When I tell you Stella McCartney designed this, even if you don’t have a photographic memory for her stuff, you are going to say, “Of course she did.”

Because every time there is something sort of cracky and square with an element of transparency, Stella McCartney ends up being the one who was behind it —  just like how every time somebody shows up like they are a caterpillar trapped in a cocoon of tulle, it’s a Marchesa.

And with Stella, it goes double if the outfit in question scrolls down and ends in pants.

Now, Iman wore this in gold to the Met Ball, and it was kind of fabulous on her. But there are some key differences: One, Iman wasn’t wearing every single piece of makeup in her drawer; two, Iman is Iman; three, Iman’s hair looked all naturally fabulous instead of frizzy-twee; four, it fit Iman, whereas Gwen seems to have taped it to her chest in such a way that the front won’t hang properly and has turned into an art-deco accident; and five, it just looked better in gold. Now, of course, there are some people for whom Gwen Stefani can do no wrong because she is Gwen Stefani, and I get it, but to me this turns her into a giant rectangle with legs, kind of like how in grade school sometimes I half-bisected my souvenir erasers from field trips and then made them walk around on my desk. Iman looked sexy and bodacious; Gwen looks like bad geometry.

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