There were a lot of tense matchups this year in Fug Madness, and a few that came down to a couple hundred votes or less, with a whole host of Cinderellas and surprise results. But the one person who never truly struggled this entire time is the person you Fug Nation, picked as your winner. She offed matted, sweaty Ke$ha, cranky and blurry Lindsay Lohan, pretty yet kooky Diane Kruger, tragic princess Jessica Simpson, and, ultimately, taste-impaired Mischa Barton. That’s right, the majority of you have spoken out in favor of this person:
Congratulations, Taylor Momsen. Whether this year of fug was your crowning achievement, or this was one of those secret Lifetime Achievement Awards — like when people win Oscars simply because they lost them a bunch of other times for roles they were better in — it does, in the end, somehow seem perfectly right that you should join our pantheon of winners. Because few people have so flagrantly and deliberately adopted such a seedy array of fuggery in the name of thinking you are a totally awesome and hot badass. Few people, in loudly flouting the idea of being a role model, have revealed so deep a craving to be one (or possibly have one). Few people have had to have their crotches censored by a Fug orb. Few people deserve this as you do.
And now, for my personal favorite part: Our montage of photos where we remember The Tournament That Was, set to the musical fromage that the NCAA itself uses to commemorate its games. Sorry, dearly departed Luther Vandross, but the original version of this song is still the most magnificent.
Thanks, all, for yet another awesome tournament. Y’all and your debates about the true nature of fug are what make this so fun for us. And now, onward into the 2011-2012 season, where a whole host of new campaigns are being waged. Vanessa Hudgens, your destiny may await.