Royals and Randoms: Royal Ascot

How much do we love Royal Ascot? Let me count the ways.

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Comments (65):

  1. JB

    OMG! Does the girl in photo 16 have lipstick on her teeth! Seriously??? Who in this day and age doesn’t check that!

  2. snuffy

    The swan girl was actually in a group of ladies who all had birds on their heads :)

    Anyone else think #18 has a bomb up in there like Velma Von Tussle? I hope so.

  3. Cecily

    Marvelous! Wouldn’t want to sit behind any of them… :)

  4. Ms. Pants

    @JB, I checked the giant original of #16 ( and indeed, her teef are lippysticked. Poor thing. And I think she had the best hat of all!

    Okay, well, maybe not the BEST hat but the one I would most like to wear. The “best” hats are the batshit crazy ones. Who wants to look like a swan is shitting out her hair?

  5. amy b.s.

    did you see the ipad hat?

  6. Stefanie

    This post makes my desire to be British royalty burn even deeper.

  7. Chicklet

    OMG they put a hat on a horse. That’s it, the internet is done. We can all shut off our computers now.

  8. Erika

    Oh, the horse. I love the horse. Also the Marie Antoinette impersonator.
    (However, please tell your tech people that the ads for Drop Dead Diva REFUSE to close, and are driving me nuts. They seem to have disabled the Close X option, at least in Chrome.)

  9. Jessica

    Erika, what’s happening is that you might have your view zoomed in or out — check to make sure your browser is at 100%. If it is, you should be able to close it. This is happening a lot with Chrome. We’re working to fix it, but that ought to to it for now.

  10. Maureen

    Were Bea and Camilla really wearing nametags??? Like anybody wouldn’t know who they are? Zoomed in, it sort of looked like Bea’s said Something Something of York, but Camilla’s was still illegible. Maybe, “Camilla, Duchess of Homewreckerdom” or maybe, “Thanks to Leann Rimes, there’s somone they hate more than I.”

  11. Erika

    Ahhh…much better.
    (I had it at 120% for my increasingly bad eyes…)

  12. Peggy

    The older woman with the fabulous pink loofah puff wore something equally fabulous on the first day too. I also want her to be my coveted wacky neighbor or auntie. She’s divine.

  13. Lime

    I love the lady in pic #4! She is my favorite Ascot staple, I look for her photos every year because she never fails to delight! I have named her Daisy. And she ACTUALLY WORE a daisy hat on Day 1!!!!! My brain exploded.

    Also, horse with a hat = WINNING.

  14. Elise

    The horse! Divine.

  15. jerkygirl

    I love the descriptions of your imaginary neighbors. Now I wish they were my neighbors too!!! The horse wearing a great big hat is a giant squeefest. Also, there are 3 women on this earth from whose closets I would happily risk imprisonment to steal: Oprah, Helen Mirren, and Queen Elizabeth II. I’m definitely not fancy enough to wear the Queen’s clothes out and about every day, but I just love everything she wears from her hats to her jewelry. I really, really need to add “attend Royal Ascot wearing a mariachi’s sequined sombrero” to my bucket list.

  16. Anne B

    I LOVE THESE. Especially the hats-that-are-flowers. Wish I’d thought to wear one to the Spoiled book signing last night: I’d have picked stargazer lily. No one could have stood next to me! Or smelled anything else!

    Notes! I have notes:
    #4: I love her. She’s wearing a carnation: something Hyacinth Bucket (“Bouquet!”) would totally do.
    #9: The most literal interpretation of the “picnic” theme I have ever seen.
    #16: My favorite by far, because it refers to that fantastic scene in My Fair Lady. It’s classy, and she’s happy, lipstick or no.
    #18: Anyone who’s trying this hard to get her photo taken shouldn’t get a mention, but kudos in advance to her chiropractor.

    Honorable mention to Camilla, whom I seriously love for not making her subjects buy her another outfit. You’re a good woman, Mrs. Wales. <3

  17. Cat

    The woman wearing the trilby with the attacking birds is model Stella Tennant – Philip Treacy designed it. And yes it is awesome!

  18. Lynnie

    Kudos to bird-hat lady for matching her dress to the duck’s bill.

  19. Jenna Horko

    I love how the people actually follow a theme year from year. Like the old lady in pic 4, who always wears giant flower hats, or the Marie Antoinette impersonator, who always shows up in gigantic, complex hats (even for Ascot). Her Lady Gaga-esque silver-and-pink cube hat last year was a joy.
    The best thing about the horse: not only do they put a hat on a horse, the giant black and white bow on the hat instantly made me think of the racetrack scene in “My Fair Lady”. When you outfit your horse a la Cecil Beaton, I swoon with delight.

  20. Lynnie

    Okay, let me rephrase. Kudos to bird-hat lady in #17 for matching her dress to the black swan’s bill.

  21. Laura E

    I wish I could wear a hat with even half the elan of that horse. And also, I really want a blackberry tart right now, thanks to that tea party hat.

  22. Kris

    RE: Princess Haya Bint Al Hussein, the Princess of Jordan McSmarty – If you’re not going to splash out all cray-cray on the hat at Ascot, then why bother?

    RE: Liz Hurley – I’m amazed that no one else thought of simply stapling a giant silk flower to a Slinky and calling it good. Crafting FTW!

  23. Cat

    Seriously loving all these royal/British posts. Keep it up! Also, I think the horse at end beat everyone.

  24. Mongerel

    They all look so happy. Even the Queen. Even the horse! Thank you for making me smile this Friday!

  25. anne p.

    Um, “Cat” @11:45 …. The hat that crowned Stella Tennant’s awesome look (a very ‘Stella’ get-up + pink lipstick = yay!) was created by milliner extraordinaire Stephen Jones. There’s a terrific background story on this project at — and Jones’s online gallery/lookbook is always worth a visit.

  26. Jen

    Does everybody arrive to this thing in convertibles? Because there is no way they were able to wear most of those hats in the confines of a car. I’m talking to you, #18.

  27. hester

    The horse hat is the best thing ever. Especially since it kept the rest of its outfit so neutral.

  28. Sara Jane

    The fab woman at 7 is Stella Tennant, no?
    That horse also makes me feel very happy, even though I’m usually anti-clothes-on-animals.

  29. Princess Leah

    We have GOT to come up with an event in the United States that requires the wearing of hats. NASCAR doesn’t count–they have to be hats like these!

  30. Spacelamb

    Camilla has been recycling outfits for years. She wore the same coat three times in one week during her first royal visit to Scotland. Practical, and I’ve always felt a bit sorry for people like J-Lo, who can’t wear anything more than once. What if you absolutely love something? Must be a bummer to have it hanging in the closet forever. I bought a new coat two weeks ago and I’ve worn it almost every day since, one of the joys of being anonymous.

  31. Noire

    The Marie Antoinette meets Lady Godiva meets Modern Faux Hawk is the greatest thing I have ever seen.

  32. Molly

    Is it just me, or does #9 (picnic head) look like Mischa Barton? This doesn’t seem out of her reach…
    I LOVE that the shot of Liz Hurley looks like she has a top hat sticking out of the back of her head, along with the whole flower-and-mesh device.
    I give it five minutes before Marie AntoinNYET falls over because of that thing.

  33. Sandra

    I quite like Princess Haya’s look. Maybe because my hair usually looks like a runaway bird’s nest most of the time. But if I had the time, money, and stellar genetic material to work with that she enjoys, I would look like that everyday.

    On the other hand, maybe she wanted to go all-out, but her order at The Royal Ladies’ Crazy Hat Shop still hasn’t been done because they haven’t finished clearing up back-orders since they completed work on The Thing that Princess Beatrice Wore on Her Head at the Royal Wedding.

  34. Rayna


    Outstanding post, from the sublime to the ridic.

    Come to think of it, they’re ALL sublime, especially your neighbor lady with the pink feathers.

  35. Sandra

    @Princess Leah; We do have a place to wear crazy-ass hats. First Saturday in May in Louisville, KY. It’s a little horse race called the Kentucky Derby.

  36. Nicky

    Apparently the hat in #5 was designed to raise awareness of malaria among UK travellers:
    It wasn’t until I read that that I realized that the black thing on the hat is supposed to be a mosquito…

  37. vandalfan

    Why can’t we Americans have some Festival of Millinery like this? The Kentucky Derby can’t hold a candle. This could be a job creating endeavor.

    Eugenie, I think, needs a stylist, and I want #4 to be my Grandma.

  38. vandalfan

    Oh, yeah, and it’s a heck of a day when the earrings on the lady in #16 can be described as austere.

  39. Emma B

    Is it wrong that I want the horse to be the official GFY mascot?

  40. pinkcheese

    I do love that the royals all had nametags. “Princess Beatrice of York” indeed!

    The bird attack, Marie Antoinette, and horse hats were the best for audacity; the Jordanian Queen is just gorgeous, hat and all.

  41. Libby

    A note on the “nametags”: They are the badges to let them into the Royal Enclosure, seen on people in pics 3 (though they likely didn’t get in, due to her dress length being close to “mini” and the shoulders being practically exposed), 4 (although, i question VBS being allowed), 10 (obviously, though both princesses are wearing them), 11, & 12 (including people in the seated area behind the Duchess), 15 (the gentleman behind Her Majesty).

  42. Aileen

    …That’s not a live rabbit on #2′s head, is it?

  43. magpie

    Liz Hurley is definitely still alive in Australia. We unfortunately know about her every move as she is shagging a very famous knucklehead Australian cricketer called Shane Warne. If you follow her on Twitter, you may notice their back-and-forth and his terrible spelling, grammar, punctuation, and vomit-worthy flirting with Liz.

    Anyway, aside from that, this is such a fun post. Thank you for bringing all of these beauties to our attention!

  44. Kestralyn

    I’m jealous of a horse… Did you notice the eyelashes???

  45. Hannah

    I would love someone to show up at the Royal Ascot with Luna Lovegood’s Gryffindor lion hat.

  46. Jen

    If any of y’all want an excuse to bust out a cray-cray hat, just come to a steeplechase here in Virginia! Though those really aren’t quite up to this standard. One day, I really must go to Royal Ascot wearing a ridiculous hat.

    The horse is fabulous! Mainly because he is not eating the hat the way mine would be, should I attempt to put one on her.

  47. Jennifer

    I think in slide 10 Beatrice is wearing the same dress that Amber Heard has on in this GFY Well Played:

  48. Sajorina

    I’m pretty sure that #2 is what the Pope would wear if he was styled by Miss J! And, I desperately want a balloon umbrella STAT!

    Jessica, if those were your neighbors, I would totally move to your building or street and invite you all over! So.Much.Fun!!!

  49. deee

    Are Beatrice and Eugenie wearing light colored hose? Is it 1986?

  50. witjunkie

    The Derby may not be Ascot, but it’s good enough for the Queen to attend now and then, and believe me, there is some cuh-razy millinery going on at Churchill Downs.

  51. ciara

    O man, I would visit England just to see these crazy ass hats alone. Why don’t we have that in the States? What a waste. And I love the description of the neighbours; I wish I had some like that too.

    I knew I recognised Stella Tennant. I must have her coat.

    @Nicky: I was beginning to wonder if anyone else saw the bug on the hat in #5. I had no idea it was supposed to be a mosquito. Talk about making a statement with your accessories.

  52. megs

    Isn’t the horse wearing the queens racing colours? (purple and orange?)

  53. megs

    Is there and edit button? – Isn’t the horse wearing the queen’s racing colours?

  54. Barb Dwyer

    Damn but they wear some ridiculous hats there. But the big yellow one and the big white one are just brilliant.

  55. Heidi

    God, I love his so much.

    I have started also following mad hattery ( which I hope you do too (I’m unaffiliated with the site, I think it can be enjoyed alongside GFY quite happily)

  56. KennethC

    Can’t help myself, so here goes: Hats off to Go Fug Yourself! Truly wonderful.

  57. jean

    I’m very fond of the ones that look wearable rather than just silly–so pink carnation, the “bird fedora”, The Queen (of course!), and I do love that white hat with the black feather. Definite standout. Everyone looks so pleased with themselves too. And yes, I think the horse should be the new GFY Mascot. George the Internet has been a bit lax lately.

    But the dudes don’t get to be fancy, huh? Too bad.

  58. Loramir

    And everyone over here made a big deal over the royal wedding hats!

    Somehow I’ve ended up rather liking Camilla. I loved her wedding outfit, and she should totally wear it as much as she wants because it’s very elegant and pretty and the coat looks like it would twirl nicely. The colors are pretty too, and you can see it much better here than you could at the wedding.

    Also, FROCK COATS. WHY do we not have events in this country requiring men to wear frock coats and top hats? I am all for making men look like Mr. Darcy as often as possible. If we could throw breeches and Hessian boots into the equation, it would be even better. I vote for frock coats at the next Oscars.

  59. Melissa

    That second one? The Queen amusing herself incognito before official duties kick in.

  60. UnwillingOkie

    I love the Ascot hats but no one has ever answered to my satisfaction how the hell they keep those things attached to their heads. Especially the ones that just basically sit on your forehead, like Bea’s royal wedding triumph. Glue? Staples? Pins that go straight into the skull? Obviously anyone with enough dedication to frippery to wear (never mind pay for) one of these fabulous creations would not mind a little pain to carry off the effect.

    Either way, they are divine. All of them.

  61. AMS

    Love love LOVE Stella Tennant’s look! She is always impeccably appropriate and yet still completely herself.

  62. jenelope

    Good lord, the Queen has gotten super cute in the past few years. I truly love her hats here. And the ruffle in the second picture. And her brooches. I don’t remember being this fond of her in years past.

  63. heathah

    Yes, I’d like to wear a giant vagina on my head, also.

  64. Steffie

    LOL @ heathah

  65. yo yo la

    Is it me, or does #9 look like Mischa Barton??? Doesn’t she spend a lot of time in London cuz everybody hates her in LA?