[Photos: INF, Fame/Flynet]
Fugger: Gwyneth Paltrow
Listen, Grammys, we’re thrilled to have had you, but it’s time for you to go. The BAFTAs were this weekend, and then Fashion Week starts on Thursday. Move along. See you next year. Yes, yes, you can have that leftover pizza. You’re welcome to it. No, seriously, it’s fine. TAKE IT. JUST TAKE IT AND GO.
[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]
As if Our Lady of GOOP would waste her side-ass on something as laaaaaame as Mortdecai. This is a side-boob only joint. (I admit to being curious to hear what she’s privately calling this one, since she’s on record as referring to View From The Top as “View From My Ass.” I kind of want to get caught in an elevator with Gwynnie. You’d have to be there for a LONG TIME before she’d break, I think, but once she broke, you’d get DISH. And probably some weird recipe for an organic face wash.)
I’m not kidding when I say this is one of my favorite things that has happened thus far in 2015:
I legit cackled out loud with glee when this photo loaded. I’d say that I would like to subscribe to this person’s newsletter, but then I realized: I ALREADY DO.
I’m not sure whether or not anyone knew Gwyneth Paltrow would be attending the Golden Globes — she skipped the carpet — and from the looks of things it’s possible SHE didn’t even remember until about twenty minutes beforehand:
Otherwise, I don’t get it. This is a woman who peddles a persona and a lifestyle. She’s so exacting with diet and exercise that RIGHT after she consciously uncoupled with Chris Martin, he and the kids consciously recoupled with fast food. A lady doesn’t work that hard on her body to throw on a size-too-small Pepto Abysmol concoction that sullies the results of her efforts. Goop is many things, but half-assed is not usually one of them. She goes for it on fourth down. But this? This is a punt, and the universe just blocked it and ran it back for a touchdown.
Gwyneth co-hosted this event, so I expected her to be in something short, or snug — basically, anything that Tom Ford could put on her that would also go Major Movie Star. And instead, she went closer to Major Movie Studio Exec.
[Photos: Splash, Getty]