Unfug It Up, Victoria Justice


unfug-it-up

Did we tell you that story about how we went to Fashion Week in September, and not only did WE not recognize Victoria Justice in the front row of Badgley Mischka until too late, NO ONE else realized who she was, either? That moment was not nearly as exciting as the one time we thought we spied Gwyneth Paltrow and it turned out to be a dude, but it still made me worry that perhaps I was no longer a Fug Girl, but rather a Fug Crone — too old to know What the Kids Are Up To, Get Off My Lawn, Etc, Etc. In fairness, I think I thought she would look more like Nina Dobrev in person, but she really does not. Nor does she here:

When I WAS a Kid (presumably cavorting on the lawn of some old crone who didn’t even know who Ian Ziering was), I had the top of this dress. It was a bathing suit and it connected — with buttons! It was the very late 80s! — to a similarly pink and black bottom. I wore it through many a summer day in the pool working on my synchronized swimming routines with my friend Jennifer (note: in 1988, everyone’s best friend was named Jennifer, even girls who were themselves named Jennifer. It is therefore very weird to me that, in about fifty years,  “Jennifer” is going to be an Old Lady Name, like Gertrude). So I have some fondness for this look, but I don’t actually think it WORKS — and that is despite my well-documented fondness for dressing like a Valentine. What do you think, Fug Nation? How do we fix this?

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Comments (57):

  1. Kristin
    0

    She looks like Vanessa Marcil.

    I would cut that dress of at the knees to start and get rid of the cut outs so it doesn’t look like a bathing suit under a shiny towel.

    • Fawn
      0

      Totally.

    • steph527
      0

      I was thinking Vanessa too!!

      When I was in school- we had 5 jennifers & 5 stephanies on our cheer squad- it will be an old lady name in 50 years LOL

  2. A.J.
    0

    Oh, Tori. I’m going to send Jade over with some scissors to try to fix that for you. I’m sure she won’t mind.

  3. Falcon
    0

    New split about leonardo dicaprio and lively

  4. tlace
    0

    When she doesn’t look like Nina D she looks like Vanessa Marcil.

    As for the unfugging; shorten it, replace the missing pieces, make it mostly that hot pink color, get better/funkier shoes, add some chunky bracelets or a big ring and do something with the hair.

  5. T-Bird
    0

    I still don’t know who this is. I actually like the top. Maybe if the bottom was shorter and either pink or black? Or pink and black stripes? Let’s just embrace the 80s heinousness of it all.

  6. Lina
    0

    Begonia pink and tomato red just don’t mix. A less-blue pink or a less-orange red — maybe — but I’d rather see it in purple and green with blue where the black is. I also agree that shorter length and better shoes would help a lot.

  7. Rebecca
    0

    I don’t like this length. This works on pants, but not on dresses. I think it needs to be shorter. No cutouts and the skirt should meet the top in a straight line so it no longer looks like a vest. The skirt is maybe not the right shade of red for this pink. And I don’t think I like the black under the top b/c it looks like she’s wearing a tube top to cover her sideboob.

  8. Jennifer
    0

    Old lady Jennifer here. I would swear on a stack of Sassy magazines that I am looking at a picture of Vanessa Marcil. Is it really 1990? Am I 16 again? If so, this needs to be shortened to mid thigh.

  9. ck
    0

    Get rid of the black shoes and black section on the bodice, then fill that in with more of the pink. Hair up in a chignon, and accessorize with lots of GOLD (including shoes).

  10. Mary Sue
    0

    I hate the pink/red thing – but, I think that is because I am a redhead and I could never get away with it… Plus, I hate those cutouts on this dress. So… New dress?

    Also, in 1988 my best friend was also named Jennifer.

  11. JennyA
    0

    Hair in a ponytail and get rid of the cutouts, first. I think it would be cuter in a shorter length, maybe not quite knee-length.

    However, I primarily want to say: Hi, my name is Jennifer, I was 11 in 1988, and my best friend was named Jennifer. Then in high school, our close group of friends included yet another Jennifer. So. Yes. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

  12. Michelle
    0

    Make the hot pink portion a one shoulder top, with no cutouts. The top should meet the red part of the dress at her waist Chop off the hemline to just below her knee. Instead of tight, the dress should be flowy and move. Top it off with that gold gucci belt worn previously by Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian. Hair should be in an elegant beehive. Shoes should be Brian Atwood platform pumps.

  13. yeahandalso
    0

    Yikes, I don’t think there is saving it…it’s hideous.

    Am I the only one who was always bugged that Ian Zeiring pronounced his name Eye-in?

