Fug the Show: American Idol, Ten to Nine

“HOLA LOVERS. Psst. Vengan aqui. Do you see? Do you see up here how I cling to Love In A Smellevator all of a sudden? It is because of Randy and his chest pins. Lovers, is he trying to steal the show from me? He knows he cannot do that, right? Stealing is ILLEGAL and WRONG, and it is NO BUENO to try and do it just because I do not have an army of the undead anymore that can march on his home. I might need Smellevator on my side. He might BE my army of the undead now. It is the rule: Keep your amigos close, and your nightmares closer.”

Leave a reply

Comments (14):

  1. Eliza Bennett

    Skeevosmith! Pulled out of a flowerbed! Ay, lovers, este fue muy funny.

  2. gryt

    Tommy Hilfiger was kind of a tool. And, show, Hilfiger, really? His clothes are like Gap with a zero added to the price. Big old meh.

  3. Pam

    I would very much like to see the University of ABBA Marching Band perform.

  4. Minutiae

    “They are the Suckfleck of flowers: One sneeze and suddenly all that hair is a LIE.”

    It’s a good thing my office door is closed, because that was one loud gaffaw. Also, I liked the “super pink” dress.

  5. vandalfan

    “…one sneeze and all that hair is a LIE” Oh, you gals slay me!

  6. Mo

    If only Heather’s commentary were the closed captioning for Idol. Now THAT is a show I would watch.

  7. Amber

    I don’t know where you come up with all of this stuff, Heather, but I love you for it! I could read HOLA LOVERS all day!

  8. Kimberli

    This is one of the best of J. Lo, which is saying a whole hell of a lot.

  9. fiatluxury

    “Where is her sparkle bra?”


  10. Robyn

    If LOPEZ isn’t really like this in person I want no part of it. ;)

  11. Sajorina

    “Keep your amigos close, but your nightmares closer”… Ahahahahaha! OMG, I’m dying here!!! BRILLIANT! Thank you, Heather!

  12. Moi

    I can’t breathe, I’m laughing so hard.

  13. Denise

    These Lopez posts make my DAY!!!! I can hear the voice in my head and just not stop smiling at my damn computer.