It was the 50th anniversary of the CMA Awards, and so of course they tapped country music legend Beyonce to perform.

In truth, I think it’s great that Bey crossed genre lines and sang with The Dixie Chicks. Country gets treated like the proverbial red-headed stepchild of music — the one the artists try to cross OUT of rather than into — so good on her for showing up to support it. And frankly, if she and the Chicks toured, I would go to that concert. If I hadn’t been watching the World Series and practically eating my bottom lip off my face, I’d have turned on the CMAs the second I realized this was happening. And indeed, had I done so, I would not have been surprised in the slightest to see Beyonce once again clad as Miss Havisham from a burlesque show called Great Sexpectations. It is her go-to aesthetic; her comfort zone; her Slanket on a long cold night.


I mean, Natalie Maines appears to be in a romper — or formal shorts — and Marti Maguire MIGHT have on a corset made of Kevlar, and STILL all I want to do is yelp a full Cathy-level “ACK” over the fact that Bey is wearing a loincloth with sleeves. In other worlds, yes, the Cubs win, but the rest of the world remains the same.

[Photos: Getty]