  14. Katie
    0

    Fill in the cutouts and change the skirt to be more a-line and cut just above the knees. Also, make the skirt a peacock blue. while I don’t mind this red and pink together as much as I usually do, pink and blue is one of my favourite colour combinations. I don’t mind the shoes, so I’d keep them unless we can find something shinier that isn’t a platform.

  15. vpc
    0

    I had the same swimsuit!

    It looked a lot better than this dress, too…

    Maybe she should just go for the retro-80s swimsuit look and lose the skirt altogether? After all, enough other people have trouble with looking (or not looking) into pants…

  16. Evalyn
    0

    I like that the black pumps and the black insert sort of pull this together. However, the cutout lets the back sag making the hem uneven, longer in the back than the front. So, I think the issue is fit. I don’t think coordinating colors are important in these bright neon shades, except that they tend to fade the person to nothingness and all you see is the color. A better fitting dress a bit less LOUD, because she’s a pretty girl and derserves to be noticed.

  17. Jenna
    0

    First: Give the girl a sandwich. PLEASE! MY GOD!
    Second: Shorten to just above the knee, add some funky-er shoes and maybe a couple of bangles? I still am not sure about that though. I’m also still not sure about this girl in general.

    • Christopher D
      0

      Dear lord YES! Please, please make her eat something. She’s not just thin she’s almost transparent! Maybe some mall food as we shop for ANYTHING ELSE!

      • Kat
        0

        I think the angle is part of what makes her look so skinny. I mean, she’s a naturally skinny girl, you can tell (or at least I can, because I’m the same way). She’s not unhealthy looking, I think it’s just the angle. As for the outfit… as much as I think she’s a cute girl and a good actress… kill it with fire.

  18. Amber
    0

    First of all, thank you Fug Nation, for assisting me in figuring out who this chick looks like. I don’t know who she is (someone on ABC Family, maybe?), but she looks somewhat familiar. Then a bunch of you said Vanessa Marcel and I was like “YES, that’s it!” So thank you.
    Not sure the dress can be saved. Length is weird, so shorten it, but the colors don’t go. Pink and red CAN work, but not in this instance. So I say ditch the whole thing and go back to your closet.

  19. Fawn
    0

    My best friend in 1988 was also named Jennifer.

  20. Jen
    0

    I’m a Jennifer and my best friend is Jennifer–we would sign notes to our parents Jen^2.

  21. Kristen
    0

    Add me to the list of people who had (and still has!) a best friend named Jennifer from 1988. It amuses me that now that all of the Jennifers (and relatedly, the Jessicas) are all having baby girls of their own, they are all naming them Emma or Emily.

  22. Janet
    0

    @ Kristen I have two friends named Jennifer who both named their girls Ella/Ellie. (In “88 were were 14)

  23. Dani
    0

    I think Victoria looks beautiful and the dress is super cute! She can pull off any look and rock it!

  24. Brittany
    0

    In 1992, there were 8 Jennifers in the alto section of my school choir. I’ve sometimes wondered what life be like when MY name becomes an Old Lady Name because, really, can you even picture an old Brittany? or Heather or Tiffany?

  25. Lauren
    0

    Give her one of those party sized sandwiches from subway

  26. Miel
    0

    I was going to say to cut it and to make the skirt slimmer… but that would be vaguely reminiscent of Pretty Woman.

  27. Jennifer
    0

    I have no answers for how to fix it. I just have to tell you I am LAUGHING OUT LOUD at your description of friends in the 80′s. Because I am a Jennifer. And my best friend really was also a Jennifer. And we had another friend name Jennifer too.

    • jennifer
      0

      I too am a Jennifer with 2 childhood BFs named Jennifer.
      1988: 6 Jennifers, 1 classroom.
      Can’t wait till Jennifer is the next Gertrude!
      Gee thanks mom & dad :)

  28. vandalfan
    0

    My best friend’s DAUGHTER is named Jennifer. I am officially a Fug Crone. *sigh*

    This needs the cut outs sewn back up, and hand her a comb or brush while we’re at it.

  29. Sophia Loren
    0

    I too had a best friend named Jennifer. And we spent the summer of 1988 practicing our synchronized swimming routines.

  30. Anne B
    0

    First: Jessica, PREACH. This is a swimgown, for reals.

    Second, you’re not kidding about the Jennifers. I had Jennifers Middle School (which was then called Junior High, and Mean was born there), Jennifers High School, Jennifers College, Grad-School-Jen (lesbian), Jennifer My Roommate, and Jenny My Colleague. The last three were by far the most fun.

    Third, many of the hot baby names are sort of grandpappy. I can’t tell you how many tiny Henrys and Marys I’ve met lately — and last week, for the first time, I met a toddler Shirley.

    Both my grandmothers were named Mary. My great-grandfather: Henry.

