Fug or Fab: Gwyneth Paltrow

Well, right off the bat, this is so much better and less desperate-seeming than some her Iron Man iron-buttocks couture. I like it when Gwyneth can relax into being Gwyneth (see also: looking so freaking chill in that Tom Ford cape at the Oscars).

This dress is crisp and fine, and a very grown-up length that she’s still basically pulling off without flirting with (Won’t You Take Me To) Stumpytown. It’s a lovely end-of-summer feeling, and you can imagine her going home and sitting in a deckchair on a bluff at sunset, a perfectly chilled pinot grigio in her hand while she eats grapes and cheese and then puts on one of Chris Martin’s cardigans.

However, I’m not thrilled about how she accessorized it. Specifically, that she didn’t. It’s NAB, for sure, but also possibly NAN (“necklace”) or NAB II (“belt”) or NASEBINSW (“something else but I’m not sure what”). Relaxing into being Gwyneth is one thing, and it’s a lovely thing; forgetting you are freaking GWYNETH is another. You know she HAS a bunch of badass bangles in that jewelry box. Get ‘em out, GOOP, and then write a newsletter piece on how to use them and where to find a great deal on bespoke reclaimed metal pieces that are a low low $700 each.

Speaking of relaxing:

I thought you should know it has pockets. Does that change your feelings?

But seriously, that is some flawless freaking makeup. Her head looks phenomenal. The Tim Robbins perched on her shoulder agrees. And if actual Tim Robbins were perched on her shoulder, he would probably STILL agree.

But the overall look is...