Fug or Fab: Princess Charlene


Get ready for some epic side-eye from Princess Sadface.

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Comments (44):

  1. TaraMisu

    The woman always looks so miserable or… like she had some sour milk, I don’t know. Just RUN Charlene!

    The white dress is wrinkly, so it’s a meh….. her make up is quite pretty so yay!

  2. jjdaddyo

    This outfit is not up to Actual Princess Standards. I don’t care if it did cost 5000 euros or whatever. And is Prince Humperdinck (or whatever his name is) keeping all the jewelry locked in the vault until she produces an heir? Your peasants expect to see some glam, you’re letting them down!
    Jessica, you and some friends need to take her out to 2 for 1 strawberry margarita night at the Applebee’s in Monaco and get her talking about Prince Albert’s Prince Albert, or whatever. She looks like she needs a weekend in Vegas.

    • Scouse Helen

      She really does need a weekend in Vegas (or Blackpool, the downmarket British equivalent) doesn’t she?

      Her frock is better than some of the boring beige stuff she trots out. If I were married to a potato I’d probably look fed up, too……..

      • LoriK

        The main reason that she needs a weekend in Vegas is that Vegas is in the US, i.e. not in Monaco. Once she was out she could simply refuse to return.

    • Julie

      Hugely funny.

  3. pidget

    Prince A. looks like an oaf, and Charlene is willing herself away again. She is so consistently unhappy-looking that something MUST be up. She’s a princess of Monaco – whither the cheery glam?

  4. AM

    I’ve said it before, but she looks great and usually does, albeit a bit pained. Him, I just don’t get. I remember back in the good old days when he was princely hotness. Now, he’s your neighbor or dentist. I mean I know he’s a prince, but that will only take you so far! And I’m not seeing great personality from him!

  5. Tamburlaine

    She looks lovely, and she’s really working the dress. Shame it’s a bit wrinkled, but otherwise well-played!

    • TonyG

      Agreed. Extra points for the collar on the halter top portion of the dress.

      • Deborah Stultz

        Also agreed. If I had her swimmer’s upper body, I would be flaunting my shoulders and arms in a halter all the time.

      • Sarah

        See, and I think the halter is super unflattering. She DOES have gorgeous arms and shoulders, but I think the halter shape makes them look huge and out of proportion to her head. I think a tank style top would be so much more flattering.

        • Lindy

          Totally agree that a halter is not that flattering on larger shoulders. I have those same broad shoulders, so I know this isn’t something that works. Halters and strapless only emphasize their width.

          If she insists on wearing a halter, then she has to wear her hair down to compensate or else she runs the risk of looking like a pinhead.

        • lilywise

          I agree — she’s a swimmer, and her shoulders have that gorgeous tone (see: Dara Torres). But a halter cut makes her shoulders look huge in comparison to the rest of her. Plus this satin looks wrinkly and sad. I think it’s a coded message for how she feels trapped there with Prince Douche.

        • annie

          Agreed! Someone has obviously told her the halter is flattering (Laggerfeld?) but it just isn’t. It makes her look huge on top with a pinhead- completely out of proportion. And a little color somewhere please.

  6. Minda

    The dress is pretty. And the woman has amazing shoulders, so it makes sense that she wants to show them off. But her clothes, even when not verging into Wackadooville, still feel off. I have decided it’s because she has that swimmer’s body with super strong shoulders and back and small hips, but she dresses one and ignores the other to her detriment. And she is such a beautiful woman, she deserves to look beautiful all over, not just from the waist up.

  7. PB

    She’s a princess and all, but she looks like she is saying “How did I get trapped in this gilded cage with a short schlub for a husband? I am tall and beautiful and I once had dreams of my own. Somebody please save me.”

    As for the second photo, are you joking when you say that her makeup is minimal? From where I am sitting, it looks pretty heavy — especially the sad, racoony eyes.

  8. glee

    I am not sure that topline is doing her any favors – makes her shoulders look really broad. And ladies and gents who are hot on Harry – he will become Albert one day… (who used to be really hot in the days. Like remember when Stephanie was trying to be a singer?)

  9. Carolina Girl

    Way back in 1994, I was in a bad relationship and feeling pretty horrible about my life. Looking at photos from that time period, all I wore were dark colors (black, navy, black, maroon, and black) and had the most depressed look on my face. I finally perked up my wardrobe, kicked Mike Wiseltier to the curb and enjoyed living in New York City. Princess SadFace reminds me of 1994 me. She really needs to perk up her wardrobe, ditch that short, fat schlub and embark on an affair with Hot Security Guy. Stat.

  10. StephLeo

    The Prince looks like he is wearing a very tight corset; one sneeze or hiccup and buttons and laces will be flying.

