Fugger: Gwyneth Paltrow

Fug or Fab: Gwyneth Paltrow

I feel like she’s really into this silhouette right now, for some inexplicable reason:


The Inaugural Hong Kong amfAR Charity Party

I hope she covers this burning question in this week’s upcoming GOOP. Perhaps an appealing slice of side-torso has secret health benefits, like, it actually airs your spleen in a literal rather than metaphorical way. I don’t know. But I DO know that her dress has what appears to be giant boils on it, and I’m not entirely sure that I can endorse something that forced me to look up the correct spelling of “buboes.”

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Fug or Fab: Gwyneth Paltrow

The headline for this event told me that “Jerry Seinfeld Hosts First Ever….” something something Baby Buggy something. (Baby Buggy is the charity he and his wife Jessica run, and it’s by all accounts a very nice one.) But I misread said headline as, “Jerry Seinfeld HOLDS HOSTAGES.” Do not ask me why, although I think we all know that Jerry could snap at any moment. THAT SAID:

Jerry Seinfeld Hosts Inaugural Los Angeles Fatherhood Lunch To Benefit Baby Buggy

Something about Gwynnie DOES look like she just escaped a hostage situation. She feels vaguely rumpled, and like she accidentally left some cute little jacket behind when she finally made her brave escape by whacking Jerry on the back of the head with a chocolate babka and making a run for it.

[Photo: Getty]


Fug the Cover: Gwyneth Paltrow on Marie Claire UK, April 2015

The barrage of hard-to-read cover text bothers me a lot here.

Gwyneth Paltrow on Marie Claire UK April 2015

But not as much as the fact that the photographer seems to have caught Gwynnie mid-squat.


Oscars Fug or Fab Carpet: Gwyneth Paltrow in Ralph & Russo

I agreed with our friends over at Red Carpet Fashion Awards that Gwyneth should have worn the runway version. Dude, you PULLED OFF A CAPE. You can take on two sleeves.

[Photos: INF, Fame/Flynet]


Grammys Fugs and Fabs: The Lightbox Purge

Listen, Grammys, we’re thrilled to have had you, but it’s time for you to go. The BAFTAs were this weekend, and then Fashion Week starts on Thursday. Move along. See you next year. Yes, yes, you can have that leftover pizza. You’re welcome to it. No, seriously, it’s fine. TAKE IT. JUST TAKE IT AND GO.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]


Fug or Fab: Gwyneth Paltrow in Lanvin

As if Our Lady of GOOP would waste her side-ass on something as laaaaaame as Mortdecai.  This is a side-boob only joint. (I admit to being curious to hear what she’s privately calling this one, since she’s on record as referring to View From The Top as “View From My Ass.” I kind of want to get caught in an elevator with Gwynnie. You’d have to be there for a LONG TIME before she’d break, I think, but once she broke, you’d get DISH. And probably some weird recipe for an organic face wash.)

[Photos: Getty]