Fug File: CMA Awards

CMAs Feh and WTF Carpet


It looks like Natasha Bedingfield just happened to pop by the CMAs on the way home from the office:

I mean, don’t get me wrong: This outfit is completely acceptable and cute for a day at work (although the shirt is a bit sheer, perhaps). You could totally go into the office wearing this. But although, TECHNICALLY, attending this awards show is WORK-RELATED for Natasha, there’s no need to so right on the nose.

That being said, she did change for the performance. OH DID SHE CHANGE:

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CMA Awards Fug Carpet: Jennifer Nettles


This was a tough one for me. I started out as a Well Played — in fact, I thought this was Ellen Pompeo at first, and I was like, “DAMN, Ellen Pompeo has never looked this good!”

But it’s not Ellen — it’s Jennifer Nettles, of Sugarland. I KNOW. Tough to tell. Anyway, the color is lovely on her, there’s an elegance there… a reader emailed us to laud this by saying it’s a really hard dress to pull off, and I think that’s true. Especially when I saw it from a different angle, which is when my opinion changed:

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CMA Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Faith Hill


I don’t know how to feel about this dress.

I mean… there’s no there there. It fits. It covers her privates. It isn’t doing strange things to her boobs, o rher waist, or her armpits. But… what is it doing, exactly? It’s a blank, a canvas waiting for paint. Put her in flip flops and and a ponytail and sunglasses, and I’d believe that she’s on the way to the beach in Tahiti. It manages to be both a bold statement and no statement at all. Maybe that’s why she looks like she stuck her head out the window of the limo — she figured, “Well, the glaring white gown will be blinding everyone so I’d better get rock-and-roll with my head.”

Or maybe Tim McGraw’s face LITERALLY blows her away.

Faith changed into an opposite outfit for her performance:

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CMA Awards Well Played, Taylor Swift


I can’t ding Taylor for this — she looks lovely, even if the detailing at the bottom sort of looks like something was accidentally sheared off this dress in a tragical meat-slicer accident:

Is it a little snoozy? Sure. Is it a little bridal? Yep. But she looks very pretty, and I’m grateful that she has branched away from the sparkles, at least for the moment. Not that I don’t wholeheartedly EMBRACE a sparkle — I’m writing this from inside a sequin factory — but it had all gotten a little predictable from T. Swift.

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CMA Awards Fug Carpet: Miranda Lambert


I’m surprisingly invested in Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert, considering I couldn’t have picked either of them out of a lineup a year ago. So I wanted better for her than this:

All the profiles written about her lately are odes to her being a tough broad with a sassy pull-no-punches attitude. So I can’t figure out why she didn’t take a look at herself in this and accordingly punch the mirror. This seems to be the exact opposite of a reflection of her personality. She even said in EW, I think, that she had a freak-out after she got married because she was afraid she’d have to live up to the “housewife” label (not to be confused with the Housewife label, which from what I can tell involves lots of injectibles and an inability to exist in polite society), and that it didn’t feel like who she was, which makes it DOUBLY inexplicable that here she looks like a stiff high-society matron. It’s unflattering and it’s stuffy and I just want to yank it up and let her hair down and tell her to go do two shots of something amber-colored.

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You the Jury: Carrie Underwood at the CMAs


It’s probably supposed to be country music’s biggest night, but really, it’s Carrie Underwood’s stylist’s biggest night. Apparently Carrie Underwood had ten costume changes, but our photo sources only gave us access to these, so we must forge ahead and try not to feel the ache in our soul that we didn’t have a photo of the neck ruffle that looks like she wronged an accordion. Band together and examine the evidence before determining whether she is guilty or innocent of fug in the first degree. Or second. Or even third, if you want. So many degrees.

Jury, render your verdict:

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[Photos: Getty]

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