The Fugprentice


SUNGLASSES: I cannot believe people are allowed to do this to poor, helpless dogs.

LEOPARD: Kid, you don’t know how lucky you have it. Sunglasses? Probably with SPF lenses? LUXURY. Why, back in my day, I got my fur dyed every other week and wore weird ski hats and bows in my hair.

SUNGLASSES: Easy for you to say, Panties. You don’t have your undercarriage hanging out for all the world to see.

LEOPARD: Girl, please. Amateur. Why do you think I learned to cross my legs?

SUNGLASSES: Oh, WOE, can’t she put me into a kennel?

LEOPARD: Child, you are already in prison. At least you’re starting out with a cellmate.

SUNGLASSES: You could enjoy my suffering a bit less, you know.

LEOPARD: No. No, I couldn’t.

[Photos: WENN]

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Comments (61):

  1. Lindy
    0

    Oh, dear. Look, let’s be realistic about nail “art” people. You wipe…yourself with those hands–do you really want a bow with a quarter inch projection on it? Think of the germs!

    She was soooooo mean on Celebrity Apprentice.

    • ErinS
      0

      Yes…how does one take care of one’s “lady parts” with that tomfoolery on one’s fingers??? Seriously…one swipe the wrong way and she’s headed to the ER.

  2. Fat Desdemona
    0

    ICK. Everything about her is repulsive. I don’t really know what she looks like for all that STUFF (makeup, hair, nails, “clothes”) on her.

  3. vandalfan
    0

    She’s Hickory Smoked! With the hams bursting out of the wrappers.

    • Cletus Buclaloo
      0

      Vandal, this is why I love you!

    • Anne B
      0

      Ditto. (I want a t-shirt that reads, “WHAT VANDAL SAID.”)

      Do you think Aubrey knows what “tan” is? More to the point, that a tan isn’t an outfit?

  4. Tracy L
    0

    How can she think that this looks attractive in any way? No, just no.
    And those poor puppies.

    • francesca
      0

      To which puppies are you referring – the fuzzy litte white ones with the unfortunate accessories or the overly large brown ones squished into the cheap fabric?

  5. Lina
    0

    How is that even real. It’s like a P.T. Barnum side show.

    • Sandra
      0

      Which part did you think was real? I think the pooches might be genuine examples of canis lupus familiaris, but after that it’s all store-bought. The hair, the tan, the chestal enhancement, the nails….she was born with none of that. Also without talent or good taste, as far as I can tell.

      • Kayla
        0

        I think the most unfortunate part is that these things are all ‘real’ – as in they all actually exist within the confines of this universe.

  6. Kate
    0

    Am I imagining things, or is this party sponsored by rehab? If only they had rehab for being an a**hole.

    • ChaChaHeels
      0

      I like that it’s sponsored by Rehab. It’s like a comment made by the universe.

  7. Amanda
    0

    After all the terrible reality tv shows she’s been on, you’d think there’d be no where to go but up. I mean, if Snooki can quit tanning (even if only due to pregnancy, I’m still impressed), you’d think Aubrey could take at least a day off so that way one thing about her wouldn’t be a total wreck.

    Also, I think she IS Sigfried & Roy’s worst nightmare…

  8. Carol
    0

    Beyond the outer boundaries of hideous …

  9. Shiitake
    0

    Circling the drain.

  10. Cranky Old Batt
    0

    See? This is what you get when you don’t keep the gene pool clean.

  11. Caroline
    0

    Little leopard print puppy just looks so scared. I long to rescue her.

  12. Helen
    0

    I want to rescue those poor little dogs, too.

    As for the other choices, in entirety… well, you don’t look like that by accident, that’s for sure. It takes a lot of time and money to be this tacky.

  13. mary lou bethune
    0

    Please stop! People like this, that tart of John Edwards, John Edwards, all the courtneys of the world who do not know how to behave, and Lil Kim, riahnna, and all else who think we need to see their fake assets should not be featured on your witty, ironic, brill blog.
    It makes me need a shower whenever I see this sort of nonsense.

  14. Mahastee
    0

    Iyeesh. I feel gross just looking at her. She even makes a cover-up look naked.

  15. Ella
    0

    DOGS. ARE. NOT. ACCESSORIES.

    MY GOD.

  16. kb
    0

    Holy Mary, mother of God — what in the HELL is that? Her legs look about the same shade as the Tanning Mom’s face. And I just can’t with those nails. Gross, lady.

  17. Dani
    0

    Oh, my eyes! Must go stare at the sun to reverse the ill effects.

  18. jjdaddyo
    0

    Ow. Smooshy. I’m not a girl, but that can’t be comfortable.

  19. ChristieLea
    0

    She’s channelling 2003 Paris Hilton. I can smell the desperation from here.

    At least I hope that’s what I smell.

  20. TaraMisu
    0

    Yikes. YIKES!!!

  21. The Fugger
    0

    Welcome back, Nobody O’Day. It’s like you never left us.

    This is also quite the start to your Fug Madness campaign. We might have a repeat winner yet.

  22. Sajorina
    0

    If dogs could talk… I like Aubrey, but, come on, she looks ridiculous, what she does to her poor pets should be considered abuse and those nails are horrendous!

  23. Kayla
    0

    I sincerely wish you all could have seen my face for the first half a minute I laid eyes on this monstrosity.

  24. Emilee
    0

    Sometimes I like to show really funny pics fom Fug to my husband, but I think I’ll hold off here. I’m pretty sure one look at Ms. O’Day would be enough to make him gay.

  25. Mvg
    0

    Her parents must be so proud…

  26. Erotismo
    0

    Another erotic bombshell figure that will explode? Is this is how men define sexy and alluring?

    • Sandra
      0

      According to my guy friends, a certain segment of the female population THINKS that men define sexy and alluring this way. Many, if not most, men find this just as horrifying as we do. And the ones who do find this attractive aren’t anybody we want to know anyway.

  27. Isazouzi
    0

    She reminds me of those people in Hunger Games who live in Capitol, away from the realities of the world, and dye their skin weird colors. It’s terrifying.

  28. Sam
    0

    It’s Hazmat Barbie™!

  29. Ms. A.
    0

    She reminds me of Pamela Anderson. Only Pam might be more relevant. SAD.
    Also, Dogs are not pants.

    • Tracy L
      0

      “dogs are not pants.” Oh, I am in tears I am laughing so hard! Thanks Ms. A!

  30. Barbara
    0

    Words fail me.

  31. Christian
    0

    I don’t understand why these people carry around their animals instead of putting them on leashes, or at least in a carrier. No dog wants to be held like that.

  32. zackster
    0

    Why are we talking about this tacky nobody? Gah.

  33. Kara
    0

    She is going to look like a saddle in, like, six months. (See also: Tanning Mom, who looks like a saddle right this second.) If you look up “extra” in the dictionary, this is what you’ll find. The tan, the extensions, the implants, the weird creepy nails, and the using dogs as accessories … it’s all just so vulgar. She looks, literally, gross.

  34. Melinda
    0

    The really sad part is she used to be pretty, like actually pretty and not overly tan and overly booby. It’s sad that she thought getting “famous” meant having to get fake boobs and do all of this other crap. UGH

  35. Victoria
    0

    You missed the obvious “bitch, please” comment

  36. Jules Winfield
    0

    A quick glance on Wikipedia tells me she’s 28. She looks like she’s in her 40s.

    The worst thing for me is the tan. Did she actually stop and look in the mirror before stepping out? Does she not have a poorly-paid assistant who can tell her “you look awful”?

    I actually thought those dogs were stuffed toys. Sheesh.

  37. katkin74
    0

    Anybody get a close look at something besides the nails in the large frame pic? Since when does a person have a foot long boob-crease? Smashed and headed south. Sounds like a bad movie. lol

  38. gryt
    0

    Her legs are that exact ‘Florida Senior Citizen Leather’ color.

  39. Dazie
    0

    I saw a headline that described this outfit as a “monokini.”

    Isn’t a “monokini” just a one piece bathing suit?

  40. angela
    0

    Personally I am more horrified that so many people know who she is – I thought she was a Playboy throw-away – than by her outfit. Maybe if we stop watching bad reality TV people like her would go away. Please. Make. It. Stop.

    • The Fugger
      0

      She has multiple talents – for example, she used to be the lead singer (or whatever) in Puff Daddy’s P. Diddy’s Puffy’s Diddy’s short-lived girl group Danity Kane. And she has the ability to appear on any reality show that aims a camera at her face. Even from around the earth.

      More importantly, she’s also our Fug Madness ’09 champion. (Officially. Solange and SWINTON were the true fug queens from that year, and that’s what I’m sticking to.)

  41. Kenneth Conway
    0

    Is she the one who starred in Russ Meyers’s Beyond the Valley of the Ultra Skanks?

  42. Donatella von Slutth
    0

    Her nails are sooo purdyyyyyyy! I wanna do mine like that, but I’m an unemployment office worker.

    Do you think I cang et away with it?

    donatellasfashion.blogspot.com

  43. Eileen OH
    0

    She’s one of the people I SO wish would go away, and every time I see her here I want to slap her smirk right off her face. I think the best thing we could do is stop looking at her, talking about her and give her the anonymity she so richly deserves.

  44. Lily1214
    0

    Oh my goodness!

  45. spolied
    0

    problems=
    TOO TAN
    TOUTRS HER DOGs
    oh yeah and wears a BAKINI
    ANYTHING ELSE WRONG WITH THIS PIC

  46. Lenen Berekenen
    0
  47. Mamasan
    0

    Did anyone else seem to notice that it looks like she can barely move her face in the 2nd pic?? It actually looks as if it’s painful for her. Oh well, I’m sure it’s less painful than having to look at her.