The Fugprentice

SUNGLASSES: I cannot believe people are allowed to do this to poor, helpless dogs.

LEOPARD: Kid, you don’t know how lucky you have it. Sunglasses? Probably with SPF lenses? LUXURY. Why, back in my day, I got my fur dyed every other week and wore weird ski hats and bows in my hair.

SUNGLASSES: Easy for you to say, Panties. You don’t have your undercarriage hanging out for all the world to see.

LEOPARD: Girl, please. Amateur. Why do you think I learned to cross my legs?

SUNGLASSES: Oh, WOE, can’t she put me into a kennel?

LEOPARD: Child, you are already in prison. At least you’re starting out with a cellmate.

SUNGLASSES: You could enjoy my suffering a bit less, you know.

LEOPARD: No. No, I couldn’t.

[Photos: WENN]

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Comments (61):

  1. Lindy

    Oh, dear. Look, let’s be realistic about nail “art” people. You wipe…yourself with those hands–do you really want a bow with a quarter inch projection on it? Think of the germs!

    She was soooooo mean on Celebrity Apprentice.

    • ErinS

      Yes…how does one take care of one’s “lady parts” with that tomfoolery on one’s fingers??? Seriously…one swipe the wrong way and she’s headed to the ER.

  2. Fat Desdemona

    ICK. Everything about her is repulsive. I don’t really know what she looks like for all that STUFF (makeup, hair, nails, “clothes”) on her.

  3. vandalfan

    She’s Hickory Smoked! With the hams bursting out of the wrappers.

    • Cletus Buclaloo

      Vandal, this is why I love you!

    • Anne B

      Ditto. (I want a t-shirt that reads, “WHAT VANDAL SAID.”)

      Do you think Aubrey knows what “tan” is? More to the point, that a tan isn’t an outfit?

  4. Tracy L

    How can she think that this looks attractive in any way? No, just no.
    And those poor puppies.

    • francesca

      To which puppies are you referring – the fuzzy litte white ones with the unfortunate accessories or the overly large brown ones squished into the cheap fabric?

  5. Lina

    How is that even real. It’s like a P.T. Barnum side show.

    • Sandra

      Which part did you think was real? I think the pooches might be genuine examples of canis lupus familiaris, but after that it’s all store-bought. The hair, the tan, the chestal enhancement, the nails….she was born with none of that. Also without talent or good taste, as far as I can tell.

      • Kayla

        I think the most unfortunate part is that these things are all ‘real’ – as in they all actually exist within the confines of this universe.

  6. Kate

    Am I imagining things, or is this party sponsored by rehab? If only they had rehab for being an a**hole.

    • ChaChaHeels

      I like that it’s sponsored by Rehab. It’s like a comment made by the universe.

  7. Amanda

    After all the terrible reality tv shows she’s been on, you’d think there’d be no where to go but up. I mean, if Snooki can quit tanning (even if only due to pregnancy, I’m still impressed), you’d think Aubrey could take at least a day off so that way one thing about her wouldn’t be a total wreck.

    Also, I think she IS Sigfried & Roy’s worst nightmare…

  8. Carol

    Beyond the outer boundaries of hideous …

  9. Shiitake

    Circling the drain.

  10. Cranky Old Batt

    See? This is what you get when you don’t keep the gene pool clean.

  11. Caroline

    Little leopard print puppy just looks so scared. I long to rescue her.

  12. Helen

    I want to rescue those poor little dogs, too.

    As for the other choices, in entirety… well, you don’t look like that by accident, that’s for sure. It takes a lot of time and money to be this tacky.

  13. mary lou bethune

    Please stop! People like this, that tart of John Edwards, John Edwards, all the courtneys of the world who do not know how to behave, and Lil Kim, riahnna, and all else who think we need to see their fake assets should not be featured on your witty, ironic, brill blog.
    It makes me need a shower whenever I see this sort of nonsense.

  14. Mahastee

    Iyeesh. I feel gross just looking at her. She even makes a cover-up look naked.

  15. Ella


    MY GOD.

  16. kb

    Holy Mary, mother of God — what in the HELL is that? Her legs look about the same shade as the Tanning Mom’s face. And I just can’t with those nails. Gross, lady.

  17. Dani

    Oh, my eyes! Must go stare at the sun to reverse the ill effects.

  18. jjdaddyo

    Ow. Smooshy. I’m not a girl, but that can’t be comfortable.

  19. ChristieLea

    She’s channelling 2003 Paris Hilton. I can smell the desperation from here.

    At least I hope that’s what I smell.

  20. TaraMisu

    Yikes. YIKES!!!

