Fugger: Diane Kruger

Inglourious Fugsterds: Diane Kruger


Oh, man. In the past, she and Jason Wu have combined for sartorial greatness. This…is not one of those times:

2015 Fashion Group International Night Of Stars Gala

Is it TERRIBLE? Does it make me want to cry? Do I feel like tearing out my hair and tying it around my eyes so I don’t need to see this anymore? Does it make me DESPAIR for HUMANITY? Do I want to steal someone’s Vespa and speed it angrily through Barney’s, yelling insults at ugly clothes as they flash past me? Nah. But do I think, “oh, Diane. You’ve done better. Your torso looks like an armoire”? Yes. Yes, it does. And Wu was being honored at this event, so I’m sort of bummed we didn’t get something more…transporting.

[Photo: Getty]

react:

Fugs and Fabs: Balmain x H&M Launch


Some of this is straight-up Balmain (if not all), as opposed to the diffusion line. Which is a bad advertisement on TWO counts, then.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Fine or Fab: Diane Kruger in Michael Kors


I would like this so much better with just the simple black belt.

diane kruger god's love we deliver

The color is beautiful, the black pattern on it is funky, and the halter neck and leather cinching really works… for the most part. The criss-crossing is cutting her torso too high, I think, chopping her at an unflattering place. If you scooted that down or eliminated it and just had one narrow tie, her silhouette would be cleaner. Not that you can tell from my office that I like things clean. One of the beans walked in the other day and said, “Mom. You drank like a hundred Diet Cokes.” IT WAS ONLY FOUR. And not in one day. He’s judgmental. (He also announced he’s going to be a dad someday to girl twins named Pineapple and Strawberry, so I have bigger problems.)

Anyway: Let’s also try and discuss the hair. Kruger obviously made a lovely blonde. Is she Amy Poehler Red now, or is that just the lighting? It might really work on her. Also, does this mean Pacey loves a redhead? ASKING FOR A FRIEND.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

react:

Fugs and Fines: The Affair at PaleyFest


Adding Maura Tierney’s perspective to The Affair makes it better — more of Maura Tierney makes just about anything better — but my problem is that I don’t think I care about any of them being happy except for her, and it’s so GLUM and self-infatuated that I need three episodes of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend to cheer up and so far they’ve only aired one. Problems.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Fug or Fab: Diane Kruger in Preen


This might technically be an UnFug for me, and the parts I want to UnFug are paining me:

Celebrities Attend Fashion 4 Development's 5th

Namely, that I don’t know if I think that Mark Cross bag she’s carrying really works with this — she looks like she’s toting around a shoe box in case she wants to swap footwear, which, PS: SHE SHOULD. And this causes me grief, because I truly think the most glamorous thing that ever happened in the entire world was when Grace Kelly flipped open her Mark Cross overnight case in Rear Window (a movie which I, as a person who cannot stop spying on her neighbors, truly relate to, although none of mine have tried to throw me out a window yet; bonus points for the fact that GK looks fabulous on an otherworldly level throughout). ALL Mark Cross bags should make you feel as if you are the most glamorous person in the world and I just feel like this one has been married with the wrong gown. (And perhaps needs MY monogram and to come live with me for a while?)

Dress-wise: I kind of want it to be shorter. IS THAT INSANE Y/N?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

react:

Fugs and Fabs: The Global Citizen Festival


First of all, Global Citizen is a charity that aims to end extreme poverty, so this was a very good cause for all of these celebs to come out and support (although I don’t know how much money the event raised, if any — and that’s not shade, I just don’t know if that was the purpose of this particular concert, which was, regardless, hugely supported by politicians and musicians alike. The program is going to air on TV later this year, and that may provide a fund-raising aspect?). Personally, I am always fascinated by how the celebrity guests at these sorts of things choose to dress themselves, because I think it must be VERY hard to parse for them and their stylists. It’s for charity, so don’t show up wearing something too attention-grabbing. But there’s a red carpet, so you can’t just shuffle up in your grubbies, or you’ll look like you don’t care. But it’s also outside in a park, so you don’t want to look too fancy or you might look crazy. But also Michelle Obama is going to make an appearance. I feel like anyone would have a fair amount of back-and-forth, and, indeed, you will see that in the red carpet…if you care to join me.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Unfug or Fab: Diane Kruger in Simone Rocha


This looks fine, in your typical Diane Kruger Has The Mojo kind of way, although I would ditch the matching tea towel sewn to her hip.

'Maryland' Paris Premiere At MK2 Bibliotheque

But generally the only advantage to a wearable blanket is: erotic picnics. Pacey had better play his cards right.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

react: