Fug File: royalty

Royally Played: Wills and Kate Watch America’s Cup Racing


Point the first: Somehow, I had this event marked on my calendar for the 30th, so when I woke up and saw these photos, readers, I was confused. Because I don’t know what I’m talking about, as usual. Point the second: as I speculated earlier this week, Wills and Kate and Harry are all skipping the Rio Olympics due to Zika concerns (like Princess Charlene), which I am sure will be the case for a lot of people of childbearing age who aren’t athletes or coaches. As much as I LOVE the Olympics, I have a lot of concerns about this one, so let’s all just cross our fingers and hope it goes well. Point the last: in light of my previous point, let’s enjoy the sportsfaces and amusingly dorky matching outfits while we’re got them.

[Photos: Getty]

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Royals Round-Up, July 22nd, 2016


In case you missed it, PIPPA’S ENGAGED. We covered it fully here. And in today’s gallery, OUTFITS! PASTRIES! VERY SMALL HATS!

Likewise, today is Prince George’s birthday, and as ever, I invite you to flip through his archive here at GFY. PLEASE READ ABOUT ME IMMEDIATELY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. KP also released new photos of him, which we covered here!

Elsewhere of potential interest:

– The Swedish royals’ family portrait has SO MANY BABIES in it. (People)

– Also at People, Charlene and Albert (who, as usual, just called up People to chat) are skipping the Olympics because of Zika. I am sure that a lot of women of child-bearing age (and their spouses, given that it can be sexually transmitted) are skipping because of Zika.

– At The Mirror: 11 royal secrets revealed by that photo of Theresa May meeting the Queen

– The Hollywood Gossip doesn’t think Kate will be in Pippa’s wedding.

Tatler has 10 things you should know about Pippa Middleton’s fiancé James Matthews

And:

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Royally Played: Prince George’s Third Birthday


Today is Prince George’s third birthday, and as is tradish, Kensington Palace released new portraits of his squashy little noodle face. (When will he be too old for me to call him a squashy little noodle? I am MUCH older than he is, so… doing some math… carry the four… add in the nuclear weight of uranium… I see I’ve got a few years left.) Please squee with me:

There is a subset of people who have been concerned that Lupo was, like, SECRETLY DEAD or chained up in the attic or whatever, and this photo is an EXTREMELY CUTE proof of life. George is like, “PLEASE EAT THIS ICE CREAM NOW LUPO. RIGHT NOW, PLEASE. IT’S A TEA PARTY, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO EAT THIS DELICIOUS BISCUIT IMMEDIATELY THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH.”

oh but there’s three more pics

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Well Played, Pippa Middleton in Whistles (and a giant ring)


I was going to save this until Friday and Royals Round-Up, but several people have asked (and emailed) about why we’re not discussing the recent engagement of one Ms Pippa Middleton to her boyfriend, hedge fund guru and brother of a dude on Made in Chelsea, James Matthews (whose other brother died climbing Mount Everest, which is very dramatic), and who am I to make you wait?

The white frock is very subtle, Pips:

Newly Engaged Pippa Middleton Steps Out In London

Subtle, but also cute. (You can buy Whistles at ASOS, by the way, AND I HAVE. I have a Wedding Dress — er, not a bridal gown, but a dress I wear to weddings — from them which manages to be both extremely sexy and also totally appropriate, which is nearly impossible. Anyway. Sidebar over. I like Whistles, the end.) She’s also well-accessorized:

Newly Engaged Pippa Middleton Steps Out In London

I just love that bag. J/k: Obvs, the ring is a real sparkler. (Additionally, I am amused by the fact that, per The Mirror, as soon as Pippa smiled for these pics, she got into her car to drive to work and accidentally ran over her betrothed’s motorcycle. FOCUS, PIPPA. YOU STILL NEED TO FOCUS.)

In other news, Ladbrokes (the famous British betting shop where you can bet on anything) has odds of Kate being a bridesmaid at 1/3. I suspect she will not be, because she won’t want to Overshadow the Bride on Her Big Day. But I assume Wills will perform the ceremony wearing the traditional Elvis costume. Let’s discuss!

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Royals Round-Up, July 15th 2016


We’ve got weddings AND babies in today’s Royals Round-Up!

And in case you missed it earlier this week, Wills and Kate went out to Wimbledon.

