Well Played, Jessica Alba


I feel like Jessica Alba should have had this baby about six months ago:

And, as such, I feel like we need to give the girl props for a) being up and about, period and b) managing to take what is essentially a tent and still look cute and chic and pulled together. Maybe after she has the baby, she can teach a class on that down at The Centuh. And yes, I did somehow end up watching Honey on VH1 like TWICE last weekend. I can’t explain it. It’s like I turned on the TV and just FELL IN.  I am mesmerized by the number of sports jerseys worn in that movie, but I am even MORE mesmerized by the fact that apparently this summer marked the straight-to-DVD release of Honey 2: Dance Battle, a mere NINE YEARS after Honey 1. AND it stars Fug Favorite and Vampire Diaries star Kat Graham. AND! Mario Lopez, AS HIMSELF. AND Audrina Patridge, NOT as herself. How have I not seen this yet?? THAT MUST BE RECTIFIED.

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Comments (26):

  1. Leah

    Nope, can’t get behind it! The outfit looks like a sea urchin shell.

  2. Lisa K

    I LOATHE Jessica Alba…she filmed The Eye in my hometown, Albuquerque, and was a total douche the whole time. She also spent time in Alamogordo, NM at the school for the blind and then preceded to talk trash about how dumpy Albuquerque was when really she was talking about Alamogordo…idiot. Look, Albuquerque is kinda ghetto, that’s why we have the most episodes of Cops, but still I can talk trash about it because I live here. I hope her baby looks like a monkey.

  3. Jessi

    Cute dress, but I’m not a fan of the styling. The bag is boring, the cuff has little stars on it to mimic the print of the dress, and the hair is questionable at best.

  4. Fan

    I am hoping you will rent Honey 2 and give everyone the full fromage. I can’t bother to watch it, but I would love to hear all about it!

  5. Marie-L

    I feel cheated! Honey 2 is being released in theater in France… sometime I wonder about our tastes!

  6. Katie

    I really must’ve been living under a rock, because for all the celebrity gossip I snack on, I somehow didn’t know she was pregnant again.

  7. Willow

    the ruffling in the middle ruins it for me and even then all I can think of when seeing this is that she looks like a giant guineafowl.

  8. vandalfan

    Any movie subtitled “Dance Battle” has got to be frommaged. You simply must.

    I think her hair is nice with this voluminous dotted tent, but she needs to look into a proper, industrial strength brassiere.

  9. Carol

    Did I mention that I literally ran into Mario Lopez in Chicago? He was coming OUT of the restaurant I was going INTO. I practically stepped on his toes. As it is though, I looked up right into his dark pools of delightful eyes and then I apparently lost all brain activity because I didn’t realise it was Mario Lopez until he had politely stepped past the clumsy gal at the door.

    Damn it.

  10. witjunkie

    I’m willing to bet Alba feels like she should have had this baby 6 months ago, too.

  11. Willow

    I only just noticed this is a Spy Kids 4 event :| is Alexa Vega still doing those movies?

  12. Faye

    Straight to DVD? Ahem, Honey 2 got a CINEMA release in the UK lades, coz we know classy teen dance films when we see em.

    @Willow – I only caught it through the corner of my eye but i’m sure on this Spy Kids 4 (?!?) poster I saw Joel McHale. WHAT?!

  13. Willow

    It’s also called “Spy Kids 4: Aroma Scope”

    I am confused on many levels.

  14. Anne At Large

    No pity for that hairdo. She’s pregnant, not blind.

  15. CherBearBlue

    Her hair is atrocious and this dress makes her boobs look saggy and gross. Get a bra on and huff those babies up! That seam also hits her right on her bump…so wrong!

  16. Wendy

    This is heinous. There is a ton of gorgeous maternity wear out there, even on a far more modest budget than I’m sure she has at her disposal. There is no excuse for this.

  17. Allison

    Um, PLEASE Fug the Fromage on that one. I cannot even believe there’s a second one.

  18. neiges

    Lampshade vibes from this dress… And please fug the fromage for us! Any fromage…

  19. Christian

    @Faye: Yes, Joel McHale is in this Spy Kids crap. I can’t blame him for wanting to rake in some extra cash. I just hope he dishes about working with Jessica Alba on The Soup, since I’ve heard she’s a bit of a pain to work with (see Lisa K’s comment for starters).

  20. Kara

    Bad pageant hair. Actually, the hair looks like the pageant was yesterday and she hasn’t taken down the ‘do yet. The dress would be passable (but still not particularly good) without the ruffle in the middle. As it is, the ruffle chops her body into thirds: boobs, bump, bottom.

  21. yeahandalso

    wow, that hair looks like it should be in an early 90′s soap opera

  22. Edith

    I think she looks cute at a stage when “cute” is almost impossible, so props for that. I cannot imagine being that highly pregnant and not wearing a strapped bra, though. Still, she pulls it off.

  23. Lina

    I have a friend who is similarly pregnant and the heat is killing her, so all I can think of looking at this photo is how cool and breezy her dress looks. Her hair’s up off her neck, she’s probably got sandals on, and her assistant is probably waiting out of frame with a giant slurp-ee. Which is to say, I think it works, especially for a premiere that no one is going to remember a month from now. (Not dissing the kids flick, just saying this is hardly the Oscars. Girlfriend CAN dress down.)

  24. Bambi Anne Dear

    This is well-played? I think not.

  25. Sajorina

    I’d wear that dress! I think she looks really good for being that pregnant! How long has it been now… 15 months?

  26. Letchik

    The dress looks like a sea urchin shell