Fugger: Ashanti

Fugs and Maybe One Fab Somewhere: Various Super Bowl Events


I feel like everyone is so relieved that New York/New Jersey wasn’t godawful frigid (supposedly?) that the abs came out like it was Miami up in there.

[Photos: Getty]

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Grammy Awards Fug Carpet: Ashanti


At some point when we were watching the Grammys red carpet, Heather said, “Some horror show just walked behind Giuliana.” Friends, MEET THAT HORROR SHOW:

I’m sure you know what I’m going to say, though, and I want you to say it with: At least it’s not a vagina sling.

I mean. Low bar. But still.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fugs and Slightly Less-Fug: Soul Train Awards


I’m getting concerned about the eyeballs Ashanti is using. They can’t be hers, right, or they’d have her best interests at heart. Did she have a transplant that we don’t know about? Did she get the eyeballs of a serial killer, or a defective Cher clone, and those eyes are now sabotaging her — like when people get a serial killer’s hand and it turns them evil (I saw that in a movie once so it must be true)?

[Photos: Getty]

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VMAs Fug Carpet: Ashanti


Dear Ashanti,

I kind of wish you’d gone with the vagina sling instead. Is that so wrong?

Love,

Jessica

[Photo: Getty]

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Fugs, Fehs, and Fines: Grown-Ups 2


I mean, first of all, I can’t with this movie. A VARIETY of people are too good for this movie: Salma Hayek, Maya Rudolph, Chris Rock, Steve Buscemi, even Kevin James! (I have an inexplicable fondness for Kevin James for which I refuse to apologize.) Aly Michalka has a role as “Bikini Girl Savannah,” which… she had a LEADING ROLE on a CW show! I can only hope that’s a cameo, as the movie appears to contain many of them, because even she is too good for that. Someone will have to let me know, because the only way I will see Grown-Ups 2 is if I’m kidnapped and my captors tape my eyes open and stick me in a room where the walls are made of televisions, and all those televisions are playing Grown-Ups 2.

[Photos: Getty]

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BET Awards Fugs, Fabs and Fines: (Almost) Everyone Wearing White


It was mad crazy hot this weekend, so I totally understand why all these people woke up and said, “hmmmm. What do I have that will prevent me from feeling like I might burst into flames?”

[Photos: Getty]

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