Fugger: Gwyneth Paltrow

What the Fug: Gwyneth Paltrow


This is actually more funny to me than anything. Jess’s reaction was, “Bless her heart,” and mine was to think that my grandmother would have called this “snazzy.”

Gwyneth Paltrow

I just sincerely feel like she dropped her keys in a bowl and is ready to swing, baby, swing. That, or she’s about to put on a turban and perform Nobody Takes Me To The Cleaners And To Bed In The Same Day: Selected Monologues and Pithy One-Liners of Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan. Confession: I would buy a ticket to that.

[Photo: Getty]

 

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WTF: Gwyneth Paltrow in Emilia Wickstead


She’s just effing with us now, right?

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I refuse to accept any other explanation. Surely she saw everyone flip their wigs over this monstrosity and thought, “you didn’t like that? GAME ON, PEASANTS.”

The Hollywood Reporter And Jimmy Choo's Power Stylists Dinner

I’m…that’s…you’re…okay. Fine. It’s true. You broke me. I’m out. I’m need to go lie down. Advantage, Paltrow. AS USUAL.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: Celebs at the Chanel Show


This one is quite a spectrum.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Fug or Fab: Gwyneth Paltrow in Stella McCartney


If you hate this unreservedly, and wonder why I am putting it up to any kind of vote, be forewarned that an onslaught of Stella stuff is coming that is WAY WORSE.

gwyneth paltrow

At fist I thought that was a lacy clutch, until I realized there is one on the other side. And they’re attached to her hips. That is weird, don’t get me wrong. And matching the booties to it is both smart and a little goofy. But I also think Gwyneth KNOWS all this, and she’s just supporting her friend in the most livable way possible. That look on her face says, to me, “Grade this on a curve. TRUST ME.”

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Gwyneth Paltrow


This is, ostensibly, ridiculous, and yet somehow it sort of amuses me:

LACMA Art + Film Gala 2015

It’s both so ruffly and shimmery. Like if The Little Mermaid were given a live-action update set in 1926, and Ariel traded her voice to be a flapper, instead of for Prince Eric. And just look at her stuff! Isn’t it neat?

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[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Comfortingly Fugly: Gwyneth Paltrow


These capri calamities are not good.

gwyneth paltrow

They’re bad. So bad. We’re talking Natalie Dormer Is Not Impressed bad.

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But I have a warm place for them in my heart, because it’s such a RELIEF to know that even Gwyneth Paltrow is not immune to the cruelties of Laundry Day.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Better Played, Gwyneth Paltrow


I’ve been tepid at best on GOOP’s latest garb, but I’m going to give this a tentative B-plus.

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The floaty vintage nightie silhouette is very nice on her. (Weirdly, I could actually see this on Kate Middleton. Maybe Gwyneth has a private Pinterest board dedicated to the Duchess.) She’s keeping it simple but still romantic, it’s not depressing me, I’m not squawking about pizza or any other substitute words for The Sheers… honestly, as quiet and quaint as this look may be, I also call it a success for her.

In part because of the bonus round:

gwyneth paltrow amfar los angeles

I genuinely think that’s the best and healthiest her hair has looked in eons. Maybe she should start a side newsletter called Hair GOOP where she shares her deep conditioning secrets. Or maybe she just FINALLY found where Apple hid her hairbrush.

[Photos: Getty]

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