Fug or Fab: Angelina Jolie


fug-or-fab

Look, we really need to work on Angelina’s feet now. She’s starting to break out of her billowy rut, but her shoes are duller than Ivanhoe. On the one hand, yes, it’s great that she’s not cutting off the circulation or wearing something that jacks her pinky toe so far off to the side that it’s practically a thumb.

But on the other, eight times out of ten they’re dowdy satin snoozefests — including at the Globes, when she otherwise rocked some serious, if slightly stiff, glamour. It deserved better than white satin hooves, and this is being similarly robbed of its full potential. How is it possible that Angelina Jolie almost always seems to dress without joy? Has she SEEN herself? If I were in that body, I would bring more heat than a SWAT team.

All that said, I do appreciate that this is interesting, and in fact I don’t hate it. Although I can’t figure out the back:

Is that… a corset we’re seeing under there? Or a back brace? Or a giant Icy Hot wrap? I mean, the bottom half of that back has a white underlay, right? Or is it just one thin white bra strap going across the back, and I’m imagining the rest? Or… are my eyes going altogether? Did the Golden Globes fry me? Dear God. It’s too early for me to be a confused husk.

But the dress!

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

[Photos: Getty]

react:
Leave a reply

Comments (80):

  1. Liz
    0

    It’s a bra strap.

    A white bra strap with a black, sheer back dress.

    • Joyce
      0

      OMG you’re right… it IS a white bra strap with a black, sheer back dress.

  2. Gigi
    0

    A white bra!? I feel like I have to assume a gal’s mother died in childbirth and there was no older woman around to pass on The Wisdom of the Nude Colored Bra (and Other Underthings). Given that it kinda seems like Angie tries very hard to not look like she cares that much about appearances at glam events, maybe this is a natural extension of such an attitude? Maybe we should just be glad that there’s underwear there, at all (ie., Alexandra Kerry). But mostly, here, she looks good. I can accept the shoes.

    • me
      0

      I agree – in almost every appearance Jolie seems to have spent a lot of time and effort on looking like she did not spend a lot of time and effort on her looks! And I also think after Kate Middleton came into the limelight big time, Jolie has been copying some things from Kate especially in the hairstyle department! Anyone else thinks she maintains that stiffness cause a. Maybe that’s her real personality and b. Botox overload? Her forehead vein does pop out something awful when she does smile.

      • Dru
        0

        If HD candid shots of her face are anything to go by, she has fine lines and stuff around her eyes – the kind of thing Botox should have erased, if she was using it.

        But as for the forehead thing, I didn’t know Botox caused that! My own forehead does the vein-pop-when-smiling thing too, and has been doing it since I was a CHILD.

  3. CJ
    0

    I think it’s a bra strap. I doubt it’s white — she’s been doing the red carpet too long to make that mistake. I’m guessing it was flesh tone, but just off enough that under the zillion lights at the press event, it looks lighter than it should.

    Still, she looks amazing. Gorgeous dress, perfect accessories, perfect hair and makeup. And I wouldn’t call the shoes boring…I’d call them classic.

    Fug the undergarment, but she knocked it out of the park with everything else.

    • anny
      0

      No, I’m pretty sure it’s white.

      • Carolina Girl
        0

        Either way, why didn’t they just build a foundation garment into the dress? It can be done. I have a dress that I wore to a friend’s wedding last summer and when I tried it on in the store I realized that my bra would show. I took the dress to a tailor and he inserted cups into the lining that acted like a bra. My girls were wrangled and no one was the wiser.

  4. vandalfan
    0

    I’m glad the sleeves are not flocked velvet, like the wallpaper in a pizza parlor, but merely (yawn) sheer lace overlay. Her hair is beautiful, but she always wears dresses, and has facial expressions, that are a boring snooze to me, as if she’s so darn beautiful she has to tone it down or we mere mortals would be turned into pillars of salt by merely looking at her.

  5. wtfnyc
    0

    Except the shoes. She always falls down in the shoe department. Also: the not-sleeping-with-other-people’s-husbands department. And the not-wearing-my-creepee-second-husband’s-blood-around-her-neck department.

    Excellent dress, though.

  6. llism
    0

    AngJo, please take smiling lessons from Elizabeth Olsen. The issue of clothing aside, you always look so smarmy that I want to deck you. If it’s such a chore to go out in public, then don’t. Crikey.

  7. wtfnyc
    0

    (Please ignore the pronoun fail above. Thankfully, Billy Bob D-bag was NOT “my” second husband. Or my first. Just to be clear.)

  8. Esmom
    0

    Wow, she looks exactly like Kate Middleton from the back. Same uber-skinny build. I like the dress a lot and her hair looks healthy but jeez she seems so uptight and joyless these days. When I do see her smile for some reason I imagine it’s just acting. It’d be nice to see her lighten up a bit, mood-wise and fashion-wise.

    • Bevvie Hedstrom
      0

      Yowza! She does look EXACTLY like Kate Middleton from the back!

  9. pidget
    0

    Maybe the kids steal one of all of her pairs of shoes, except the dull ones. She might have some emerald green ones hiding under the couch and a kid-bed, respectively.

  10. Sajorina
    0

    I LOVE IT! And, I see flesh from half of her back up and white from half of her back down to the waist! It must be an undergarment & it doesn’t bother me at all! The dress is interesting, sexy and elegant! I’d wear this happily! I like the shoes also, they’re a classic style that will look good in 5, 10 or 15 years! I say FAB & DAMN! Her hair is looking luscious lately & her makeup is flawless! Plus, her clutch is nice!

  11. Lina
    0

    She looks great. Also, I think she tapped herself out in terms of dressing to show off her body. I mean, she did that for YEARS. Everybody knows she has a great body. If I were in her shoes (satin or otherwise) I’d be far more interested in drawing attention away from my body and toward what I can produce with my mind and hands…and I think that’s probably a lot of the reason behind her red carpet fashion choices. I mean, she isn’t showing up in a business suit — she’s hardly pitching new projects on the RC — but she’s hardly a twenty year old starlet trying to catch the eye of a casting director either. In other words, I think this works quite well for her, especially given the venue.

    • Sajorina
      0

      I agree! She’s still made of perfection, but she doesn’t have the need or the desire to flaunt it all the time!

    • Elbyem
      0

      I also agree. And she probably wears sensible shoes because she has SIX KIDS to run after and therefore a) she has to have to ability to be agile, and b) her feet get tired!

  12. Juanitatres
    0

    Let this be a lesson to us all. Check yourself from all angles, ladies. The bra strap should have been noticed. And the shoes are putting me to sleep. But I actually love the dress on her and her hair looks great. I do always get the impression she is trying so hard to look as if she’s not trying at all.

    P.S. Ivanhoe is hella boring. I was having a conversation not long ago about it. It was the only book in school I didn’t finish. I read for a bit, bought the cliff notes and never looked back.

  13. Susan
    0

    I like it a lot. The very best thing – no tatoos showing.

    • mepe
      0

      Very good point!! Hidden tats is definitely a positive for this very Morticia Addams inspired dress.

  14. granny
    0

    Shoes are the invention of the devil.

  15. AO
    0

    She looks tired.

    • mhorv4
      0

      She does, maybe that is the explanation for the undergarment showing. She has like a dozen young kids so you can’t really blame her.

  16. Big Noise
    0

    This is merely another version of The Widow Longoria. Meh.

    • melanie
      0

      Cheers. This is no less bland than the shapeless things she wears at the rest of her appearances.

  17. AO
    0

    Lina’s explanation about re-directing attention away from her body and toward her skills seems plausible.

    Also: why do women beige out their lips? The rule about accentuating either eyes or lips, but not both, is fine, but don’t erase the natural pink color of the lips. It makes one look lifeless.

  18. Stefanie
    0

    Hmmm, I guess she left her blotting papers at home, along with her nude under-things.

  19. Tara
    0

    Wow, I never noticed that before, so I went back, and yeah…girl has some DULL SHOES. Come on, if I made that much money my shoes would be more interesting! Heck, I make nowhere NEAR that amount of money and my shoes are STILL more interesting!

  20. bsr
    0

    isn’t this the long-sleeved cousin to olivia wild’s dress, here: http://gofugyourself.com/fug-or-fab-olivia-wilde-4-01-2012

    this version made me like olivia’s, which i originally didn’t much care for, more.

    • daphne
      0

      .. my first thought, too- was ‘reminds me of Olivia Wilde’ (not to mention Kate, Duchess.. at the War Horse premiere)

  21. Catherine
    0

    yeah…..it’s a bra strap. Girl, I know you’re tired and private and don’t really care about this stuff but that’s just basic. Does she not look at herself from the back in clothes?

  22. Julie
    0

    Who cares about the dress – her hair is fabulous. Wish I had those locks!!!

  23. melanie
    0

    Also, when you say “duller than Ivanhoe”, I know you’re not talking about the Sam Neill/James Mason/Olivia Hussey/Anthony Andrews version, right?

    • SaraK
      0

      How did I not know this existed? Sam Neill and Olivia Hussey?! It’s in my Netflix queue now. Thank you, melanie, and thanks for defending Ivanhoe.

      Wake me up when Angie gets some decent shoes. (Or when my DVD arrives!)

  24. FurryPurry
    0

    a. that is indeed a probably skin coloured bra strap (at least she is wearing one!)
    b. her shoes tend to be rather classic and therefore a tad dull, even though the heel height is impressive (4″ usually). I noticed she likes Ferragamos and while Ferragamo is never that fashion forward, they do well fitting shoes in a staggering amount of widths and sizes. So I think she is going for the more boring designer models in order to wear shoes with a good fit and some sense of comfort. I can’t blame her really ;-) – also as many mad fashion forward shoes usually have a horrible fit (Viktor&Rolf I am looking at you!)

  25. Lia
    0

    Looks like Angie and Duchess Kate are sending each other sartorial love-letters. Interesting.

  26. val.
    0

    Her hair is starting to really bug me. I am her age, and I’ve always had long, thick, “luxurious” hair… until recently. Then it started to look thin and limp and bleh. I read that hair can change as you age. So I cut mine a few inches, to just below shoulder length. I think maybe it’s time Angelina does the same.

    If her hair were better, I think her outfits would pop a bit more. I also think she should go back to darker.

  27. corriner
    0

    Lainey pointed out that the lace cutouts widen her (in a good way), and I’m inclined to agree. I actually really like this… dull shoes, visible bra strap, shiny face and all!

    • Dru
      0

      yep, I agree with the thing about the lace cutouts and widening being good.

      And Ange has been a red carpet snooze for YEARS, with the odd exception, but if I had that face and that body I probably wouldn’t give a frak either.

  28. Victoria
    0

    I think, I like this too. Shoes need to go, and I blame flash lights for the visible strap, it propably matched her skin perfectly but the fabric s more reflective or something.

  29. Julia in Oz
    0

    Agree with the comments that this is positively Middletonian (except for the leg slit). Would much rather see it with Kate’s smile than Ange’s almost scowl. I also doubt Kate would wear a white bra with that dress!

  30. Alia
    0

    Ivanhoe is NOT dull.
    Love,
    a fan of Sir Walter Scott

    • Miss Louise
      0

      I’m with Alia! LOVE Ivanhoe … except the ending, when he settled down with that dull Saxon Rowena. Am definitely going to have to see the Sam Neill version.

  31. ok
    0

    I think the shoes match her aesthetic…which is refined and classic.

  32. anny
    0

    I’m sure the bra is “flesh-toned” – it’s just the same color as flesh that’s been underwater a long time, or down a well applying lotion to itself.

    Sometimes her expression looks not so much “condescending” as “stunned”. I’m starting to wonder if sometimes on these red carpets she mightn’t be, uhh … slightly medicated. Because if she hates red carpets as much as she seems to, she’s probably powerful enough to get out of that at this point in her career.

  33. deee
    0

    I *think* you can see the bra from the front too. So weird. Did she get ready without looking in the mirror? Or did she look in the mirror and think “Whatever.” ?

    In the grand scheme of Fug, slightly visible bra is not that big a deal. But it does seem out of character for the holier than thou vibe that she’s been pitching.

  34. Mahastee
    0

    Oh Angie, so fierce at the Globes, and now she’s hurtled right back to drab town.

    It pains me, because all she is so beautiful that all she really has to do to look good is throw on a decent dress and brush her hair… And she chooses a dress like THIS?

  35. Claire L
    0

    It’s just her…. It’s like when I wear black slacks and a black top…it’s my go to thing….I’m sure everyone is glad they aren’t ripped jeans and a bedazzled fcku shirt…..but it’s nothing to applaud over.

  36. esther
    0

    @vandalfan – but that’s exactly it! she keeps things toned down to protect the innocent public :D

  37. Curtis
    0

    She has clearly entered her Disney villainess phase. She makes it look damn good, too.

  38. erin
    0

    I prefer the tastefully dressed “mother of six” look to the streetwalker look paraded about by so many women in Hollywood. Classy doesn’t have to mean falling out of everything.

  39. Beth
    0

    Yup, as said above, Middletonian. I know that at one point Kate wore the same Jenny Packham dress Jolie had already worn to an event, but does she need to return the favor, down to the hair?

