There’s something about the boldness of this that appeals to me.

But between the color and the jagged cutouts — slimming though they are — I keep hallucinating that I’m driving in a foreign country and have come across a road sign that’s desperate to warn me about SOMETHING, but because I don’t speak the international language of caution, I can’t suss it out. That story will probably end in tears.

This one didn’t:

Then again, “looks good with jacket over it” is not a useful criteria on which to judge a gown. LOTS of things look great when you can’t see them. Like me, right now. If you were to pop by my house with a Diet Coke, you’d be like, “Huh, that SPAM t-shirt, and your face, were a lot nicer when I wasn’t looking at them.”  Now if you’ll pardon me, I’ll leave you with a poll while I go apologize to my face for being mean to it. If it would just stop WRINKLING…

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[Photo: Getty]