Fug File: Fug The Cover

Well Played Cover: Bella Hadid on Glamour, September 2016


I will be the first to admit that I never had much time for Bella Hadid. But I have to give her full marks for what I think is a really lovely cover.

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I almost want to call it more fashion-y than I would expect from Glamour. There’s no fromage here, no false cheer or sheers, and a minimum of text; it’s just Bella in a giant anorak with hair that looks faintly like she was caught in the rain, and it’s REALLY effective. My gaze goes straight to her eyes and stays there. It’s sort of… soulful and defiant all at once. This actually makes me even sadder about that time she wore undergarments to the grocery store (and apparently also to a restaurant), because if this is any indication, she CAN model and isn’t just coasting on Gigi’s coattails. She doesn’t HAVE to resort to wearing tragic Yeezy spanxwear for attention; she can capture that all on her own.

[Photo: Glamour]

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Fug or Fab the Cover: Kristen Stewart on T


In case you were wondering if the 90s are well and truly back, the answer is yes. Yes, they are. This could have run as a CK One ad:

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That is not a complaint. It is just an observation. Another one: I am really into the totally effed up hair on Kristen Stewart. I would look like I had just rolled out of bed after three days with norovirus if I did this with my hair, but it works with her general aesthetic.  Leaning into that crabby, disaffected vibe she gives off sometimes — although, for what it’s worth, I don’t think she is disaffected; if anything, and the interview with T bears this out, I think she’s very affected by things — has been really smart for her, stylistically speaking. The sparkly mini-skirt thing she did while she was in Twilight was often quite cute, but this feels a lot more genuine. (Don’t tell anyone, but I also confess to loving a sweater dress. Although I prefer that no one be able to see my granny panties when I’m wearing one.)

Speaking of genuine, I also thought she handled questions about her personal life well. For example:

Only recently has she been open to a conversation about her romantic life, let alone her sexuality. “I would never talk about any of my relationships before, but once I started dating girls it seemed like there was an opportunity to represent something really positive,” she says. “I still want to protect my personal life, but I don’t want to seem like I’m protecting the idea, so that does sort of feel like I owe something to people.”

That would be a hard line to walk. I am a total nosy gossip and I always want to know about people’s personal lives — from celebrities to the people who live across the street to the lady at the deli counter the other day who turned to me and announced, “I’M GETTING A DIVORCE,” to the lady at the deli counter the day before that who ordered three pounds of lox, and when I (cheerfully) said, “that’s a lot of lox,” rolled her eyes and said, “all she eats is lox. IT’S INSANE” — but I get why a celebrity would want to keep that on lockdown. Once you start using your personal life for PR, the public gets annoyed when you change your mind about doing that, which is unfair but understandable. But if you start to feel like being private as a choice to protect yourself has started to make it look more like you’re trying to hide something, I can see where you might make the choice to open the door to people. It’s kind of a thorny issue. How far should you open the door?

[Photo: T Magazine]

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Well Played: Cara Delevingne on Elle, September 2016


I have to admit, I love both of these covers. This first one literally stopped me in my tracks as I was walking past my friendly local newsstand:

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IT’S SO 8OS. I think that half the reason I stopped was to make sure that I hadn’t fallen into a wormhole in the space-time continuum to 1985. (If I had, though, I would have run over to Merrill Lynch and bought myself a bunch of Apple stock, before attempting to do a whole bunch of stuff you can’t do anymore, like go to a Prince concert and smoke inside. I’d also probably go see Back to the Future to appreciate the irony/figure out clues to climb out of the wormhole. I would try not to go talk to little ten-year-old me, though, because doesn’t that do something terrible to the fabric of space and time? I can’t remember. This is why I’d need to go see Back to the Future.)

This one is just a hoot:

Cara Delevingne Elle September 2016

It’s SO fashion-y and over the top; it really makes me smile. As I said last week in our post about her UK Vogue cover, Cara — especially compared to the actresses we so often see on magazine covers — is a pro. There is a real sense that this is her job, and it’s because she is very very good at it. Can you imagine Elle asking, say, Jessica Chastain to do this? That’s not even a slam on Chastain, who I love, and who I think is very beautiful and a very talented actress. It’s just that pulling this sort of shot off without looking like a complete ding-dong requires a highly specialized and unusual set of skills.

If you want to see the inside shots — they’re good — and read the interview, it’s over at Elle.

[Covers: Elle,  Terry Tsiolis]

 

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Well Played Cover: Winona Ryder on Nylon, September 2016


I mean, this might be my favorite cover that Nylon has ever done:

Nylon September 2016 Winona Ryder

I kind of want to frame it. It’s got so much personality — and god knows, it’s nice to see such a direct nod to how much Nylon has been influenced by the zines of the 90s (and the Sassy aesthetic). The picture isn’t perfect, but it feels very genuine, and that’s so much better. Just the other day, I was thinking about how Winona getting caught shoplifting was SUCH a huge deal at the time — her trial was the leading story on the nightly local news here in Los Angeles — but if someone as talented as she is did that today, it would probably be little more than a blip in their week. Whether that’s a good thing or not, of course, is up for debate. It was obviously a rock-bottom moment for Winona, and she’s said it saved her life — she was depressed, suffered from anxiety, and was using drugs prescribed by a doctor who was notorious in Los Angeles for being a pill-pusher. (I remember when this whole thing went down, my friend Victoria — she’s the one who was Fabio’s PR person when he was hit in the fact by a bird — scoffed when she heard who the doctor was. “Oh, HIM. There’s a reason everyone calls him Dr. Feelgood,” she said.) Which, I suppose, just goes to show that you never know how things are going to end up working out. Either way, I’ve missed Winona terribly, and if she’s having a Winonaissance, I am here for it. Wino, as they say, forever.

[Photo: Nylon/Ash Kingston]

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Fugs and Fabs: The September Issue of International Vogues


Last week, I promised that we’d have more September Vogues to eyeball — and I did not lie to you! (The first round is here, in case you missed it, and, of course, Kendall Jenner is on the cover of American Vogue.)

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Fug the Cover: Gwen Stefani on Cosmopolitan


Well, the fonts and colors are better, and there is a merciful lack of dumb pandering slang or emojis.

Gwen Stefano on Cosmo, Sept 2016

But Cosmo did more interesting work with the photos inside the magazine. You could plug Carrie Underwood in here and be like, “Okay, sure, still makes sense,” which is not something I have ever said about anything Gwen-related before; further, something about the stiff facial pose will only exacerbate people’s concerns that Gwen has been tinkering with her face. This feels a bit too much like Homogenized And Partly Frozen Gwen Stefani With Bonus Fishnets, and I wish for more.

[Photo: Cosmo]

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Fugs and Fabs the September Issue: International Vogues


Ah, yes. Nothing says, “Summer will soon be over” like the appearance of September issues on your newsstands. Drink up your cold brews because it will soon be Pumpkin Spice Latte time again, friends. While we wait to see to whom Anna Wintour gives the coveted American Vogue nod, let’s check in with a variety of international Vogues (not all of them have made their appearances yet, so I’m sure we have at least one more round of this feature to go — so don’t be too perturbed if I missed your favorite iteration). As usual, I have Magazine Envy.

[Covers: A Variety of Vogues]

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