetian, and we wandered past Tao just as Kim was being photographed at a step-and-repeat outside. He asked me who it was, and I explained that she was some rando fool who was best-known for hanging out with Paris Hilton. Dad glanced at her, his brows arched in deepest skepticism, and then said with extreme Britishness, “I am not impressed.”

So, in honor of Kim’s birthday appearance at Tao this weekend, I decided to look for that old photo. And juxtapose it with the current one. Some things change (her face), some things remain the same (her taste).

[Photos: Splash, Fame/Flynet]

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