Oh my god we have a lot to talk about. Parts of this episode filled me with GLEE and others with RAGE and others with an intense longing to learn to ride a horse and then time-travel back to the ’20s so I could put on a really great riding habit and race through the glorious English countryside as a way to flirt with handsome people in weird pants. Also: someone finally mentions Hitler.

Here, imagine my traditional note asking those of you who have seen this entire season to forever hold your peace. Or at least until the time has come to RELEASE your peace.

ALSO: the fact that our slideshows cannot handle a horizontal photo means that the opening visual for this recap is, YES, a POLE and some dirty dishes. Carson would DIE. We, however, shall have to carry on. To the Boot Room of Doom!

ALSO ALSO: This week, the UK (and iTunes) version of this episode and the US one are surprisingly different. I recapped from my British iTunes episode, and then WATCHED the US version, so…there are parts where this recap gets all over the place because I went back in to add some stuff that I never got to screengrab. I’m just warning you. Feel free to upbraid me in the Boot Room of Doom.