Fug File: Glamour

Fug or Fab the Cover: Lena Dunham on Glamour

Last month, she was on Vogue, this month she’s on Glamour. Not too shabby, Lena Dunham:

I’m on record as liking the Vogue cover a lot, but I’m not quite as enamored of this one. It’s not her fault; I actually think her FACE looks great, if a wee bit dead-eyed. But I’m rarely a fan of the “oh god, you guys, I have such a headache” posing and OMG Glamour, we’re ALL over talking about her body so NO NEED TO PUT THAT ON THE COVER right OVER said body. Additionally, somewhere in a hidden room of a gelato warehouse, Tyra Banks just woke up in a cold sweat. She’s felt the presence of neckless cover shot in the universe and her chi is rattled.

How do you like it?


Fab, then Fug, the Covers: Claire Danes and Lady Gaga on Glamour

Let’s start with the January 2014 effort:

This is the third January cover that has seemed very summery to me, so there must be some market research out there that suggests by this time people are hella sick of coats and winter and sweaters, and just want to imagine they’re in a gazebo on a warm summer day, waiting for a hot man to bring them some pink lemonade (heavily spiked). And while I freely admit the weird twine criss-crossing her is super bizarre and bondage-adjacent, she HERSELF looks absolutely gorgeous and I love the idea of the cover. We see Claire so stressed out on Homeland that it’s brilliant to keep to so cheerfully simple and have her radiate happiness. She also looks almost sultry, which is another thing I don’t generally associate with her. So Glamour has managed to give us a fresh look at Claire Danes, without making her look nothing like Claire Danes. Well played. Wherever she is, I want to go to there, although I’d replace the drunken lemonade with something involving ginger. I’m super into alcoholized ginger right now.

I don’t think Glamour fared as well with Lady Gaga:

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Fugs and Fabs: Glamour Women of the Year, Part 2

Good lord, what had that bird EATEN?

[Photos: Getty]


Fugs and Fabs: Glamour Women of the Year, Part 1

It’s so romantic that Colonel Sanders gave his clothes to his wife.

[Photos: Getty]


Fug or Fab the Cover: Jennifer Aniston on Glamour

On one hand, I really wish they’d tried to talk her into something new. Although I suppose it’s possible they tried. I wish they’d succeeded.

On the other hand, Jennifer Aniston’s style preferences are pretty on-brand for Glamour — clean, all-American, sporty — and she looks good in this black dress, the 672nd black frock she’s worn in the course of her career. It’s worth noting that it’s also a good shot of her in general: her makeup is good, she looks lively but natural, and her skin looks fab. I’m inclined to give her, and Glamour, the win. What do you think?


Fug or Fab the Cover: Anne Hathaway on Glamour

We’ve gotten a lot of requests from Fug Nation that we address this cover, and we hate to disappoint.

Let’s start with the good: Anne’s face looks gorgeous and fabulous, especially compared to the droopy dullard Vogue made her out to be. This is actually, energy-wise, the exact opposite. This person has been drinking carrot juice spiked with Red Bull; that other lady hasn’t stood up in three days because her servants are really good at peeling her grapes and giving sponge-baths. Second, her tank top is in support of Eve Ensler’s One Billion Rising campaign to educate people about — and call them to arms to fight — violence against women, and no one can argue the nobility of that message. So good for Glamour and Anne for getting the word out.

However, the rest of this seems like she’s about to pop on those giant headphones, put on some candy-pink legwarmers, and go for a jog that ends with impromptu jazzercise in the park, before maybe getting pulled on-stage with Bruce Springsteen during his “Dancing In The Dark” video. So essentially, she’s 1980s Courteney Cox right now. And that’s not necessarily bad. It might even be Fun. But full of Sex and Style it isn’t. Particularly when I can see her bra — it’s like a dark shadow undercutting her cause’s logo — and those granny panties are bunching all over her stomach. I don’t know. If she’d put on some pants, though, I’d kind of like to hang out with this genuinely smiley Anne. I could even deal with it if she didn’t put on pants, I suppose, as long as she bopped around all day with a Sports Walkman connected to the end of those headphones, because that would be hella entertaining. But I can’t help but wonder why they went to those weird styling extremes when that head, the tank top, and better decorations around it would’ve been appealing without the feeling of being a) in a time warp, or b) being too exhausted by her incomparable oozing energy even to heave the magazine off the newsstand.

What do you think?

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