Also, a note: Apparently, one of the tabloids — I think Life & Style — is claiming Kate is pregnant. As I have said previously, DO NOT BELIEVE AMERICAN TABLOIDS WHEN THEY CLAIM TO BE BREAKING THE NEWS THAT KATE IS KNOCKED UP. The lower-level tabloids simply make stuff up, for one thing. For another, if a publication ever did get this scoop before the palace announced it, it will be because someone got paid A LOT OF MONEY to spill, and L&S just does not have the resources. Think about it: If you’re a Brit with this kind of JUICY INTEL, are you going to call Life & Style??? No: You are calling the Daily Mail and making some real money for your story.  The only media sources that I would give ANY credence to a theoretical royal pregnancy rumor are People, because they’ve got money and they’ve got reporters in the UK and given their royal-friendly reputation, I don’t think they’d run with something unless they were pretty sure, and the aforementioned Mail, because they also have money and I would believe they’d make the effort to have multiple people on the ground sniffing these things out.  And I would still give it a big grain of salt. W&K’s circle is possibly the most tight-lipped of modern royal times. As we always say: Consider the source. This concludes your public service announcement.

Elsewhere of interest around ye olde internets:

– This is CLASSIC Vanity Fair: The East Village D.J. Who Became the Savior of a Decaying British Estate. For example, these two sentences have, quite literally, everything: “His father went missing in the Côte d’Azur, where he had been living for the previous two years; his body, mauled by animals, with just shreds of his jeans, was discovered five months later at the bottom of a remote ravine outside Cannes. The 66-year-old earl had been strangled at the behest of a high-end prostitute of Tunisian-Moroccan descent whom he had married two years previously and made the Countess of Shaftesbury.” That…has….a lot happening in it. Also: “In 1927, Lord Ashley had shocked London society by marrying the chorus girl Sylvia Hawkes. He died of a heart attack in 1947 at the age of 46 (when his son was 8 years old), before he could inherit the earldom. Sylvia, from whom he was divorced in 1935, went on to wed Douglas Fairbanks Sr. and Clark Gable as well as the sixth Baron Sheffield and Prince Djordjadze, a Georgian nobleman.” I’m just saying. This article is probably of interest to you if you are a person who reads Royals Round-Up. (I also had a moment where I realized I’d already about about this story — in Tatler, of course.)

– Over at Order of Splendor, an excellent round-up of some of Queen Mathilde’s recent looks.

Charlene got to christen a cruise ship! She looked lovely, too. (Whacking a boat with a champagne bottle might be on my bucket list, but this is more than likely not going to get crossed off. Unless I do it on accident, drunkenly tripping on a pile of rope down at the docks.) (People)

– Look at all these Royal Ruby Rings! (The Court Jeweller)

– Allegedly, Japanese Emperor Akihito is thinking of abdicating. (BBC)

Hello! has rounded up royal romances that began at the Olympics!

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Royally Played, Wills and Kate (in Alexander McQueen) at Wimbledon


When I rolled over and glanced at Twitter this morning — right as the second set began — I was entertained to see how many of you had tweeted to let us know that we needed to WAKE UP ALREADY because Wills wasn’t wearing a blue suit. AND INDEED. This blazer isn’t just not-blue, it has a subtle pattern. To which I can only say: !!!!!!!! I must admit, I like it. Way to branch out, William (his father, after all, is considered one of the best [traditionally] dressed men in the world; maybe Wills decided to step it up, given that he HAS looked much sharper over the last year or so). It’s apparently pattern day for the Cambridges — I assume Charlotte and George are at home in head-to-toe madras plaid.

Additionally, some of this below was on TV — John McEnroe told everyone else in the box to shut up so they could eavesdrop, which was really funny. Are you a secret royals aficionado, John? ARE YOU READING THIS RIGHT NOW? — and you know nothing escandelo was said, because Kensington Palace posted it.

I was amused by how Andy was concerned that the match wasn’t perhaps sufficiently entertaining. That is some next level hostess anxiety.

[Photos: Getty]

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Royals Round-Up, July 8th, 2016


Loads of stuff to cover in this slideshow, including an event with Wills and Kate AND GEORGE (on his first public engagement in the UK [beyond popping out on the balcony]) this morning. You guys, we really needed George this week. I downloaded a lot of George. (We’ve also got a fair amount of Harry.)

In case you missed it earlier this week:

– Kate presented the Art Fund’s Museum of the Year award in pink (!!!!) shoes.

– She, and Sophie Wessex, also went to Wimbledon yesterday.

And, elsewhere:

Crown Princess Mary and Crown Prince Frederik are on the cover of Australian Vogue, and the photos look lovely.

– In British Vogue, the cast of The Crown looks glamorous and fantastic.

– Macleans has thoughts on Canada’s unconfirmed invite to Wills and Kate to pop by for a visit.

– In honor of the just past 4th of July, From Berkshire to Buckingham rounded up 10 Times Kate Wore an American Label. USA!

– The Dutch Royal Family took their official summer portraits this week (Max’s head must be okay):

– This looks pleasant. Well, except for the grocery shopping. Send someone out, Mads!

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