Fugger: Carrie Underwood

ACMs Feh Carpet: Carrie Underwood


Is it just me, or does Carrie Underwood not seem all that jazzed about this?

Sure, she’s smiling, but it’s the stretched, tight grin of a woman who’s been told by a kinky saboteur not to complain or else her shoe closet will be set on fire. So she’s stuck out there in a murky bridal toga looking like her skirt lining got caught in her Spanx.

Fortunately for Carrie, she did come up with one way to keep herself legitimately entertained:

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Grammy Awards Fug and Fab: The Country Blondes


I am not grouping these three together to be dismissive; rather, I’m doing it because they are, in fact, all blonde, all past, present, and possibly future country singers, and all wore either light or dark — or both — sparkly gowns, to the point where my eyesight blurred them together into one Master Blonde. The trifecta of Fashion Week, the BAFTAs, and the Grammys will do that to a brain. Mine looks like pasta right now.

[Photos: Getty]

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ACAs Fug or Fab: Carrie Underwood


This one is saved by the shoes.

With a plain pair of peep-toes, it’s what the lead ballerina would wear in Swift Lake at Lincoln Center, which reviewers say has innate charm but gets repetitive after the Intermission. However, with THESE shoes — as much as they look a bit like S&M sweatbands — it at least has some unexpected edge. I think that might be a good thing, although I’m not sure the “I Just Unhooked My Ankles From The Bedpost” look is something we should all try at home. On several levels.

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[Photo: Getty]

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You the Jury: Carrie Underwood at the CMAs


It’s probably supposed to be country music’s biggest night, but really, it’s Carrie Underwood’s stylist’s biggest night. Apparently Carrie Underwood had ten costume changes, but our photo sources only gave us access to these, so we must forge ahead and try not to feel the ache in our soul that we didn’t have a photo of the neck ruffle that looks like she wronged an accordion. Band together and examine the evidence before determining whether she is guilty or innocent of fug in the first degree. Or second. Or even third, if you want. So many degrees.

Jury, render your verdict:

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[Photos: Getty]

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Carrie Fugderwood


At first, I thought Carrie — performing at the country music version of Coachella — was just wearing a very summery dress.

How wrong I was. My whole history with this site involves a lot of “at first” statements that devolve into something aorta-ripping, and of course, this is that same story told for the 10,000th time.

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ACM Fug or Fab Carpet/Performance Hmmmm: Carrie Underwood


Of the approximately thirty country music awards shows, the ones that don’t let Carrie Underwood host are the most boring, because I enjoy her ten costume changes. Even Carrie seems like she had a little trouble drumming up enthusiasm, because seriously, WHAT is happening with her mouth? It’s like someone told her to tense it up, or something, as some sort of photo trick… whatever the intention, in the end, she just looks like a tremendously insincere rabbit (which I’m guessing is NOT the ideal, since the only bunny we care about this time of year is the cheerful one who hides chocolate in our house for us to find two months later).

Then again, knowing what was coming for Carrie later in the night, maybe this is just the face of trepidation. Why? You’ll see.

Is she pretty in purple?

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