Fug File: royalty

Royals Round-Up, August 22, 2014


Have you been wondering what the royals of the world are up to? Let me tell you: NOTHING. Well, that’s not totally accurate. They’re all on vacation and none of them are leaving the house, so we are free to IMAGINE what they are doing, and obviously I have done so. In my mind, Wills and Kate have taken George to Balmoral (this part is actually true, I believe) where he has destroyed nearly every one of the Queen’s priceless Faberge eggs in his unsteady reign of toddler terror, and where Kate is despairing of ever getting to catch up on her backlog of Tatler. Charles and Camilla are knee-deep in a lengthy, summer-long gin rummy tournament, the loser of which is forced to refer to the winner as My Supreme Kissyface, in public, for the rest of the year. Anne has the groundskeeper tied up in a shed and is “questioning” him vigorously. Harry stayed home and is currently trying to figure out how to get a really shocking amount of Pimm’s out of his grandmother’s rug. In Spain, Letizia and Felipe are currently arm-wrestling (the winner gets Majorca), and over in Monaco, Sven is trying to figure out how to smuggle Charlene out of the country before the baby comes, while Charlene is researching poisons…just in case. Maxima is learning how to construct her own crazy hats, and Crown Princess Mary…hey, I have pictures of Crown Princess Mary! We KNOW what CPM was up to. THANK YOU, CROWN PRINCESS MARY. Because it’s so boring this week, I’ve thrown together The Greatest Hits Of Royals Outings This Summer. Hats! Abs! David Beckham! Wills in a scuba suit! Goats! Children! Ceremony! EDWINA! (Don’t ask me what I’m going to do next week. I’ll worry about that next week.)

NOTE: Some of these photos might pop up weirdly sized for you — that’s because of our new slideshow functionality. It will be fixed!

Elsewhere:

[Phot0s: Getty, AKM/GSI, Splash, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News]

react:

Royals Round-Up, August 15th, 2014


EVERYONE is on vacation. Even the Queen. This week’s royals round-up DOES bring you some snaps from Crown Princess Mary and family’s official visit to Greenland, however, and that means one thing: fur pants on children. To make up for the paucity of royals sightings this week, I threw in some additional Harry shots from his outing this week where he was cavorting about in a slim-fitting polo and nuzzling a dog.

Also! It’s Princess Anne’s birthday. I hope she catches a MURDERER today in her own honor. Here are her archives as a celebration.

Elsewhere, I can bring you further delights:

 

react:

Royally Played, Prince Harry


It’s the end of the day. No one is leaving the house. No one…except Prince Harry, to continue hustling for the Invictus Games — he really is working his royal bum off — which this time involves loads of pointing, what looks like choreography, better pants, glorious British monuments, and nuzzling a dog. NOTHING is as emotionally manipulative (of me, personally) as the time he held a baby and made William hold its hand, but we’re getting there and the way this is going, I assume the end of the month will bring us a photo opp where he somehow is found shirtless, washing a car (a carriage?), while George plays with a kitten and Kate is wearing a fabulous pair of striped shoes and holding a shirt that says, “I AM PREGNANT, YOU GUYS!” I approve. It’s all for a good cause, after all.

[Photos: AKM/GSI]

react:

Royals Round-Up, August 8th, 2014


In the slideshow, I bring you extra snaps from Wills, Kate, and Harry’s outings this week, lots of other WWI ceremonial events, Crown Princess Mary on a horse (they’re on vacation, and as ever, several of their snaps are embargoed for longer than I would like; I swear I am not trying to keep CPM from you, I am merely trying not to be sued), THE RETURN OF SADFACE CHARLENE, QE2 eyeballing some Men in Kilts, a peek of her Balmoral living room, and King Felipe in saucy white jeans squiring Letizia in some super sassy pants. AND MORE.

ICYMI here on GFY this week:

Interesting and intriguing items elsewhere include:

[Photos: Getty, AKM/GSI, Vantagenews.co.uk, Pacific Coast News, Splash, Fame/Flynet]

react:

Royally Well Replayed: Wills and Kate and Harry at the Tower of London


This is the second half of the World War I centenary events (these three went to Belgium yesterday; also, there was much pointing, and I hope Harry at least got to have some beer), and everyone is wearing stuff we’ve already seen them in (Harry wears this tie a lot). That being said, today the trio is at the Tower of London and (a) no one, it seems, was locked in, which is always a plus, and (b) the art installation of ceramic poppies they they’re at the Tower to open is spectacular. Per the Tower of London’s official site, “created by ceramic artist Paul Cummins, with setting by stage designer Tom Piper, 888,246 ceramic poppies will progressively fill the Tower’s famous moat over the summer. Each poppy represents a British military fatality during the war.” They’re also very photogenic.

[Photos: Splash, Fame/Flynet, AKM/GSI (xposurephotos.com), John Stillwell/PA Wire]

react:

Royally Played: Wills, Kate and Harry Pointing at Things in Belgium


We covered this event earlier, and I promised that I would not be derelict nor derelicte in my duties in showing you the rest of the day’s goings-on, if people changed. Well, the only person who changed was Harry — out of his uniform, and into this suit. But who I am to deny you a suit, especially given that I am publishing this post randomly in the middle of the night when I am supposed to be working on other stuff? Because it seems like a portion of events involved People Pointing Indiscriminately At Things, and you know how I feel about pointing.

[Photos: Pacific Coast News]

react: