Fug the Show: Revenge

Yeah, I got REALLY behind on this, as Fashion Week, and then the Oscars ENACTED THEIR REVENGE UPON ME by making me too busy to watch Revenge for like three weeks. BUT THE FINAL REVENGE IS MINE, because I managed to get this done before the new episode on Wednesday [which it turns out doesn't exist]. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Your move, show. YOUR MOVE [you win again, you magnificent bastard!].

Oh, right, the plot: who even knows? People are getting revenge upon others. There were a series of REALLY disastrous parties. Boring Charlotte found out that she’s the child of An Accused Terrorist and promptly developed a raging Oxy addiction. We learn the Graysons were laundering money for the actual terrorists. Daniel is charged with murdering Crazy Tyler — who was really trying to murder him, whilst telling him all kinds of Damning Information about Emily, so…you know, at the least that’s self-defense — and sent to Rikers. He also may be occasionally pretending to have amnesia which is basically my favorite idea since Nathan on One Tree Hill had Situational Paralysis. (In actuality, Daniel shot Tyler, then Emily’s Ninja Master come along and cracked him on the back of the head and then ACTUALLY did the real murdering.) A variety of people were dumb enough to talk to the police without lawyers. Nolan finds out that Ashley is THE WORST PR PERSON EVER, in that she’s leaking negative stories about the Graysons to the press. Emily continues to leave her door unlocked despite the fact that her house is FULL of weapons/evidence that proves she’s Out for Revenge. Collars were popped. Meaningful Glances were exchanged. OUTFITS WERE WORN!

Leave a reply

Comments (21):

  1. Eliza

    So sad to tell you, but there won’t be a new “Revenge” until mid-April! Thanks for posting this one and the one for “Ringer”. R & R are my guilty TV pleasure. Such soapy goodness. Please CW, keep “Ringer” on the air. We need Season 2.

    Thanks, also, for all the Oscars and Fashion Week coverage. I love your site.

  2. Kristan

    “Nothing says “I’m about to try to murder my best friend, after telling him all about his Fiancee’s Poorly Hidden Box of Revenge” like putting on dress whites in a barn.”


    I actually thought Emily VanCamp rocked those high-waisted tan pants a lot better than, well, anyone else probably could.

    Re: that final shot-
    Weren’t Victoria and Conrad strangely… cute together, in this episode?

  3. Annie E

    FINALLY Ashley got a little less boring, though, right?

    Also, did you know in real life Nolan is THIRTY-NINE?

  4. Rachel

    you’ve must have pulled thee old “signed up for a free trial w/hulu+ and just binged all with in 3 weeks right before catching up to the most recent one”. (note to editor: GFY lover/reader has yet to fully read this post)

  5. Margaret

    REWANYEGAY!!! Also R3v3eng3!!!! Thank you for all the gallery titles. These made my day.

    • Erin

      I didn’t notice the gallery titles until halfway through, but I think they made me laugh more than anything else. Love!

  6. Rachel

    Boy was I right, 3 weeks! I’m feeling lucky! off to the casino.

    OH that “Ashley” (5 second eye roll….) yeah they bumped her up a bit. She would be more interesting things if they gave her things to say like “Bloody Hell!” “Potter!” “Mr. Darcy!” “Kate Winslet” “Cathrine Zeta-Jones” “Queen Mother” “Cup of tea” “hats” “Someone Like You” “bugger off” “Madonna”

  7. Ms. Chanandler Bong

    Who is Emily going to save?! Fauxmanda OR Jack. Jack, if you have a hoodie with blood all over it, burn it! And if your “girlfriend” has a wire receipt transfer for 5M, she’s not to be trusted, run! This clothes might ALWAYS be the best, but at least they have a decent budget.

  8. Jen

    thank you for this! (I’m out of the country, and the televised episodes here are at least half a season behind)
    I love Nolan “never wear one shirt when three will do” and his absurd collar pops!

  9. charlotte

    I am thanking you for this fug review in advance of even reading it; I had an ‘episode’ with my 5 year old’s ‘firm but fair but actually less of the fair and more of the just outright nasty beyotch’ teacher this morning and REALLY need a laugh!

  10. Tessa

    Can we chat briefly about Ashley’s hooker heels/hoofs worn w/ extremely hot pants? How is that appropriate for work? Even if your job description is walking around someone’s beach house while making phone calls?

  11. Sajorina

    Pic 16th commentary FOR THE WIN!!! I pretty much love everything that Emily & Nolan wear… She has a classic, timeless & sophisticated style that rocks and he’s just FABULOUS! By the way, I like that window reflected on the TV screen!

  12. Jess

    Gabriel Mann (Nolan) tweeted this out (he loves the R3v3ng3 one). Love it! And I agree with the other posters-it is unbelieveable that the man is 39. I think it’s partially the haircut. Apparently he used to be a model? I just recognized him from Josie and the Pussycats and from Mad Men.

    • Erin

      I had to google who he played on mad men, because I didn’t recognize him! I’ve just decided that I think he is a really versatile actor.

  13. Erin

    I think Emily and Victoria are dressed impeccably, pretty much all the time (although most of Victoria’s clothes are can’t-breath-too-tight). And I LOVED that whole pants/jacket/white tank combo in the last episode with the arraignment. I wanted those pants so hard! I absolutely love that show…it’s so entertaining. AND Nolan’s popped collars!

  14. TereLiz

    Re: venge, I loved E-manda’s little black ninja dress. Anyone know the designer? (not that I could afford it unless I switched identities in juvie with the daughter of an accused terrorist in exchange for a few mill)

  15. Heta

    What really stretched credulity for me was that everyone at the engagement party wore the same color red and white; there were no off-whites, or pinkish-reds, or bluish-whites, or orangish-reds. Did Ashley send out swatches with the invitations telling all that they must match exactly or be turned away at the door?

    How I love this show!

  16. Ruby

    Is Revenge not the most delicious thing since the glory days of Dynasty and Dallas?!

    Love love love!

  17. Ruby

    PS, I stongly believe that EVERYBODY should have their own ninja master!