We were on tenterhooks for these from the second we got a press release indicating Kristen Stewart would be in Chanel shorts at the Oscars. And I’m sure most of you think our objection is going to be the fact of the shorts. Maybe it would have been, but we will never know, because the primary problem I am having is that these are such lazy shorts. The top of this outfit has some louche rock-and-roll appeal, and then suddenly the music died. This is a CUSTOM GARMENT from a house for which she is a longtime ambassador, and she is a nominee for a freaking Oscar for the first time, and they couldn’t even make her SPECIAL shorts? Is this really all there is? Not even some sparkle, or texture, or ANY kind of interest? Did she sit on a hamburger in her hotel room and have to swap in a fit sample at the last second? It takes a fair bit of effort to make formal hotpants be dull, and yet that’s exactly what happened.
Real talk: If these had been elaborate, would I be sitting here this morning lauding the vision of formal athleisure at the Academy Awards and championing shorts as a gala garment? Probably not; let’s not pretend. But we likely would’ve had an “I don’t want to love this, but it WORKS” moment, or, “I love her for going ALL THE WAY into this,” or at least have been wildly entertained. If you’re going to take this swing, make it a big one.
Herein, Kristen, her fiancée Dylan Meyer (whose outfit might be better?), and the few other black-and-white outfits of the evening.