Fug File: Downton Abbey

Well Played Covers: Downton Abbey on the Cover of Harper’s Bazaar UK


Real talk: I am very excited about the return of Downton Abbey, when it finally comes, and even though I know it ushers in a long period of those of us in the United States logging onto Twitter on Sunday morning and then screaming when we realize that our friends in the UK are about to tweet something like, “I can’t believe Lady Edith just shoved Thomas down that well!!!” or some such. I think EVERYONE is always looking forward to the return, however, hence these covers of UK Harper’s Bazaar. This is the subscriber cover:

Harpers-Bazaar-Downton-Abbey (1)

The delightful Fug National who brought these covers to my attention wished that everyone’s bosom was more amply supported, but for some reason, that doesn’t really bother me personally — it feels kind of period appropriate? Despite the fact that Rose’s sheer is not period appropriate and that Downton itself is no longer in the period that these frocks are kind of referencing. Most of all, I guess I just love how SAUCY Edith looks.

The newsstand cover gave Lady Mary all the real estate:

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Fug the Show: Downton Abbey Recap, Season 4 Christmas Special


I have a LOT of comments about this episode, and they include: Why am I hanging out with Paul Giamatti so much all of a sudden? Since when is this thing a caper? Why can’t Julian Fellowes hire a British actor with a decent American accent? Is it really a Christmas Special if no one makes out? And, finally, why is it that the more I type “Christmas special,” the more I become sure that that’s what Julian Fellowes has named his handgun? That being said, Mary has a tremendous moment in this episode where I actually clapped with glee, and MY GOD, the clothes are FANTASTIC and the entire thing was beautifully shot and who doesn’t love a court presentation and tiaras and balls?!

FINALLY, thanks to you readers for being such an awesome and fun community of Downton fans this year. I am going to try to recap earlier episodes of the series over the summer, when we have fewer celeb events to tackle, if people would be interested, to MURDER time until we get to see the new season, but until then: cheers, and try not to push anyone down the well.

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The Official GFY Downton Abbey Christmas Special Drinking Game


In preparation for this weekend’s two-hour Downton Abbey season finale, otherwise known as the (very seasonal here in the United States) Christmas Special, we present The Official Go Fug Yourself Downton Abbey Christmas Special Drinking Game. You know there will be REVELATIONS! And DRAMA! And HATS! So put on your best evening gloves, pour yourself some champagne, and  please join us. (You can catch up with all of this season’s recaps here, if you need a refresher.)

But first! Some seriousness:  if you do booze it up, please be of legal age and and do not drive and definitely stop before you break your liver/text your ex/fall into a pig pen/get lost forever (?!?!?!) in Germany, etc. We need you alive to comment on whatever happens in this episode come next week (and in general).

BEHOLD THE RULES. We’re so close to being caught up with the lucky folks in the UK who’ve already seen all of these episodes, and that’s definitely something to drink to. I’d like, in fact, to propose a toast to everyone who has seen this season already and hasn’t spoiled those of us who haven’t gotten yet in the US. You guys are awesome.

And now, with no further ado:

Drink once if:

