Chadly Played, Chad Michael Murray

CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY: It’s true. I’m still alive.

KENZIE DALTON: I can’t BELIEVE we’re still “engaged.”

CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY: I also can’t believe I am still engaged to the teen extra I started dating before my annulment from Sophia Bush was even finalized, especially considering it’s been six years. Yes. It is true that I, Chad Michael Murray, find that unbelievable.

KENZIE: Because you thought for sure we’d be married by now?

CMM: Mostly because I thought I’d be on wife number 3 right now. Some other co-star. Maybe Hilarie Burton before she ran off and had a secret baby with Jeffrey Dean Morgan or even Ashley Benson. Yes. Ashley Benson was a strong contender even thought she didn’t know it.  Why haven’t I managed to trade you out for the next one yet, I wonder? I do keep wondering that. But I haven’t. And that is probably why we’re not married although it might be mean for me to confirm that. But enough about you and your flapper outfit, let’s talk about me and how I look irritatingly pretty good in this.

KENZIE: YOU DO. I love you.

CMM: Yeah, baby, I know.  And my hair doesn’t look as terrible as it has in the past.

KENZIE: I’m glad I talked you out of getting The Dan Scott.

CMM: I’m glad Natalie Portman started hitting the crack pipe and decided to cast me as Spider Elliott in her remake of Scruples because when that eventually airs (if ever), people are going to be talking about me again. So much talking. Talking about the Chad.

KENZIE: I love the Chad!

CMM: I know.

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Comments (38):

  1. Carrie

    Can we talk about what the child bride is wearing? Is this a costume party?

    • pantsonfire

      Right? First of all, I love the term “child bride,” so thank you for bringing it into my life today.

      Second, um, I kind of like the dress. But it’s for reals a costume. I mean, sometimes something is clearly evoking an era or inspired by an era (like those Gucci dresses last Spring, I think), but this is straight up a period costume (esp. with the turban). I like it, but it’s a little like a kid playing dress up. And sure, I have no problem with kids running out of the house wearing a tutu and cowboy boots or a full on superhero costume if the spirit moves them, really. But that’s what it feels like she’s doing here. So, child bride, indeed. I’m just imagining CMM looking at her before they left the house and thinking, “oh, they’re only that young once…far be it from me to stifle her creativity.”

    • GFY Jessica

      NO IT ISN’T

  2. Carrie

    Also, why is his suit so shiny? It looks like nylon. Does it double as a parachute in case of emergency?

  3. Alicia

    “Was it the Chad?”

    As much as I generally want to kind of smack the smug off of CMM’s face, The Chad *does* look better than usual up there. Though I echo Carrie’s comment on the shininess of his suit — it looks like ’80s prom dress material.

  4. Jill

    I am getting a vague whiff of Chad Lowe here. Anyone else?

  5. Kate

    I love CMM. It’s endearing how very hard he tries to shed his douchey reputation by being ridiculously nice on Twitter.

    Kenzie’s outfit is cute. I’m not sure I’d have gone for that clutch, though. CMM is very shiny, but really, shouldn’t he always be shiny? It’s the glow of genial guy-itude.

  6. KatieBell

    They are such different sizes, that it looks like she is standing next to a large cardboard cut out… which is not helped by the look of adoration on her face.

    • A different Kate

      I know! They don’t even appear to be the same species! What kind of trickery is this?

      • KatieBell

        YES!!! That is exactly what I said when I saw it: “Are they even the same species?!?”

  7. Corriner

    I am so glad this post began with, “It’s true. I’m still alive”, because that is EXACTLY what I thought when I saw CMM was the subject of this post.

    Also, he may really be pulling this off. My judgement is clearly off. What is happening to me?

  8. Sandra

    I like the idea of the flapper dress, but the color is unfortunate. It’s like she followed Fozzy Bear to the barber and had a dress made out the clippings. Also, I’m pretty sure I can see her undies, which should sure the hell never happen with a fringe dress.

    Maybe the two of them get along because they’re both in love with him.

    • Leelee

      “Maybe the two of them get along because they’re both in love with him.

    • A.J.

      Hee hee. That’s all I can think when I see this photo.
      HER: “I love you baby!”
      HIM: “I love me too!”

  9. Rachel

    They both look costume-y, but I looooove how it looks like she’s staring at his hair like she’s stunned that it looks normalish.

    Also…. This post (and clicking on the bad hair links) makes me miss One Tree Hill. The crazy plots! The dog eating Dan’s heart! That’s it – *heads to Hulu*

  10. Lizzy

    Even with that color, overall he doesn’t look that bad (for Chad). But what is it about former teen TV show stars and vests? Isn’t Luke Perry also fond of the formal vest?

  11. buttercup

    How did you find the deep well of restraint required to not mention THAT THING ON HER HEAD?! I mean…is it a headband? A visor? A turban? A turvisand?

  12. yeahandalso

    he was so dreamy on The Creek and Gilmore Girls

  13. Guerra

    That suit is terrible and the vest! Terrible!!

  14. LoriK

    He is so not Spider Elliot. I have no idea what Natalie Portman was thinking. I’ve wondered about her thought process before, but now I really wonder about it.

  15. Eli

    OMG, I can’t believe he is still with that girl. I thought he only proposed to her so he wouldn’t get popped for statutory rape or something. She still doesn’t look legal. But she is looking at him like I look at a hot fudge sundae.

  16. vandalfan

    She’s doing what I call “The Nancy Regan”. I looked at my husband that way when he was presented with the Silver Beaver award from the BSA. Fancy dinner, lots of photos.

  17. Rubee

    He looks undeniable good, although I’d burn the vest and the red hanky peeping from his breast pocket.
    The dress color is nice and it suits her very well, but I’m not a fan of the Payless peeptoes. She apparently didn’t get the memo about The Great Gatsby not been released anytime this year and how because of this 20′s fashion as a trend was equally out.

  18. Brooke

    They both benefit from the sum being greater than the parts. At first glance, they look great, but when I start really looking, um, I have issues. Her shoes (kudos to Rubee “Payless peeptoes” HA!) which I am pretty sure my grandmother owns, that thing on her head, her dress in general, the material of his suit (what IS that?). Not to mention the undertone of creepy child bride … Were it not for the fact they are both so pretty, the whole thing would be a hilarious flop. But, oddly, I am not terribly offended. Carry on.

  19. Faye

    CMM is going to be Spider Elliot?!! Bull untrue, right? You guys are joking, I hope. Because Spider has to be played by an actor who not only as mad charisma and looks, but can somehow combine total playboy sexiness with a hint of vulnerability and sweetness. And CMM? Just . . .no.

  20. Ms. A.

    The suit looks fine.
    The girl he’s with is for sure not serving flapper realness. The brown fringe and the half ass turban, just no.

  21. JLW

    Her whole getup makes me feel as if I need to adjust the color on my monitor. Her hair is quite green, isn’t it?

  22. Chrissy

    So I really don’t have a comment about him except that mens’ pants don’t seem to be made correctly right now. Her outfit is sort of a costume, but I still realy like it.

  23. TonyG

    Except for CMM, I did not know anyone mentioned in this dialogue, so I felt old. That is, until I got to “The Chad” reference from Charlie’s Angels. I don’t feel as old now. (Thanks, Jessica!)

  24. Kiti

    Not sure about the outfits. If I squint, they’re actually pretty okay. What has happened to me? I sure hope I didn’t hit my head earlier today and then forget about it and I’m going around with a mild concussion right now…

    What I mainly think is that if they’ve been together, in HOLLYWOOD, for SIX YEARS, then it might be possible that they really like each other, which explains why they look so tickled to be out and about together. I don’t know them. I don’t know their lives. I’m just saying.

  25. Aria

    He actually doesn ‘t look too bad, but of course, last time I saw him was on one of the last eppys of OTH and his hair was soooo douchey looking. Her outfit is all kinds of heinous. And while I still love watching OTH reruns (Please never go away Soapnet), the thought of him as Spider makes me shudder. Have they cast Billy and Valentine yet?

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  27. Samantha

    I recently ran in to CMM in a Vancouver nightclub. 3 things to note:

    1) He was wearing fingerless gloves and a toque. In July.
    2) He drank inordinate amounts of soda water.
    3) He has a wet noodle handshake.

    He is no Charlie Todd, let it be known.

  28. Alex

    Guys, sorry, I’m not into this subject, but is this interview real?

  29. Alex

    Thx, Jessica:)