Fug or Fab: Fergie


On one hand, I kind of like this:

On the other hand, should you REALLY be wearing a dress where a palm tree emerges from your cleavage, as though your Lady Lumps are actually the Hollywood Hills? I am doubtful.

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Comments (46):

  1. namidu

    Forget the top half – the most comical/awkward area is clearly where it looks like the curtains are parting to give us a view of the sunset over her lady parts.This dress is straight up weird.

  2. Pat

    Not to mention the palm tree tickling her lady parts. Personally I wouldn’t want a palm tree tickling my lady parts.

  3. em

    Even her face is all “What can I say? It’s awful. Where’s the bathroom so I don’t re-pee myself in public.”

  4. cas_esq

    Her dress looks like the cheesy photo backdrop at a teen dance.

  5. Shiitake

    Hotel California.

  6. qwertygirl

    Too bad if the “ugh it’s terrible” vote wins it won’t force her to…I was going to say take it off, but that’s not extreme enough. I want her to burn it. It’s hideous and should be outlawed.

  7. Gigi

    The sun sets on Fergie’s lady cave? I feel like that’s a wormhole we shouldn’t be invited to travel down. And besides, everyone knows the sun sets on Grace F’ing Jones’s lady holler!

  8. Esmerelda

    Okay…yes, the landscape print on the dress is not a good idea. In fact, it is a TERRIBLE idea. BUT…if the dress was a v-neck instead of palm trees and the bottom was a solid color, or perhaps a subtle all over print we’d be in business. Everything fits, which is a bit of an accomplishment for Miss Fergie here. Well, the sleeves are a bit long, but close enough. I like the proportion of the blazer over the dress. I love the crisp white with the dark dress. I love the pop of orange with the shoes. For me this is a *close, but not quite*.

  9. Bella

    If ever anyone needed to cut her hair … she is a mess.

    • liz

      agreed. a mess in a palm-tree-tickling-lady-parts dress.

    • Lisa

      I completely agree. I can hardly look at what she’s wearing (and it’s hideous) because her hair bothers me so much.

  10. Angela

    … can’t … stop … looking … at her lady parts.

    • McLisa

      That’s because they’re glowing in a sort of nuclear way… I’m also getting a Miami Vice vibe from the tickling palm fronds.

  11. neiges

    I am on the “it’s terribe” train but the “ugh” definitely goes to the neon lady parts.

  12. holly

    The fact that the skin in her thigh area is getting saggy makes me feel a lot better about my equally if not more so saggy leg skin. getting older sucks. solidarity!

  13. DanerKebab

    I could get behind this if it didn’t look like she’d drawn a curtain over a dress to pretend it’s something else. Or, if it were just the curtain and not also a blazer. It almost looks bulky.

    However, I would very much like to borrow her shoes.

  14. Jasmine

    I really like her hair here, I was just going to say it looks healthy and not scraggly and really shiny! I definitely agree about making it a v-neck.. then we’d be in business. I like it in theory, just not in execution.

  15. Improbable Joe

    I’m afraid of her knees.

    • mary lou bethune

      Yes, her knees and indeed her legs are not looking too good.

  16. Jennifer
  17. fiatluxury

    She’s got palms in her oasis! I’m agin’ it.

  18. Lily

    Let’s just be grateful the bottom palm isn’t a mirror image of the top, i.e hanging upside down. What on earth would THAT symbolize?

  19. HW

    I keep feeling like there should be a few Bible quotes on the sunsets…
    Like that “Footsteps In the Sand” thing.. I dunno, it just makes me think of inspirational posters.. Is that weird? And yes, crotch palms are the very first thing one’s eye goes to.

  20. Ladyblahblah

    This is what a very bad hangover looks like. Possibly I feel this way because it’s exactly what I’d have put together for work on a Friday morning in the mid-80′s after coming in from an all-nighter and choosing my outfit entirely from dirty clothes left on the floor by my roommates of various genders, sizes, and taste levels.

  21. Jen

    This is beyond hideous, with the curtains parting down below, and the tree making her cleavage look hairy. This will HAVE to be included on Fergie’s run in next year’s Fug Madness.

  22. vandalfan

    I like the palm tree print, but not duplicated. If it was just on top, or just on the bottom, but without the side of the skirt parted like dramatic theater curtains, I’d get on board. But not with pointy shoulder pads, ‘k?

  23. SaraK

    I am very worried about Jessica. Could she have hit her head on something, or downed a can of past-its-expiration-date Diet Coke? How else could a vagina bay window with crotch palms and Hollywood Hills glowing sunset Lady Lumps be anything other than High Fug?

    This is not a Fug-or-Fab, it’s a brilliant opening salvo for the 2013 Fug Madness. Fergie’s gonna take it in a landslide. The woman is playing for keeps this time.

    • Jennifer E.

      agreed. i was concerned at the original post until i saw that ALL commenters shared my abhorrence at the crotch zone, and many had also not noticed the bosum sunset until it was mentioned. Jess, Jess, are you ok?

  24. ChaChaHeels

    That print is straight out of a 1970′s travel van paintjob.

  25. Olivia

    The first thing I thought when I saw this was that she appears to be birthing a palm tree. Maybe if instead of that weirdness, the skirt was all black, then maybe, maybe it would be okay.

  26. Sajorina

    I’d love it without the white jacket, that’s what ruins it for me! The dres is fun & whimsical! And, those shoes are from her own line and cost just $70! Nice, right? 1/2 FAB!

  27. Linda

    Vagina Tree!!!

    I’m really worried that the really dark area where the lower torso curtain parts isn’t just her black bikini undergarment accidentally showing thru the flesh colored fabric, and I’m throwing up in my mouth a little.

    Overall, she is getting a little rough looking. I know we aren’t supposed to wear stockings any more, but I think Kate Middleton has the right idea, no one’s knees are attractive, so get a good spray tan, or put on a pair of ultra sheer stockings.

    ITA, she needs a hair cut, and a mirror.

  28. katkin74

    The bottom is ok; the top half is ick. I looked at first and asked myself when Fergie got a tattoo of a palm tree on her chest. Then realized it was actually a dress. That’s NEVER a good thing, when someone thinks you got a tattoo on your chest at first glance. If it were actually sweetheart-neckline in nature, it could be “ok”. Not great, but ok.

  29. Ms.A

    I got a Miami crackshack hotel wallpaper vibe from this. I don’t understand the white jacket or the bright orange shoes either.

  30. d.j.

    the first thing that caught my eye were her legs – they really don’t look good. So it’s about time to cover up those thighs – and knees!! The dress is just one big mess, bot the bottom and top

  31. Lily1214

    Tell us the truth . . . do you Really like those orange shoes??

  32. Kasey

    I actually like the dress……what I don’t like is where it hits her, like me she has “larger”/”fatty” knees and we must hide those at all times ALL TIMES!