Fugger: Gwyneth Paltrow

Fug the Rut: Gwyneth Paltrow


It’s not even necessarily that there’s anything wrong with this; it just feels very much like a downloadable GOOP template.

gwyneth paltrow I'll see you in my dreams

Take blond hair; leave it straight and do little else to it. Add simple white dress that’s preppy enough to play tennis in – and poorly fitted in a way that catches you by surprise even though it happens more often than you think – and finish with semi-strappy black shoes. Lather, rinse, repeat. It’s starting to feel like she’s on autopilot. And yeah, that’s fine, if that’s what she wants, but when you are a brand, it’s never a great sign if you start to seem BORED of said brand. It is possible to freshen up the act without radically rewriting it, and maybe that’s what I’m hoping for here a little. If you could get your tenterhooks into Gwynnie right now, would you tell her to stick to the plan, or would you revolutionize the GOOP? Me, I’d start with a bob and a lot more color, unless she ACTUALLY wants to play tennis, in which case I will grab my racket and go full McEnroe.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Gwyneth Paltrow


I feel like she’s really into this silhouette right now, for some inexplicable reason:

 

The Inaugural Hong Kong amfAR Charity Party

I hope she covers this burning question in this week’s upcoming GOOP. Perhaps an appealing slice of side-torso has secret health benefits, like, it actually airs your spleen in a literal rather than metaphorical way. I don’t know. But I DO know that her dress has what appears to be giant boils on it, and I’m not entirely sure that I can endorse something that forced me to look up the correct spelling of “buboes.”

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fug or Fab: Gwyneth Paltrow


The headline for this event told me that “Jerry Seinfeld Hosts First Ever….” something something Baby Buggy something. (Baby Buggy is the charity he and his wife Jessica run, and it’s by all accounts a very nice one.) But I misread said headline as, “Jerry Seinfeld HOLDS HOSTAGES.” Do not ask me why, although I think we all know that Jerry could snap at any moment. THAT SAID:

Jerry Seinfeld Hosts Inaugural Los Angeles Fatherhood Lunch To Benefit Baby Buggy

Something about Gwynnie DOES look like she just escaped a hostage situation. She feels vaguely rumpled, and like she accidentally left some cute little jacket behind when she finally made her brave escape by whacking Jerry on the back of the head with a chocolate babka and making a run for it.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug the Cover: Gwyneth Paltrow on Marie Claire UK, April 2015


The barrage of hard-to-read cover text bothers me a lot here.

Gwyneth Paltrow on Marie Claire UK April 2015

But not as much as the fact that the photographer seems to have caught Gwynnie mid-squat.

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Oscars Fug or Fab Carpet: Gwyneth Paltrow in Ralph & Russo


I agreed with our friends over at Red Carpet Fashion Awards that Gwyneth should have worn the runway version. Dude, you PULLED OFF A CAPE. You can take on two sleeves.

[Photos: INF, Fame/Flynet]

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Grammys Fugs and Fabs: The Lightbox Purge


Listen, Grammys, we’re thrilled to have had you, but it’s time for you to go. The BAFTAs were this weekend, and then Fashion Week starts on Thursday. Move along. See you next year. Yes, yes, you can have that leftover pizza. You’re welcome to it. No, seriously, it’s fine. TAKE IT. JUST TAKE IT AND GO.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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