Look, we really need to work on Angelina’s feet now. She’s starting to break out of her billowy rut, but her shoes are duller than Ivanhoe. On the one hand, yes, it’s great that she’s not cutting off the circulation or wearing something that jacks her pinky toe so far off to the side that it’s practically a thumb.

But on the other, eight times out of ten they’re dowdy satin snoozefests — including at the Globes, when she otherwise rocked some serious, if slightly stiff, glamour. It deserved better than white satin hooves, and this is being similarly robbed of its full potential. How is it possible that Angelina Jolie almost always seems to dress without joy? Has she SEEN herself? If I were in that body, I would bring more heat than a SWAT team.

All that said, I do appreciate that this is interesting, and in fact I don’t hate it. Although I can’t figure out the back:

Is that… a corset we’re seeing under there? Or a back brace? Or a giant Icy Hot wrap? I mean, the bottom half of that back has a white underlay, right? Or is it just one thin white bra strap going across the back, and I’m imagining the rest? Or… are my eyes going altogether? Did the Golden Globes fry me? Dear God. It’s too early for me to be a confused husk.

But the dress!

  • It's great! (24%, 1,460 Votes)
  • It's godawful! (11%, 688 Votes)
  • It's... good! Ish! (40%, 2,510 Votes)
  • Go buy new shoes, Angie! (25%, 1,544 Votes)

Total Voters: 6,202

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[Photos: Getty]

Tags: Brangelina