  • Edith cries.
  • Anna cries.
  • Thomas threatens Baxter with vague mentions of her past
  • Someone receives a proposal.
  • Someone gets a Meaningful Letter.
  • Cora behaves like a nitwit
  • Something Intriguing happens at The Very Busy Telephone Table
  • The director cannot resist This Glamorous Shot From The Landing.
  • The Downton Pigs are mentioned and/or spotted.
  • The word “murder” is used.
  • Bates is self-involved
  • Anna references Bates’ tendency to murder and doesn’t seem that upset about the moral implications
  • Thomas gets a vocal dressing down, deserved or otherwise.
  • Something nice finally happens to Poor Molesley.
  • Daisy whines about something.
  • Jimmy is told to shut up.
  • There’s a sizable time jump
  • The Dowager Countess gets the best line of the scene.
  • Isobel does something she perceives as helpful
  • Tom wonders aloud about his political beliefs.
  • Anyone makes mention of modern conveniences (e.g. a refrigerator, a sewing machine)
  • The habits of Americans are remarked upon.
  • The romantic habits of Mary are remarked upon by Cora, to Lord G, in a way that suggests she thinks Mary needs to Get Some
  • Mary kisses Mr. Blake
  • Rose acts swoony over someone
  • Someone name-checks Matthew
  • Someone name-checks Sybil
  • One of Edith’s parents actually notices that something is very wrong with her.
Drink three times if:
  • The Dowager Countess cries
  • Thomas threatens Baxter with specific mentions of her past
  • Someone accepts a proposal.
  • Cora behaves brilliantly
  • There is a sizable time jump in the middle of the episode
  • Someone announces that they’re really in the mood for some good murdering.
  • Mary wears something that isn’t purple, grey, or black.
  • Mary kisses Lord Gillingham
  • The romantic habits of Mary are remarked upon by ANYONE in a way that suggests EVERYONE thinks Mary needs to Get Some
  • Rose kisses someone family-approved
  • Ivy and Daisy act like friends
  • Any of the Upstairs women wears a repeat frock.
  • Anyone mentions Alfred
  • Young Pegg reappears
  • Isobel Crawley gets properly kissed
Chug if:
  • Carson cries
  • Thomas says nothing about Baxter and her past whatsoever (because otherwise what is the POINT of that whole thing?)
  • Mary kisses Evelyn Napier
  • Edith keeps the baby
  • Rose joins a convent
  • Mary Gets Some
  • Edith is genuinely happy for herself
  • Anyone looks as much older as they’re supposed to look given how many years have passed
  • Mrs. Patmore expresses an extreme interest in using modern technology
  • A single, eligible Upstairs man comes to Downton who does not declare himself for Mary
  • A single, eligible Downstairs man comes to Downton and does declare himself for Daisy
  • Tom falls in love with someone extremely rich and snooty
  • Dr. Clarkson gets properly kissed

Drink everything in your house if:

  • They actually find that blasted Gutenberg Bible.
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Fug the Show: Downton Abbey recap, season 4, episode 8


Getting shoved under a lorry is almost as good as getting pushed down the well.

PS: Last week’s recap went up at the last minute, due to Fashion Week, so if you missed it, you can find it here. (The master list of all Downton recaps is here; our MASTER master list of ALL recaps is here. That latter one lives in the black bar in our header, for easy access. Kinda. Easy-ish.)

A NOTE ABOUT SPOILERS: I know you lovely people who live in the UK (and you lovely people who have been watching by less than legal means) have already seen this season. I trust that you will continue to be lovely and considerate and you will not spoil those of us here in the US as to what we have in front of us. Please keep the comments spoiler-free. We all sincerely, sincerely, really appreciate it. Thank you! (It goes without saying, I hope, that if you have NOT caught up through season three, then this will have spoilers for seasons one through three.) And now….to MORE WANTING TO MURDER.

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Fug the Show: Downton Abbey recap, season 4, episode 7


All you need to know is that there’s a slide here where the photo is named DOWNTON MURDER FACES.  We’ve got many a questionable life choice being made, in other words, but also some nascent romantical sparks, tragedy ahoy for Poor Edith, whose name I might as well just start shortening to PE, and some really, really, REALLY annoying kitchen maids. Can someone frame Daisy for the Upcoming Valet Murder that I’m predicting?

Finally, thank you very much for your patience in waiting for this while we’ve been at Fashion Week. This upcoming Sunday’s recap will not be so tardy, I promise!

A NOTE ABOUT SPOILERS: I know you lovely people who live in the UK (and you lovely people who have been watching by less than legal means) have already seen this season. I trust that you will continue to be lovely and considerate and you will not spoil those of us here in the US as to what we have in front of us. Please keep the comments spoiler-free. We all sincerely, sincerely, really appreciate it. Thank you! (It goes without saying, I hope, that if you have NOT caught up through season three, then this will have spoilers for seasons one through three.) And now…to FACES OF MURDER

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Fug the Show: Downton Abbey recap, season 4, episode 6


There’s big trouble in Little Edith. And Bates actually says the line, “I want to murder,” so that’s fantastic for Anna, because she totally needs more problems. Additionally: Isobel and the Dowager Countess are Great Britain’s best comedy team, and Rose has a variety of surprises up her sleeve.

A NOTE ABOUT SPOILERS: I know you lovely people who live in the UK (and you lovely people who have been watching by less than legal means) have already seen this season. I trust that you will continue to be lovely and considerate and you will not spoil those of us here in the US as to what we have in front of us. Please keep the comments spoiler-free. We all sincerely, sincerely, really appreciate it. Thank you! (It goes without saying, I hope, that if you have NOT caught up through season three, then this will have spoilers for seasons one through three.) And now…to WANTING TO MURDER.

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