  40. Heather
    0

    I feel bad for her because in spite of her having a gorgeous family, money, fame and beauty, her hairline is seriously receding. Maybe that’s why she seems so dour all the time. On a separate note, I totally thought she looked like Kate from behind. Strange.

  41. exquisite red
    0

    Geez, would it kill her to smile ever? I can’t stand that smug look.

    However, can’t really ding her for the undergarment woes. I’m sure this is a case of the flashbulbs seeing what you can’t see at home in the mirror. And like someone else pointed out, at least she’s wearing undergarments.

    But still, I am so bored with this look. If it were a deep jewel tone (burgandy, navy, green, etc), I think it’d be lovely. But no, she just had to pick black as usual. And ditto to everything said re: sad shoes.

  42. Lily1214
    0

    Yes, corset

  43. rebeccajean_w
    0

    I’d offer the possibility that that is in fact a tan line and NOT a bra strap, but I really can’t imagine Angie having tan lines, let alone one that wide….

  44. Franziska
    0

    Yawn. Black. Again. Safe. Boring. And her hair… sigh. I’ve gone so off her, I’m so disappointed in women who have the means and the looks and the body and simply not bother. She always looks like she’s thinking “ok, let’s get this over with. I’ve got to show my face once in a while, and that’s all those hungry photographers are getting.”

  45. Emily
    0

    From the back she reminds me a lot of K-Mid in the lace dress she wore to the War Horse premiere.

  46. Alison
    0

    I’m guessing there’s a nude mesh underlay on the lace to stabilise it. She’s then worn a light bra so it wouldn’t shine through but the flash has shown it up.

  47. ChaChaHeels
    0

    I agree with this sentiment: if I had that body, I would find a million things to wear that look better than this. Why is it that every time I see a photo of her, she reassures me that’s she’s really blessed with good looks, but she just doesn’t have a clue about what to do with them? It is really not that hard.

    The visible bra strap must be the trade off for the tastefully disguised tattoos. We get one or the other to shudder about, we’re never spared both.

  48. Gal
    0

    Anytime she covers up those bony legs and arms is alright with me.

  49. tkangaroo
    0

    You must mean the A&E Ivanhoe from a few years back, you cannot mean the Anthony Andrews, Sam Neil, Olivia Hussey, soapy goodness from the 80s–http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084157/.

  50. annabanana
    0

    I recognize that bodies comes in all shapes and sizes, and I am glad of that. But my own, inexpert observation of Jolie leads me to state that if you had that body I’d want to see you in psychotherapy, not more flattering gowns.

  51. Softwear
    0

    This is…almost inexplicably, inexcusably, incomprehensibly boring. Am I right? I mean there is just no salvaging this.

  52. Kat
    0

    She’s gone from nineties-society-matron to eighties-society-matron.

    I miss the Jolie who wore her husband’s blood and gave not a damn. I feel like at some point her self-presentation became all about projecting an inviolable facade against any and all possible criticism of anything about her ever. Surely that would be – tiring?

    • Dru
      0

      She wore some good (for her) stuff at Cannes this year. But yeah, I do have fond memories of the woman who, at the height of the scandal, showed up to the premiere of Mr and Mrs Smith in a skintight black leather halter dress.

      You don’t have to be a clotheshorse, Ange, just dress like the badass that you are.

      • Kat
        0

        Oh dear – I just saw her Globes dress for the first time (I know, I’m behind on my fuggery) and I feel a bit bad, because it *was* amazing. In that she looks gobsmackingly beautiful in it, and ALSO like she couldn’t care less what any of us lesser mortals think of her. Which is the way it should be.

        But wow, yeah, that Mr & Mrs Smith dress. I remember that.

  53. katie N
    0

    ok the dress..nothing stunning………….but why on earth she always looks perfect!?!?!?!?!?
    her face!!!!!!!…. , howcome she can look that perfect with a kindergarden at home!?!??!?!?

  54. ddukes
    0

    I don’t understand why she can get volume on the sides of her hair but not on the top. She really needs some top vol. Turn it up Ange.

    The dress? Kind of Bridesmaidy.

  55. Julia in Oz
    0

    This is positively Middletonian (except for the leg slit). However, I much rather see it with Kate’s smile than Ange’s dour face. Also, Kate would not have worn a white bra!

  56. Maddie
    0

    With that body, budget, and the A list clout it should be really easy for Angelina Jolie to find something in neutral colors that is not drab. For these reasons, I consider pretty much everything she wears to be unforgivably boring.