Note:  Do I even know what’s happening in this show anymore? NOT REALLY. And that’s why I’m going to keep the actual recap so very short:

1) Olivier Martinez used to date Victoria and he had something to do with Aidan’s father’s role in the whole David Clarke thing because every human on the face of the earth is connected to this. (PS Aidan’s back because why not.) Emily does a LOT of desperate stuff to try to get on his good side — throwing a giant party for his charity and putting it on Daniel’s black AmEx (that part was kind of great), skulking around in tight dresses — and I am not really sure why she even needs to be on his good side? Regardless, Olivier Martinez is ride or die for Victoria Grayson (aren’t we all) and does not fall for any of Emily’s actually really patently obvious attempts to….do whatever she thinks having him on her side will accomplish. And he and Victoria hook up, to which I say: GOOD FOR YOU, VICKY.

2) Daniel: no one cares.

3) Charlotte: NO ONE CARES.

4) Nolan: You will soon see.

5) Margaux and Jack: Margaux continues to be the best person on this show, with the best outfits and the best accessories, all of which you will see in the slideshow. She gets offered a job in Rome and is all kind of Lauren Conrad about it because she doesn’t want to leave Jack and Jack is all, “don’t be cray,” and I am all, “SELL THAT CURSED BAR AND MOVE TO ROME WITH HER YOU IDIOT.” Nolan will visit and everyone else SUCKS. Arrivederci, you beautiful fools!

6) Conrad is either still in love with Stevie, who wears something TERRIBLE that I can’t wait to show you, or is in total asshat mode, but he talks her into giving back the deed to Grayson Manor, which is real dum on Stevie’s part. I am also really sad that I didn’t get to see poor Victoria living in an Oakwoods long-term rental situation and plotting her revenge.

To the outfits!

Tags: Revenge