Fug File: Oscars

Vanity Fair Oscar Party: Who Fabbed It More, Amy Poehler or Patricia Clarkson

These two both killed it this year, in similar enough patterns that I’ve decided to be heinously cruel about it and make you choose.

Let’s start with Patricia Clarkson:

This is so good. SO good. The pattern is fabulous. It’s a combination of gleaming marine life and fireflies at night. It makes me want to go camping. Which is how I know I need to stop looking at it, because I am not a camper of any stripe, unless there are bathrooms and also beds and tents that are more like cabins, and electricity. So, I’m a hoteler.

Anyway. From that fabulousness to this one:

A bracelet — and a gorgeous one — is a check in the Poehler column. As is the fact that she looks better here, I think, than she’s ever looked, with the exception of the Globes. Actually, I give this more credence than the Globes because there is actually less pressure on this, and that’s often when people get sloppy, but instead she’s in a Peter Som gown that’s unusual and flattering and graceful, still formal but not constrictingly so. Whether you vote based on gowns alone, or past performances weighed against current success… that’s up to you. Consider this choice a warm-up for Fug Madness in two weeks.

Whose fab reigns supreme?

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[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]


Vanity Fair Oscar Party Fug Carpet: Serena Williams

Why are there TWO dresses at this party with thigh details? By which I mean, the thigh IS the detail:

That might have been so pretty if it weren’t suffering continental drift.

[Photo: Getty]


Elton John Oscar Party Fug or Fab: Vanessa Hudgens in Philosophy

Oh, Hudge.

She is so cute, but that thing looks like an infomercial wherein they throw all manner of things at a ball gown and are about to prove it can wipe clean with a sponge.

This is for all you Carrie Diaries fans out there:

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Vanity Fair Oscar Party Fug Carpet: Rashida Jones in Valentino

Her head looks as good as it ever has, but the rest of it is too strong for her.

I wish it were a better-fitted minidress, or something. This is a pretty youthful print being turned into a dated-looking dress. I feel like she’s about to invite us all to a lemonade social where we can watch the moon landing, and the thing is, I actually might go, but I will not eat her ambrosia salad. I just won’t.

[Photo: Splash News]


Elton John Oscar Party Fug Carpet: Rumer Willis

Rumer Willis: actress, occasional singer, full-time celebuspawn…

… animal chew toy?

[Photo: Getty]


Oscars Fug/Fab Face-Off: Meryl Streep vs Amanda Peet

I think Meryl may take this one.

She looked classy, lovely, and like she had a blast. I think that might be because she knew there was no chance she’d win. I had been trying to explain her performance in August: Osage County to Jessica, but the clips stood for themselves; she actually shrieked with laughter. The thing is, I don’t blame Meryl. The movie itself is so airless that I think Meryl was trying desperately to fill what turned out to be a vacuum. It was a fruitless exercise. But if they’d RECOGNIZED that and advertised it as a comedy of accents and bellowing, then maybe it would’ve done better. Still, Meryl herself will emerge unscathed, and rightly, and I still think she’d be a gas at a cocktail lounge.

Here is Amanda Peet, who actually acquitted herself better than usual:

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