Here’s the thing: If this dress were JUST this, I’d probably be okay with it.

It’s a lot darker and more sleek than she usually goes. And it’s very celestially sparkly. It reminds me of going to the Planetarium when I was a kid, or that week in ninth grade when I had to do a class canoe trip through the Everglades — not being able to shower, and using shrubbery toilets for a week in front of all your classmates, during such formative years? GREAT idea; not scarring at all — and I saw more stars in one night than I think I’d seen in all the 13 years prior put together. If we hadn’t been on a float made of giant boats tied together, wondering how bad we all smelled, it might’ve been super fun. Maybe it was. I have blocked out a lot of it. Nature isn’t my bag.

Anyway, all Everglades Nights aside — that is totally going to be the title of my forthcoming Outward Bound-themed perfume, by the way — it was when Jayma turned around that I had questions.

For me, the lace backing is a furbelow too many. And I really don’t care for how it looks like her train began its life in her lower intestine.

Am I overreacting? Does this really wreck the whole effect? How would you change this? Is it as simple as pretending the back of this never happened? Denial is probably a fun place to go camping. Assuming it has cabins.

[Photos: Getty]