SAG Awards Unfug It Up: Jayma Mays


unfug-it-up

Here’s the thing: If this dress were JUST this, I’d probably be okay with it.

It’s a lot darker and more sleek than she usually goes. And it’s very celestially sparkly. It reminds me of going to the Planetarium when I was a kid, or that week in ninth grade when I had to do a class canoe trip through the Everglades — not being able to shower, and using shrubbery toilets for a week in front of all your classmates, during such formative years? GREAT idea; not scarring at all — and I saw more stars in one night than I think I’d seen in all the 13 years prior put together. If we hadn’t been on a float made of giant boats tied together, wondering how bad we all smelled, it might’ve been super fun. Maybe it was. I have blocked out a lot of it. Nature isn’t my bag.

Anyway, all Everglades Nights aside — that is totally going to be the title of my forthcoming Outward Bound-themed perfume, by the way — it was when Jayma turned around that I had questions.

For me, the lace backing is a furbelow too many. And I really don’t care for how it looks like her train began its life in her lower intestine.

Am I overreacting? Does this really wreck the whole effect? How would you change this? Is it as simple as pretending the back of this never happened? Denial is probably a fun place to go camping. Assuming it has cabins.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (52):

  1. erin
    0

    It would have been much better without the lace back, either just bare skin or no opening at all.

    The train didn’t bother me until you pointed out the nature of its beginning, and now that’s all I see when I look at it.

  2. Jennifer
    0

    She is so gorgeous, and I’m glad she didn’t look as twee as usual. I like the slightly messy pony with the sparkly gown – it’s a good contrast. I agree about the train origin – once I read that, I couldn’t focus on anything else in the picture of the back. I could handle the lace if that were fixed.

  3. granny
    0

    You’re not overreacting. It ruins the whole effect.

  4. merciblahblah
    0

    Good. LORD. It’s the worst wedgie in the history of wedgies. It is so wedged up there I can feel it in my own a$$. And the lace? Need ta GO. I LOVED this dress until I saw this photo, which I hadn’t seen before. Sigh. Thanks a lot. I hope ya’ll can live with yourselves.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to de-wedge myself.

    • Claire L
      0

      Haha! When I was a little girl my Mom pointed out a woman who had stood up and had the mistress of all wedgies from her dress and my mom said “baby, go over and tug at her dress and pretend you want to know what time it is”……so I did…. and then my mom told me ” A real lady will kindly let another lady know if she has lipstick on her teeth, or if her mascara’s running….but wedges ( at least that’s what I remember her calling them) and toilet paper are tricky”….

  5. theotherjennifer
    0

    Love that she is not in a pastel or light colored gown…like the sparkles. The lace doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the tail she is sprouting from her bum.

  6. Chasmosaur
    0

    Lace back was completely unnecessary. It’s like Reem Acra looked at Amy Adam’s navy L’Wren Scott dress from last year and tried to copy it, but felt like doing something extra to it to say “Well, I’m not the only designer that can do a skin-hugging, almost-cap-sleeved sparkly gown and slap it on a red head”

    • Chasmosaur
      0

      Amy’s Oscar Dress from last year, for comparison:

      http://gofugyourself.com/oscars-well-played-amy-adams-02-2011

      • gladly
        0

        Seeing that Amy Adams dress again makes me wish that Jayma’s stylist had gotten her more interesting earrings with this. I was very pro-necklace on Adams, and I’d love color here on Mays too. So, if I’m doing away with the back (and I very much want to), I’d like to swap out the earrings too.

      • Chasmosaur
        0

        Initially, I thought earrings would have been better on AA. But I’ve since realized that dress looked amazing with her hair down, so the necklace made more sense. That was a really great dress on her.

        And really, if you had an opportunity to wear that emerald, would you say no?

        But coming back to JM? Yes, while those were some great earrings, something sparklier or at least with a more saturated color would have served her better. And softer hair.

  7. rls
    0

    Evan Rachel Woods wore something really similar to the emmys this year. And looked much better.

  8. Sandra
    0

    The front looks great and I love her hair and makeup. The back looks like what a teen-age Sith Lord’s date wears to prom.

  9. Willow
    0

    the lace just seems superfluous, it wasn’t needed, and the train starts in a very unflattering place.

    It’s a passable dress though, I’m not angry at it, despite the fact it’s doing weird things to her pelvis.

  10. Sara B.
    0

    I will pretend the back of it never happened, because she looks so fabulous from the front. But that awful back takes her completely out of the running for best dressed at the SAGs.

  11. Amelia
    0

    Especially given that it’s winter and seems suitable, I’m actually not opposed to the black lace in back, except I scrolled down kind of quickly and initially thought she had a giant tattoo on her back. So maybe in comparison in my mind, black lace didn’t seem that bad. :) But totally agree that that is a VERY unfortunately situated train!

  12. Kit
    0

    I don’t mind the lace back so much (although I do not love it and agree it would have been better without it). Pooping out the train though? Not good.

  13. Francesca
    0

    She looked incredibly lovely in that dress… till she turned around. “Know when to stop” is the operative phrase here – stop with the lace and leave a bare back. The train isn’t heinous, but does seem to be coming from a place called “butt.”

  14. Katherine
    0

    Don’t mind the lace, but the train….yeah, that’s bad.

  15. Flora
    0

    Nix the lace, and the train placement is totally weird and bunchy and colon-esque. Way to kill a sparkly dress.

  16. Jacquilynne
    0

    I like the lace, but the train really makes it look like her whole dress is stuff into her buttcrack. Maybe if it started higher? Or lower?

  17. Karen
    0

    I absolutely thought she’d gotten her skirt wedged between her cheeks until I realized that was a train. That is some seriously unfortunate placement.

