The Fugeen


I know Helen Mirren probably feels like she can’t be Dame Sexypants all the time — it’s probably exhausting, for one thing, and plus that notorious minx Judi Dench might be stoning Helen via Facebook or something because she decided it’s her turn.

But there’s some acreage between “Dame Sexypants is on a brief holiday” and “Dame Sexypants has been murdered and replaced with Hyacinth Bucket.”

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (58):

  1. MG
    +1

    I think Hyacinth would have worn a hat, but yes.

    • Karen G
      +1

      Too true. Otherwise, it’s full on Hyacinth!

      • julyol1972
        0

        I’ve always had an affinity for “Mrs. Bouquet” because my Mom’s first name is also Hyacinth.

  2. moi
    0

    She still looks good. Maybe she wanted to show us that she can be stunning even in Hyacinth’s dress :D

  3. MG
    +1

    The ropes of pearls let us know that she knows she’s still the Queen.

    • Helen
      0

      Those are some gorgeous pearls. I love my antiques, but these are much nicer.

  4. lilywise
    0

    Hyacinth — snort!
    But … I do think Helen is kinda pulling this off. Sure, it reads a little older than Dame Sexypants. But it fits. It shows her amazing curves without screaming about it. She’s having a little fun with ropes of pearls. It’s a good length for her. And you can’t complain about that head, especially the little knowing smile. I still give her passing marks for this. (Also love the heel height, which is a bit higher than what she usually sports.)

  5. Michelle
    +1

    HAHAHAHA!!

    “Mirren residence, lady of the house speaking.”

  6. Katharine
    +1

    The skintone (or should I say hosetone) shoes with this are particularly awful, somehow. Oh, Helen.

    • Helen
      +1

      Yes. The dress is not bothering me – it’s unremarkable but fine, and fits well. I’d maybe take up the hem about an inch, so it hits a more flattering spot just below the knee, is all.

      But the matching skin-tone hose and shoes are visually problematic. And I mean that literally – they’re posing a problem for me. I keep trying to figure out what would work better and I can’t.

      • Katharine
        +1

        She just looks so ungrounded. Her top half is so heavy, with the black and that gigantic pattern, and visually her dress is kind of floating on negation, as though she were a rather dowdy genie.

        It would increase the Bucket-ness of the whole, but I think in this case black shoes would have been the way to go, so that the casual eye knew where she ended.

  7. Nonnie Mouse
    0

    Madam, I am INSULTED that you would think I need a hyperlink to get a Keeping Up Appearances reference!

  8. Christa
    +1

    It’s pronounced “Bouquet”. :)

    • Kristen
      0

      Beat me to it!

      The pearls are too much and the neck is too high, but other than that…beautiful.

      • Erin
        +1

        I was going to say the same thing!! I love that show.

        A better neckline (v-neck, maybe?) would have totally transformed this look.

  9. TaraMisu
    0

    I think she looks great…. not red swimsuit great, but lovely dress great.

  10. Stefanie
    +1

    “Dame Sexypants” is going on my list of band names.

  11. CJG
    0

    She looks great. You can’t wear a red bikini all the time!

  12. Rayna
    0

    This is the genius of La Mirren – she is (forgive me) DEAD SEXY without showing off all the meat and potatoes.

  13. GFY Heather
    +1

    Really? Man, I think this is so frumpy and unflattering on her. I don’t want her to wear a red bikini, but she looks so much more suave in almost everything else she’s ever worn.

  14. Anna Svahn
    0

    I need to know what the event was to determine whether this is appropriate. Meeting the Queen? I say great!

  15. AM
    +1

    Always love a brit-com reference! But (or and) I think Helen looks good here.

  16. Marion
    +1

    Yes, Hyacinth would have worn a hat and black, lower heels, but the rest is very much her. I really do not like this on wonderful Helen. Also, I see Helen has burned her hand getting something from the oven. I can’t count the times I have burned my hands in exactly that same spot.

  17. Cat
    0

    I think the pearls are what’s ruining it for me. I’m not in love with it, but I think Helen is pulling it off– but the pearls need to go.

  18. Ann
    0

    Take off the pearls, switch the pantyhose to black and we’re on.

    Either way, Ms. Mirren is beyond reproach.

  19. rowynn
    0

    I love how there are so many Keeping Up Appearances fans checking in! I’ve loved that show for years, but I never imagined the cool and hip, 30-something readers of GFY, (which I imagine all of you to be,) would care about it. Now I wonder if any of you have seen Patricia Routledge’s other show, in which she plays a private detective named Hetty Wainthropp, aided by a young Dominic Monaghan. I loved it too – all the episodes are available to stream on Netflix.
    Re Helen Mirren here – I think she looks fine. I admire her so much that I’d think she looked fine in Vanessa Hudgen’s crocheted pants and a Madonna cone bra, though. I can’t think of anything she could do to make me find even the teeniest fault with her. But yeah, Hyacinth would definitely have worn a hat.

    • EllieMae
      +1

      YES to Hetty Wainthrop! In fact, when I went to see LOTR, I turned to my husband and said “Who IS that?” and he had to click the pieces in place that the guy playing a hobbit was Hetty’s Helper.

      As far as the fabulous Helen Mirren and her ensemble: a lower neckline – not a v-neck, perhaps a bateau?, with a different style on the bottom, and lop off about an inch. There’s something about where the pleats on the skirt (is it a skirt? a dress?) are hitting her that make her seem, well, matronly. And that, despite her age, she is defintely not. Also, lose the pockets on the top. Fewer pearls. I adore those, but I just think they are overwhelming against that pattern. And the hose and shoes, dear god, the hose and shoes. I don’t even know what to suggest – not black, too Bouquet-ish, as has been noted, with this. Perhaps something to pick up the green in the pattern? And LOSE the hose.

    • Jennifer
      0

      I just now realized that was Dominic Monaghan! Woah!

      And if this were one of my mom’s friends at church, I would think she looked nice, but this is Helen Mirren! She’s better than this!

  20. Goldfish
    +1

    The hose hurt me so much…
    And some GFY readers are cool and FORTY-something, and know Keeping up Appearances. But even we 40-somethings can’t get behind the pantyhose. All that being said, it is STILL HELEN MIRREN, and that is all!

    • Helen
      +1

      I’m 40-something, and I get the need for opaque hose after A Certain Age, which it appears that even gorgeous La Mirren has finally reached (look at her hands).

      But these opaque hose are not good. Maybe have them in a color? Or it would help if the shoes contrasted? Or… I still can’t figure it out.

      Hyacinth Bucket was the perfect reference, though. Diana Trent wouldn’t have been caught dead in this. Literally.

  21. Bella
    0

    That’s a lotta pearls, but overall, she looks very classy and age-appropriate.

  22. Lizzy
    0

    I think she looks lovely and classy.

  23. Sajorina
    +1

    I think she looks good for an English woman of a certain age, it’s just not what we’re accustomed to from La Mirren!

  24. glee
    +1

    While not red-hot-sexy-bikini, HM (even her initials suggest that she is the queen!) looks great – the dress is wonderful, her head looks beautiful (always, by the way), and while I hate the nude shoes, the lovely turn out of her feet just shows that one does not need to look desperate to pee while on the red carpet.

    HM forever!!! And her standing like a ballerina ready to take flight!

  25. Heather
    0

    SO Hyancinth Bucket’s dress but HB would consider those shoes trashy!

  26. Zed
    +1

    Now come on, I’m nearer Helen’s age than any of you (though she’s a touch older than I am) and I reckon it’s thoroughly frumpy. The pattern is okay, though far too middle-aged, except for that oddly blacked-out area around her breast area. I don’t know where it was taken, if in Britain it’s bloody cold so I don’t blame her for the high neck, but if you’re showing no skin then you need a bit of shape. As it is, she looks as if she’s gained 20 pounds (you see, I can do American, I really mean a stone and a half in real money) overnight. And actually I think all those pearls on a patterned, high necked dress are too busy. Face and hair and smile, lovely. How she’s standing, superb.

  27. Sweetsinger
    +1

    appropriate for HRM’s royal garden party, in the 50s.
    Otherwise, oh honey no.

  28. Dave
    +1

    Could she have worn some kind of green shoes with this? (I’m seriously asking.)

  29. SPJava
    +1

    Oh my Gosh you are right on the mark! Dame Mirren should send this frock immediately to The Queen and remember it was just a role, it was just a role.

  30. ameliateca
    +1

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2299511/Helen-Mirren-wears-floral-dress-showcased-just-days-ago-Princes-Trust-Success-Awards.html

    This article in the Daily Mail shows the dress worn as some would have liked it changed. Viewed this way, it looks like the pic with the nude shoes actually has a same fabric jacket on the top.

    • Marion
      +1

      Oh, it looks so much better with the black jacket. Better neckline, not so frumpy. Also, much better hose.

    • Squirrel!
      +1

      Thank you very much for sharing that link, ameliateca! It does look so much better with a black cardigan instead of that… same-fabric-overlay thing. The cardi with the embellished collar is especially cute!

    • Emma
      +1

      Yes, I was going to draw attention to that article too – she styled it WAY better the second time. Even her hair looks better. She looks like Helen Mirren’s younger, hipper twin sister.

  31. Noel
    0

    Are those shoes the L.K. Bennett ‘Sledge’ of the K. Middy variety?

  32. Rachel
    +1

    Love the Hyacinth reference!!! And as a hip (?) 20 something reader, I even recognized it. Fug Nation really is awesome.

  33. Vandalfan
    0

    It’s the juvenile dropped waist that is killing me (and Helen), with either black or patterned jacket. The black hose and shoes, though, are certainly an improvement.

  34. Miss Louise
    +1

    I can see Hyacinth wearing this as she serves hors d’oeuvres among the potted palms at her indoors-outdoors finger buffet. On Helen, I can’t get behind it. It’s like her frumpy twin has kidnapped her and is walking the carpet in her stead.

  35. Fran
    +1

    Yet another victim falls to Kate Middleton nude pump disease.

  36. Louisa
    +1

    I ADORE our Hyacinth. But I’m not sure that’s what Dame S. was going for.

  37. cc
    0

    I think she looks really good. Its demure but with a “fashion twist!” lol
    I am a little undecided on the fleshy flesh shoes though.

  38. CranAppleSnapple
    0

    I think that’s the fabric from Zooey Deschanel’s beautiful strapless party dress with tulle underskirt. Sigh. They Fraulein Maria-d that all wrong.

  39. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    I actually quite like this. It’s entirely age-appropriate, looks very English and is even a bit out there in terms of the print and the colours used. It works on the red carpet with a glass of champagne or at the Queen’s Garden Party with a Pimm’s and a cup of tea.

  40. maryse
    +1

    but a giant hat on her head and she looks like camilla to me. the way she wore it with the black jacket and open neck was much better.

  41. royalpriestess
    +1

    Goodness, you know about Hyacinth Bucket??!! That programme used to make me laugh SOOOOO much… It’s sadly missed :-(