Fugger: Zooey Deschanel
It’s not so much that I don’t like this — the dress is fine, although let’s be frank, the nylons and the shoes are fired; no, it’s that the photo cracks me up.
The expression on her face says to me, “God, WHY did I have to cleave to this NICE-GIRL persona? Why do I have to be all CHEERFUL now all the time? What was I thinking? Just ONCE I want to put on a raging case of bitchface and wear a dress made of knives and run over someone’s FOOT with a MOTORCYCLE. Instead it’s all polka-dots and party dresses and YAY WHERE’S MY UKULELE and I swear to GOD when New Girl is over I am going to turn into Angelina Jolie.”
[Photos: WENN, Fame/Flynet]
SELENA: Hey, Zooey.
ZOOEY: What’s up, buttercup? You look pretty, in that kind of ‘cheerleader going to her spring dance’ kind of way.
SELENA: Is that a bad thing?
ZOOEY: Only if you accidentally break into some high kicks, Tricks.
SELENA: Well, YOU look… fine, actually. That dress is nice. And your hair looks less fake. And no tights!
ZOOEY: That was the plan, Stan. It’s time for some bare legs, scrambled eggs!
SELENA: Why are you rhyming?
ZOOEY: Does that not seem like something I would do, little boo?
SELENA: I don’t know, but it’s sort of creepy. Can you stop?
ZOOEY: Sure. Maybe instead we’ll just stand here and talk about whether Justin Bieber is a sensitive lover.
SELENA: Ugh, never mind, go back to the rhymes.
ZOOEY: Yeah, that’s what I thought, fembot.