  11. Emsipoops

    Can no-one else see her right nipple sending signals for rescue?

  12. Mia

    Makeup is very pretty, but halter makes her shoulders look ginormous, and the dress is wrinkled. Fug.

  13. Sandra

    Even captive princesses need good support garments. She has got awesome arms and shoulders, but she still needs a bra, like every other 30-something woman in the world.

  14. Fifie

    She looks like she could kick his ass.

  15. Christy

    I seriously HAVE to stop reading this at work – it’s too quiet, and things sneak up on me that make me literally LOL. That last slide is priceless. Also – big thumbs up for the “Toonces the Driving Cat” reference with Tami Taylor. I had that song in my head for 2 days. :)

  16. Helen

    It’s too bad about how satin wrinkles, but overall I think this is VERY glam, and suits her beautifully.

    Being a broad-shouldered girl myself, I, like many above, would generally not recommend a halter for this build. But there may be exceptions to any such rule, and in my opinion this is one of them. Her shoulders look beautiful, because they are, and the neckline detail draws in the eye to her face and neck, making a portrait effect. I think this particular halter works very well on her.

    If only she looked happy, or even just not miserable, the total effect would be perfectly smashing.

    I swear I think I read a Judith Krantz novel about this woman when I was a teenager…

    • mtl

      speaking of build, she and the prince look like they kingdom by day and secret superhero by night. but if i came down to it, she could take the prince with one arm.

  17. kickassmomnyc

    Poor Charlene, she often seems on the verge of tears and it makes me sad. Many many moons ago, Albert was attractive and dare I say even a bit sexy, resembling his mother and the handsome Kellys more than his sisters, who have the Grimaldi look. There was always speculation about his gender preference and does anyone know about that? Maybe that’s why Charlene is sad. It’s not possible for a high-level prince to come out, even today. Either way, he’s let himself go and looks like boring Prince Potato.

    • glee

      With all the little Grimaldis running around vying for Albert’s inheritance (or his attention, rather)? Not likely.

  18. yazzo

    She looks especially sad here. WHY? Let us help you help yourself, Princess!

  19. Eli

    If I didn’t know better, I would think she was giving the “stay away from my man” sideeye. But given her attempts to flee and the fact that Albert is a little bald troll, I can’t imagine that is it.

  20. Megaera

    The swimmer’s shoulders–not so much with the halter top. I love her short hair. LOVE.

  21. chickadee

    At the risk of sounding cold, I’m over Princess Sadface’s, well, sadface. She’s a grown woman. I realize he’s a prince and has money and that means he has power, but she’s a grown woman and if she is unhappy she needs to leave using any means necessary. She said the vows. If I really did not want to be married to someone as badly as she seems to not want to be married to him, I think I’d rather die than actually go through with it and say the words. If she isn’t going to leave, she needs to slap on a smile because there are people in the world with WAY bigger issues and problems than being married to an unattractive, boring prince. If she just has chronic bitchface and is actually happy, someone needs to pull her aside and tell her that her bitchface makes it look like she really, really hates her husband.

  22. Vandalfan

    Amen to telling her to suck it up. Others have complained that her shoulders looked broad, but I never saw it before. Perhaps it is her posture?

  23. mochaleet

    Wow I just looked into Prince Albert pix from his day, and wow he actually WAS good looking. http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/prince-albert?before=1347137420 Goes to show you, character is, if not everything, a whole lot.

  24. Franziska

    No, I don’t think that dress does her any favours, it makes her shoulders look broader than they are. She’s very pretty, isn’t she? In the 3rd picture she looks almost a bit envious of the other woman. Like “what’s it like to be free”…

  25. Sajorina

    Oh, Sadface… Your dress is FINE, very Sharon Stone-esque!

  26. Esme

    I love that dress–looks like something Carole Lombard would have worn. Very elegant. Such a shame she’s a victim of white slavery though.

  27. JanetP

    She needs to stop with the halter tops and stop with the black eyeliner, or at least invest in a better under-eye concealer for when it runs. A sleeveless dress with a deep V, perhaps in an emerald green, her hair down for a change …

    Her earrings are lovely, though!

  28. JanetP

    OMG, I just looked at that Tumblr someone posted above, and Albert looks JUST LIKE he did when he was about 5! Scroll down to “National Monaco Day”, 1968. Freaky.

  29. Lily1214

    The camera angle is atrocious. Umm . . . she’s wearing Dana Buchman again.

  30. Emma

    I think halter-necks accentuate her impossible broad shoulders. I’d be minimising them.

  31. Emma

    Sorry, I meant “impossibly broad.”

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