“HOLA LOVERS! Did I not tell you? Last week, when they taunted me with a girl who looks like the other girl in the movie with all the lies about vampires, and they put her in pants? And I said NO, just like that, en espaƱol, and then I said THAT IS NOT HOW IT’S DONE, DO NOT MAKE ME COME OVER THERE? Well. I am coming over there.”