    • NYCGirl
      0

      Shirley was my grandmother’s name, and it kind of makes me happy to think of a tiny little Shirley. :)

    • jennifer
      0

      I’m just a Jennifer living in a Jennifer world.

      Totally with you on this babies-with-old-lady-names thing.

      Met a cute toddler Helen (adorable and my nana’s name), cute baby Madeline (gram’s name), decided old-fashioned names are charming. Husband declares too granny…isn’t that the point?

      p.s. adore Mary

  31. Anne B
    0

    @vandalfan, There’s no age on the internet!

    Anyway, if you’re “a Fug Crone”, better make room for me on the porch. I’m dragging my rocking chair right up next to yours, ’cause no one here is funnier than you …

    xoxoxo :)

  32. Joylynn
    0

    In 1988, my best friend was Jennifer. And we had 3 other friends named Jennifer. And, I had that swimsuit in blue and white. That is all.

  33. Laurabel
    0

    I feel like this is wrong of me, but the thing that bothers me most is the black “modesty panel” in the cleavage. It reminds me of those terrible Cami Secret things, or I picture her mom safety-pinning-in a piece of stretchy black nylon that she cut off a pair of panties. Yes, it’s a terrible dress, but take off the panel, and add a short chunky statement necklace, and some big chunky funky platform purple suede stiletto sandals, and she just might NOT look like a girl who’s in the dressing room at Fashion Bug trying on prom dresses for the first time.

  34. NYCGirl
    0

    I think it might be Rachael Leigh Cook that she reminds me of. Also, though I grew up in the ’80s, I strangely did not have any friends named Jennifer.

    Oh, and the dress? I’d start over– I hate the color combination.

  35. Claire L
    0

    She’s young and cute and can pull offthe colors and even the cut outs… I’d cut it at the knees, more pencil skirt like… and I liked the hair in a ponytail idea.

  36. RenaissanceGrrl
    0

    My sister is a little bit older than you two, and is also named Jennifer. =)

  37. Laurian
    0

    Oh. My. God. I had those same bathers with the button, IN AUSTRALIA!
    They were totally hot.

  38. Jules
    0

    That’s such a scary observation!
    Nobody names their kid Jennifer anymore, and it’s going to date us!
    Now it’s all, names that don’t spell like they sound, mostly because the parents invented it!
    And they have to have a middle name to go along with it…
    Just throw some vowels together, and don’t forget “Y.”

    As for the outfit, it would have looked better in solid red.

  39. Sajorina
    0

    I think it’s pretty, but I would’ve either done the skirt in black or pink… The red is too jarring!

  40. Sketchy
    0

    Make the whole thing one color please! I don’t actually hate red and pink together, but I think it has to be done carefully…a rusty matte red will never match bright bubblegum pink, but frankly unless you are Katy Perry or want to be mistaken for her or are about 5 years old, no one should wear bright bubblegum pink.

    If it was solid I don’t think the cutouts would not be too much, but as is the whole thing is just overdesigned, to quote Nina Garcia.

  41. Lisa
    0

    “in 1988, everyone’s best friend was named Jennifer” OMG SO TRUE.

    There were 6 Jennifers and 4 Lisas (myself included) in a graduating class of 83 students (50 of which were female) in my high school.

  42. luxsword
    0

    ill-fitting shoes !

  43. vandalfan
    0

    Hey, Anne B, let’s make sure there are mojitos near our rockers!

  44. Anne B
    0

    @vandalfan, if Jon Hamm’s serving them, so much the better.

    :)

    • Sajorina
      0

      I agree! Thank you, Anne B, I have my white wicker rocking chair ready!

  45. Kati Irons
    0

    I know hot pink & red is the New New Thing, but I hate it together. That said, remove the black inset at the neck. It adds nothing and in fact I think emphasizes the hot pink red train wreck. If she replaced the black inset with a red inset, it would in fact make the dress look more like a dress, (and more like the red/pink combination is not an accident) and less like a colorblind person dressing separates from Goodwill.

  46. Jennifer
    0

    My best friend in high school (which was in the late 90s) was another Jennifer. Now all my friends are named Rachel. Oddly enough, there are over 300 people where I work and we just got a second Jennifer.

  47. jenny
    0

    I am a Jennifer who had many an 80s name twin. My mom claims she just liked it, but my dad suspects that Love Story (1977) had a big ol’ something to do with the spate of 80s Jennifers. That said, it was kind of fun coming up with creative alternate names as a school kid (Jenny-this, Jenny-that, Jennifer, Jen, Jenny), but now that I work with other Jennifers as an adult, it is just … awkward. But um, oh yeah: that outfit is CUH-razy!