    The lace insert doesn’t exactly KILL the dress for me (it really is great from the front), but it just seems so unnecessary. Like it was borrowed from a different dress. It should have just been open, if she wanted it open. Or, you know, not open AT ALL. That would’ve worked.

  18. sarah
    0

    yeah, that train needs a little finessing. if it were just smooth i think this would be a win, lace and all!

  19. Erin
    0

    Love the front, I like the lace ok, but the train thing is weird. Is that just a bad pic/angle, or did it really look like that?

  20. Jasmine
    0

    I must be on crazy pills, because I love the shit out of this. Even the wackadoo train, even if it could have been better executed. I guess I’m even more of a magpie than you are, J, since the sparkles totally won me over.

  21. AM
    0

    I love the front, but yeah, the back is, well, unfortune. I was going to say something about the importance of underwear, but that’s just bad dress design.

  22. AM
    0

    Make that word unfortunate. Sorry.

  23. Amber
    0

    Lace is fine (not great) but the train is horrid. And it makes her butt look big, which I am fairly sure it is not.
    She looks great from the front, though!

  24. BrownEyedBetty
    0

    First thing I noticed was the pooping train. Front: all good. Back: eww.

  25. Sara
    0

    too much on the lace, and the train placement is just plain awful

  26. TonyG
    0

    I don’t mind the lace back and do mind the train, which should start higher (near the waist) or be cut off entirely. It really does look like she she passed the darned thing.

  27. kim
    0

    drop the lace insert and start the train AT HER WAIST. at least start PLEATING it there, and let it drape elegantly off the slope of her bottomland, instead of emerging from the swamp. gods, i have disgusted myself; my people need me, i must go.

  28. S Battte
    0

    I actually like the back, but I can’t tell if she actually has a wedgie or if the dress gathers at her crack, giving the illusion of a wedgie. Either way – the “crack” should not be the first thing I notice.

  29. vandalfan
    0

    NO SHEER BLACK LACE OVERLAY! I feel like I have to get all shouty, sorry. This would be fine with simple sheer black netting, if it was necessary at all, which it isn’t because it’s fine from the front.

  30. Robert P
    0

    If you ignore the train for a minute and just focus on where it’s coming from, it kind of looks like she’s wearing pants, ie. a jumpsuit, ie. wrong. That’s the first thing that I saw on the back view.

  31. CJ
    0

    The front: fab

    The back: oh my. The dress looks wedged into her bottom and it looks like she’s *a-hem* pooping a sequin shower. What a disaster.

  32. Sketchy
    0

    I think if it were just a cut out I would like the back. In fact I think if for once someone wore an entire dress front and back it would probably stand out enough to be fabulous. And now that you mentioned the train I can’t unsee it.

  33. JanetP
    0

    The front is really pretty, but I dislike the back, including the ponytail. Am I the only person in existence who does not believe in the thing called a Formal Ponytail? Gah. Apparently so.

  34. cc
    0

    It looks like there’s inserts or something right above her butt, it makes her look a little chunky instead of more voluptuous which is probably how it was intended. I still think she looks great though.

  35. Amy
    0

    This would definitely be cuter without that lace back. If it had been sheer material or just open, eithe would have worked.

  36. Jenna
    0

    This is actually my favorite dress of the night. I wish the train started at a different point, but, aside from that it is classy, interesting and looks great on her. I love the lace the back, and I felt like every other dress we saw was either boring or ugly. I also liked the styling with the earrings and hair back. I give this a 9.5 (for being awesome, but, if the train started lower… I’d be ok with that).

  37. Rachael Green-Roche
    0

    Whilst the lace at the back is unnecessary I don’t think it ruins the dress. Its still absolutely stunning. In fact I actually think this might be one of my favourite of the night. Despite being sparkly, lacy and fishtaily it still manages to come across as quite understated, which is no mean feat. Also she’s styled it right. Everything is simple, which stops the dress being over powering.

  38. Ann
    0

    You know, I don’t know what “furbelow” means, but I see you keep using it in the sense of “just a bit too far.” I read it as “fur below,” so I keep thinking of it as something furry and unnecessary down below, like a neon merkin.

  39. Mahastee
    0

    I really thought it was a skirt wedgie for a second… ANYWAY, It’s great from the front and it is such a relief to see her move away from the twee stuff which makes me want to gag. Agree with all those who vote for removing the lace. This could be sexy and sleek without it.

    As an aside, I wonder how much this thing weighs?

  40. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    The woman in the background has a gun?

  41. Sajorina
    0

    I LOVE IT!!! The train doesn’t bother me, but if you’d take it off, I’d still love the dress! I love sparkly dresses & starry nights and I feel like this is a mix of both! The hair, makeup, clutch & jewelry are perfection! FAB!

  42. Meagan Baalman Wairama
    0

    It was OK until she turned around. I thought she was crapping fabric.

  43. megan
    0

    I really dont like this. Its to much for her petiteness, the black is over powering her fairness, her make up (ease up on the green eyeshadow!) is awful, the hair is awful, the back is awful & the train my god!!! suprisingly as I LOVE anything sparkly

  44. ChaChaHeels
    0

    The dress’ problem is that it is over the top. All over sequins with skin tight lines with cut out back with lace overlay with train….It’s a dress that can and should only feature one of those things, and not all of them at the same time. Except when you think about the “train” feature: the bad placement description is an understatement.

    And for the colour? When I look at that gorgeous midnight blue sequined gown that Amy wore (nothing looks better on a red head than dark blue), accessorized with those huge but simple emeralds, all I can see is how this dress really shortchanges Jayma Mays.

  45. Stinula
    0

    I actually completely love this exactly as it is. The position of the train doesn’t bother me at all.