Poor Natasha Bedingfield. I’m sure she’s still paying her mortgage with residuals from her song being the theme to The Hills, but Ellie Goulding seems to have stepped up as the new British Bleached-Blonde Purveyor Of Dance Music With Bad Taste In Clothes. That must be hard.
Not that Natasha has given up trying. This effort is, in fact, strenuous and admirable. It’s flagrantly fugtacular, it’s serving up twin pancakes, it’s boxy, it’s got netting… it’s everything you’d want in picking a dress to remind people whose Throne of Ignominy it was FIRST.
Sly trick, refusing to stand up straight in it — so that she doesn’t just look like a highlighter, but one that started melting in your locker. It’s your move now, Goulding. Are you game?