I promise you, eventually, at some forsaken Oscars in the future, someone will sing a song called I’ve Got the Oscars Presentin’ Blues as a part of an extremely bad bit. No matter what happens in the course of this round-up, I promise there will be no singing.

[Photos: Jordan Strauss/AP/Shutterstock, Chelsea Lauren/Shutterstock, Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock]