Fugsey Vonn/Fug or Fab, Lindsey Vonn


First, can we talk about how they’re bringing the (now officially) retired Johnny Weir to Sochi to do commentary? This could bode excellently for my enjoyment level of the Winter Olympics. If I can’t have Dick Button puncturing the dopey non-commentary with cranky opinions, I hope Johnny will at least dose us with some honesty. While also sticking it to the political situation over there.

And that brings us to probable Sochi Olympian Lindsey Vonn, who is making the rounds right now:

That is a terrible sweater. The whole outfit is certainly daytime casual, but it’s also terribly dull, and I seriously think — in addition to being the enemy of hips everywhere — that the top looks like it’s breaking out into meth acne.

She dressed up a bit more to visit Letterman:

Same shoes, I think, and… a better dress? I mean, it IS better, for sure. It’s not PERFECT — the flashes are being handsy with her — but it’s trying, and it’s not unflattering, and at least she gets to show off her skiing gams. Sigh. Another sport that my quads wish I had tried to master, alongside… basically all the other ones. But I still think if her endorsements aren’t covering the cost of a stylist, she should hit up her boyfriend Tiger Woods for a loan. Then again, he might steer her toward someone who sticks her in red shirts and black pants every Sunday, which isn’t going to work either.

[Photos: WENN, Getty]

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Comments (50):

  1. Lynne
    +23

    Johnny Weir is doing commentary in Socchi? That makes me incredibly happy.

    Lindsay’s clothes are dull but serviceable and I’m okay with that. It’s enough that she’s a world-champion athlete. I don’t need her to be super stylish as well.

    • Kate
      +1

      Agree! Although, I still wish the sweater was flattering.

      • Natasha Fatale
        0

        Double agree! And so glad Johnny Weir will be doing colour commentary at Sochi – I hope whatever network is broadcasting in the States will give him some freedom – I think Toller Cranston might be on the Canadian broadcast – at least I hope so…

  2. H.C.
    +11

    not exactly sold on those triangles — makes the dress look like an ice skating costume.

    And of course, bleh on the nude shoes.

    • qwertygirl
      +6

      I was just about to remark that the Johnny Weir remark earlier on was surely no accident, since this looks like she’s leaving for the arena to perform her long program.

  3. Eliza Bennett
    +2

    Outfit 1:no no no no no no no no. wait, what do I think about outfit 2? oh, that’s right: NO NO NO NO KILL IT AND THE BLAND NUDE SHOOVES WITH FIRE.

  4. ryanair
    +4

    1 a banal casual look, with too much hair
    2 hair is better, the dress looks like an olympic swimsuit

    • Erin
      0

      Her hair has made her almost unrecognizable in these pictures. What is up with that?

  5. Christy
    +5

    CREST OLAY PANTENE & BOUNTY,
    Please get to work at cleaning up that red carpet. It looks disgusting and it is making the celebrities give “creeped out grossy faces” to the photogs.

    • HelenBackAgain
      +1

      You’d think at least Cover Girl would handle it! They’re supposed to be experts in making stuff pretty…

    • Jenz
      +2

      Seriously… has no one ever heard of a steam cleaner…

  6. Other Emily
    +7

    As a Minnesotan, I feel I’m supposed to love her. But I emphatically do not. And I really don’t love her boyfriend. I hate her first sweater, which is awful, and I dislike her skating dress. The colors are pretty and suit her, but the construction of the dress is not good. Great legs, though, I will give her that.

    • Lerie
      +3

      I like that you’re a fellow Minnesotan.

    • Other Other Emily!!
      +2

      Also as a Minnesotan, I agree. I can’t help but feel that since she is dating the least date-able person around (who used to be a serious crush of mine), she has lost some credibility as a woman. She does know about his past, right?!

  7. deee
    +9

    She looks like the girls in my small town that go to community college, waitress and hang out in bars after work.

    Nothing wrong with the look but I think she has the finances to be able to step it up a notch.

    • Nan
      +5

      “community college, waitress and hang out in bars after work”- the irresistible trifecta for her boyfriend.

  8. Sandra
    +1

    What’s she doing “making the rounds”? Shouldn’t she be training in Austria or Switzerland or something? Women’s downhill is 14 weeks away/

  9.  breathesgelatin
    +9

    Johnny made his debut on NBC Sunday, doing commentary for the men’s competition at Skate Canada, the second event in the ISU Grand Prix of figure skating. I thought he did great! I too miss Dick Button greatly. Scott Hamilton is NOT an acceptable substitute. I hope Johnny gets a more permanent gig with NBC. I get the sense NBC is trying out new talent – they had Tara Lipinski doing the women’s competition at Skate Canada. To put it mildly, I wasn’t nearly as impressed with her as I was with Johnny. I think NBC has also contracted with Tanith Belbin to do some commentary.

    I believe we’ll likely see Scott Hamilton and Sandra Bezic doing the bulk of the NBC broadcast duties in Sochi, with Tara, Tanith, and Johnny doing supplemental stuff – maybe online streaming content, color pieces, stuff on networks other than NBC, etc.

    At any rate, I’m 90% sure Johnny will be on air on Sunday on NBC for the Cup of China (3rd event in the Grand Prix) if you want to check it out.

  10. Miranda
    +2

    She skipped the World Cup season opener last weekend because she wasn’t ready. Maybe because she’s spending so much time riding her boyfriend’s gravy train?

    • HelenBackAgain
      +11

      Oh, God, I totally forgot she was going out with him. Yuck. Lindsey, you can do SO MUCH BETTER!

  11. HelenBackAgain
    +1

    Johnny Weir doing commentary, I am SO IN. And thanks to breathesgelatin (I have to know the story of that screen name!), I didn’t know the Grand Prix had begun already. Time to do a search and DVR set!

    Anyway, to Vonn here, I think the first outfit is fine. Those sweaters with the weird side things are kind of everywhere I look right now, and naturally this one at least hangs a lot better on her than they do on non-athletes! It’s okay.

    The second, I think is actively cute, and I don’t even mind the shoes with it, but that is a SUMMER outfit. Lindsey and I do have a problem there. But she could kick my ass with one leg and one arm bound behind her back, so it isn’t much of a problem!

    And I’m loving her hair. It’s a very classic, ’70s look, which really works on her IMO.

  12. Tiffany
    +3

    I think she is so pretty! Not a big fan of that sweater, it is too “normal” for wearing on a red carpet. The dress is cute, but I think she could pull off so much more exciting looks!

    • lilacsigil
      +2

      I agree! She’s gorgeous and has awesome musculature and I hope someone steps up to help her wear something more exciting since she’s doing red carpet stuff.

  13. sarah
    +3

    Tiger is a very poor dresser and desperately needs a good tailor. Don’t think Lindsay would benefit much from him in the fashion department

  14. Sajorina
    0

    I always thought she was kind of badass, but now I just feel sorry for her! FUG x 2!

  15. MegoPachego
    +1

    I feel like fancy moths got at her sweater, became terrified of being found out, and called in some silk worms to tidy up the holes.

    The colour variegation is bothering me on the dress. The colours themselves are nice, but they don’t blend in a way that looks … um … expensive.

  16. Diana
    +4

    I think the first outfit is perfectly fine. I mean, is this event that formal?

    Isn’t the red carpet thing getting a bit ridiculous? Like, maybe there should be a red carpet for the Oscars and a one or two other award shows. But not several times a week.

    At this point celebrities can’t step outside without a gown, a makeup artist, hairdresser and stylist.

  17. Sara Raju
    +1

    this thread contains the only ppl in creation who dont actively loathe dick button

    • Sandra
      +3

      Not true at all. Y’all should head on over to Aunt Joyce’s Ice Cream Stand and look at everything tagged “Uncle Dick”. The man’s an icon. He isn’t always polite but he is honest and extremely knowledgeable. He calls bulls!t on the ISU nonsense that is the Code Of Points system–which has made scoring incomprehensible to the average fan and done nothing to reduce the backroom politicking and skulduggery that is rife in the sport–and that alone would make him a hero for many. Add the 5 world and 2 Olympic championships and nobody has earned more of a right to speak his mind on the sport he loves.

