Fug File: Fug The Cover

Fug the “Cover”: Miley Cyrus on Seventeen


There has to be a secret story about this cover. Right?

Because that’s not a cover — it’s a “cover,” by which I mean, that’s just a photograph of Miley from a red-carpet event in February. Specifically, this one. And while her face and hair DO look perfectly nice here, it seems INCREDIBLY strange for Seventeen – supposedly one of the premier teen mags, and without even that much competition to worry about — to be slapping a Getty Images photo on its cover. Was it, in keeping with the “Freebie” theme, a money-savings? Is Seventeen too broke for a photo shoot? Is it lazy because it has no competition outside of Teen Vogue? Do we think Miley was scheduled to do one and then had to bail, for some mysterious reason? (This is the one I’m hoping for, because I like gossip.) Or is this happening all the time with Seventeen and I just didn’t notice because I am *cough, cough* a tiny wee bit out of its demographic? I mean, I could’ve dummied up this cover in ten minutes with Photoshop. This can’t bode well. Come on, Seventeen, pull it together. If the world can’t have Sassy or YM anymore, it needs you.

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Fugs and Fabs: Various Recent International Elle Covers


Because often these are more interesting than the U.S. ones.

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Fug and Fab The Covers: Marie Claire May 2014 “Fresh Faces” Issue


So, Marie Claire put Lupita Nyong’o, Elizabeth Olsen, Elle Fanning, Kate Mara, and Emilia Clarke on the cover this month; most of them get the royal treatment, but the last of those ladies should probably sue because her cover is AWFUL.

[Photos: Marie Claire]

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Fab and Fug: Mindy Kaling and Kate Upton Inside Vogue, April 2014


I made the argument that I thought Mindy Kaling would be a more in-touch cover choice for Vogue than Kim and Kanye, and the photo of her inside the issue affirms that for me. Kate Upton… not so much.

[Photos: Vogue]

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Fug or Fab The Inside Photos: Kimye Inside Vogue


“I KNOW Y’ALL PROBABLY MUMBLED THAT YOU THOUGHT WE’D BUNGLE THIS PHOTOGRAPHIC JUMBLE, BUT IF YOU THINK SO THEN LET’S RUMBLE, ‘CAUSE I THINK IT’S A GLORY BUNDLE, AND I’M NOT JUST BEING HUMBLE. WELCOME TO THE FUNGLE.”

[PHOTOS: VOGUE]

[Our coverage of the cover is here]

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Fug or Fab the Cover: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian on Vogue, April 2014


My feelings about this are varied and complicated (and LONG, so I apologize), so let’s break them down together. (Or you can skip to GFY Kanye’s take at the bottom.)

[Photo: Annie Leibovitz/Vogue]

1) The look:

The dress fits her nicely. Credit to Kim for putting some zip into her eyes, too, but right half of her face is in semi-sinister shadow, which I LOVE imagining is because Anna Wintour secretly authorized a dash of Evil Shading. The lips and stripe of makeup on her left cheek just look half-assed, though. I’m sure the idea was to focus on the diamond engagement ring and nothing else, for some kind of forced regality, but overall, the lack of any other styling feels boring to me — surely an aesthetic choice to keep things extremely simple, but the result is that it looks like Brides, and not Vogue.

2) The Pose:

If the story is about both of them, it’s bizarre to me that Kanye is relegated to a footnote who’s just sniffing mopily at her neck; I agree with the praise for an interracial couple being on the cover, but if that is truly the achievement, then I don’t know why they couldn’t stand there more proudly as equals. Instead, he is stiffly cuddling the air in front of her uterus while her hands equally stiffly seem to be keeping his at bay. Why put him there at all? This feels like a compromise, as if Anna would only do it if Kanye were present, and Kanye is actively trying to force Kim front and center anyway so that he can call it a win. SPOILER: GFY Kanye agrees with that.

click for anna’s words, GFY Kanye, and the real gist

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