Fug File: blue

Born This Fug


Nicki Minaj. Katy Perry. Jessie J. Scores of people overshadowing her, criticism over her new single, and the fact that her people ALLEGEDLY put a stop to a Weird Al parody f one of her songs. What’s a poor, beleaguered, mid-backlash Gaga to do?

It should be no surprise to you that the answer is, “Dress like a novelty condom.” And it should be even LESS surprise to you that the OTHER answer is extremely not-safe-for-work.

click if you dare

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Met Ball Fug or Fab: Maggie Gyllenhaal


For as cracked-out as Stella McCartney herself looked, she did a nice job dressing our once-and-possibly-future Fug Nemesis Maggie Gyllenhaal here:

The color is pretty, the neckline is nice, and Maggie pulled out some soft hair minus her usual treadmill wisps. At the moment, I’m feeling it.

this too shall pass… maybe

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Royal Wedding Fug: Tara Palmer-Tomkinson


I really wish you could see the wonk in socialite Tara P-T’s nose. It basically recently collapsed, because — she’s admitted this — prolonged cocaine use jacked it up almost beyond repair. She kept touching the right side of it really gingerly, as if making sure it hadn’t shifted any further to the left. Oh, Tara. You are a delight.

A delight, and presumably a canoeing enthusiast, as she’s strapped one to her skull. Do we think this is what became of Violet Beauregard? A rampant drug habit brought on by years of ritual juicings, ending in her at a royal wedding holding her nose in place while a very cold horizontal Dutch person goes clogging on her forehead? Poor Violet. At least Veruca got a golden egg on her way down to the incinerator.

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Well Played, Kylie Minogue


Oh, Kylie Minogue:

You are adorable, and I want this outfit. Sure, it’s 100% YSL and therefore would cost me, like, a couple months worth of rent. But I’m just saying. If The Secret is real (it’s not), then this package that Jose, my UPS guy (we’re friends; I order a lot of stuff) just delivered from Amazon will ACTUALLY contain this outfit, instead of what I’m pretty sure it really contains (Ponds face wipes, duct tape, organic bug spray). EVERYBODY THINK POSITIVE.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

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Desperate Housefugs


Well, well, well. What have we here?

It seems the Widow Longoria is branching out…TO THE GREAT WHITE WAY.

Right? She is on her way to a performance of the All Singing, All Tap-Dancing, All Navy-Blue Bazooms Over Broadway, isn’t she? This is going to be epic!

What? She’s going to Letterman? Are you sure? Really? Okay. No, I believe you. I’m sure you know what you’re talking about.

Um. Nice legs? Sure. Let’s just stick with that.

[Photo: Splash]

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Fug and Fab the Blue


Apparently, Perez Hilton’s birthday party theme this year was called the Blue Ball, which… cue the dad from A Christmas Story, and we’ll leave it at that. But it’s always fun to see which people take themes to crazy extremes — you’ll recall Leona Lewis wore a mask last year to this same bash; this year it’s Selena Gomez – and which just come for the booze and trot out a regular old dress (ahem, Raven Symone).

Fug Madness 2009 winner Aubrey O’Day is back in resplendent wacktacular form here, with her poofy skirt and neck sleeves and sparkly tube top that may or may not be velvet. Something about the way her necklace hangs there keeps giving me the optical illusion that her top is a bra that has shifted 90 degrees to the side, just like all the hideously uncomfortable and ineffective strapless bras I’ve ever owned. And let’s not forget the piece of skirt lining that’s sneaking up over the high waistline. It’s like Limited Too Goes To The Prom In 1996, crowned with a Chico’s throw. Oh, girl. You epitomize the idea that simply putting on clothes does not an outfit make; sometimes that just ends up with you wearing your Goodwill pile.

[Photos: FlynetOnline.com]

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