    • HelenBackAgain
      0

      Everything Sandra said. I grew up in a Dick-Button-loving household and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  18. Lux
    +1

    No to nude shoes. Yes to her hair.

  19. MollySC
    +6

    I have a theory: she and Malin Akerman share the same body, face, hair; their muscle tone is changeable. If I could get in on that deal, I would.
    My cat destroyed a pillow once, and it looked like that sweater.

  20. CakesOnAPlane
    +3

    i want Malin Ackerman to play her in a movie about her life, still coming up with a creative title…

  21.  Cath
    +1

    I am delighted by the gentleman with the adorable tripod surreptitiously recording/photographing her.

  22. Lerie
    +7

    I work for a high-end clothing line (I won’t say which one) and last season and also this season we had sweaters/jumpers with that same shape. They never sell and don’t look flattering on anyone and I just don’t get it. Everyone is always like, “But, I don’t understand this. What is THIS part for?” regarding the hip flaps.

  23.  jenelope
    0

    Your quads may wish you had mastered skiing at a young age, but I’m sure your knees are grateful that you didn’t! I became a runner after spending the previous 35 years as a skier and all the damage to my knees actually started getting better. Running, the sport that’s supposed to be horrible for your knees, actually made my knees feel better than skiing. Think about that for a moment.

    I have never cared for Lindsey Vonn. So damned much hype before she ever had anything to show for it. She and Bode Miller both bug the crap out of me.

    • MollyMonster
      +2

      The “too much hype before results” thing isn’t exactly true. They pimped the hell out of her for the Olympics as though she were the next Michael Phelps, but that was because she has results on the World Cup circuit and had been on the radar since she was a pre-teen. She’s the most decorated American skiier ever and second most ever decorated women’s skiier in the world. Four more wins and she takes the lead. Not exactly phoning it in. That said, look for them to pimp Mikaela Shiffrin this year instead of Lindsey.

      As for the clothes…well, she is as close as anyone could be to pulling off that sweater–if it were a little longer and a dress and a more distinct color, it might be okay. The second dress, I feel like the triangles need to either go all the way up or stop a few inches sooner. They are in a weird place.

  24. Squirrel!
    +1

    I have no opinion on outfit #1. Outfit #2 is an extra-fancy swimsuit.

  25. Karoline Olatilewa
    +1

    I need to know who wore this dress last. I may not be able to focus on snacks or clothes or life until then.

  26. Shelley
    0

    I thought it was Sharon Stone at first!

  27. luvthefuggers
    +1

    it’s autumn in ny, and blue that outfit is spring in iowa somwhere, so fugly fail fail.

    • luvthefuggers
      0

      eta…it’s autumn in ny where letterman is filmed, and that blue outfit is spring in iowa somwhere, so fugly fail fail

  28. Anna Svahn
    0

    If she has such amazing musculature, why doesn’t she have any calf muscles to speak of?

    • Sandra
      +2

      Because downhill ski racing is all quads, glutes, balance, and timing. I mean, her calves are way more defined than, say, mine, but they aren’t the base of her sport.

    • HelenBackAgain
      +1

      Her calves are in beautiful shape. They’re just dwarfed by those tremendously powerful thighs. What happens when you dedicate your body to this sport.

  29. Jenz
    0

    I lost all respect for her when she started dating Tiger’s Wood. Uh… Tiger Woods. Does she think he’s going to change for her? When he couldn’t for the woman he was married to? Why do women do this to themselves? I get that some people don’t know about a boyfriend’s history for those that do… I have no respect and no sympathy for them.

  30. Laura
    0

    It looks like she hasn’t been shopping since a trip to Contempo Casuals in 1989. She’s very pretty and has a great, strong, athletic body. Let’s hope she learns to dress it.