  21. The Fugger

    Welcome back, Nobody O’Day. It’s like you never left us.

    This is also quite the start to your Fug Madness campaign. We might have a repeat winner yet.

  22. Sajorina

    If dogs could talk… I like Aubrey, but, come on, she looks ridiculous, what she does to her poor pets should be considered abuse and those nails are horrendous!

  23. Kayla

    I sincerely wish you all could have seen my face for the first half a minute I laid eyes on this monstrosity.

  24. Emilee

    Sometimes I like to show really funny pics fom Fug to my husband, but I think I’ll hold off here. I’m pretty sure one look at Ms. O’Day would be enough to make him gay.

  25. Mvg

    Her parents must be so proud…

  26. Erotismo

    Another erotic bombshell figure that will explode? Is this is how men define sexy and alluring?

    • Sandra

      According to my guy friends, a certain segment of the female population THINKS that men define sexy and alluring this way. Many, if not most, men find this just as horrifying as we do. And the ones who do find this attractive aren’t anybody we want to know anyway.

  27. Isazouzi

    She reminds me of those people in Hunger Games who live in Capitol, away from the realities of the world, and dye their skin weird colors. It’s terrifying.

  28. Sam

    It’s Hazmat Barbie™!

  29. Ms. A.

    She reminds me of Pamela Anderson. Only Pam might be more relevant. SAD.
    Also, Dogs are not pants.

    • Tracy L

      “dogs are not pants.” Oh, I am in tears I am laughing so hard! Thanks Ms. A!

  30. Barbara

    Words fail me.

  31. Christian

    I don’t understand why these people carry around their animals instead of putting them on leashes, or at least in a carrier. No dog wants to be held like that.

  32. zackster

    Why are we talking about this tacky nobody? Gah.

  33. Kara

    She is going to look like a saddle in, like, six months. (See also: Tanning Mom, who looks like a saddle right this second.) If you look up “extra” in the dictionary, this is what you’ll find. The tan, the extensions, the implants, the weird creepy nails, and the using dogs as accessories … it’s all just so vulgar. She looks, literally, gross.

  34. Melinda

    The really sad part is she used to be pretty, like actually pretty and not overly tan and overly booby. It’s sad that she thought getting “famous” meant having to get fake boobs and do all of this other crap. UGH

  35. Victoria

    You missed the obvious “bitch, please” comment

  36. Jules Winfield

    A quick glance on Wikipedia tells me she’s 28. She looks like she’s in her 40s.

    The worst thing for me is the tan. Did she actually stop and look in the mirror before stepping out? Does she not have a poorly-paid assistant who can tell her “you look awful”?

    I actually thought those dogs were stuffed toys. Sheesh.

  37. katkin74

    Anybody get a close look at something besides the nails in the large frame pic? Since when does a person have a foot long boob-crease? Smashed and headed south. Sounds like a bad movie. lol

  38. gryt

    Her legs are that exact ‘Florida Senior Citizen Leather’ color.

  39. Dazie

    I saw a headline that described this outfit as a “monokini.”

    Isn’t a “monokini” just a one piece bathing suit?

  40. angela

    Personally I am more horrified that so many people know who she is – I thought she was a Playboy throw-away – than by her outfit. Maybe if we stop watching bad reality TV people like her would go away. Please. Make. It. Stop.

    • The Fugger

      She has multiple talents – for example, she used to be the lead singer (or whatever) in Puff Daddy’s P. Diddy’s Puffy’s Diddy’s short-lived girl group Danity Kane. And she has the ability to appear on any reality show that aims a camera at her face. Even from around the earth.

      More importantly, she’s also our Fug Madness ’09 champion. (Officially. Solange and SWINTON were the true fug queens from that year, and that’s what I’m sticking to.)

  41. Kenneth Conway

    Is she the one who starred in Russ Meyers’s Beyond the Valley of the Ultra Skanks?

  42. Donatella von Slutth

    Her nails are sooo purdyyyyyyy! I wanna do mine like that, but I’m an unemployment office worker.

    Do you think I cang et away with it?

  43. Eileen OH

    She’s one of the people I SO wish would go away, and every time I see her here I want to slap her smirk right off her face. I think the best thing we could do is stop looking at her, talking about her and give her the anonymity she so richly deserves.

  44. Lily1214

    Oh my goodness!

  45. spolied

    oh yeah and wears a BAKINI

  46. Lenen Berekenen
  47. Mamasan

    Did anyone else seem to notice that it looks like she can barely move her face in the 2nd pic?? It actually looks as if it’s painful for her. Oh well, I’m sure it’s less painful than having to look at her.