Fugger: Zooey Deschanel

Oscars Fug Carpet: Zooey Deschanel

Various news reports claimed that Zooey here cut her hair, but I’m pretty sure this is just a faux bob — it’s curled up and pinned, right? Regardless, it’s very cute on her. Unlike this dress, which is from the Valentino line I like to call WHY DON’T YOU JUST STAB ME Spring ’13.

[Photos: Getty]


Golden Globes Mostly Well Played, Sisters Deschanel

I don’t know if you saw this on the telecast, but Zooey had someone actually twirl her ponytail for her when she arrived at the red carpet. I assume it was her stylist or hair technician, but I like to think that she has a dedicated Ponytail Twirler on staff. THAT is some manic pixie dream girl realness.

[Photos: Getty]


Fugs, Fabs, and Fines of the FOX TCA Party

It’s really hard for me not to joke that some of these ladies are looking….FOXY. God. That was horrible. I am really sorry.

[Photos: Getty]


Emmy Awards Fug or Fab: Zooey Deschanel

I call these photos collectively Exhibit B in my theory that Zooey Deschanel is bored of herself and really wishes she could magically insert herself into, say, Sons of Anarchy instead.

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[Photos: Getty]


Boredly Played, Zooey Deschanel?

It’s not so much that I don’t like this — the dress is fine, although let’s be frank, the nylons and the shoes are fired; no, it’s that the photo cracks me up.

The expression on her face says to me, “God, WHY did I have to cleave to this NICE-GIRL persona? Why do I have to be all CHEERFUL now all the time? What was I thinking? Just ONCE I want to put on a raging case of bitchface and wear a dress made of knives and run over someone’s FOOT with a MOTORCYCLE. Instead it’s all polka-dots and party dresses and YAY WHERE’S MY UKULELE and I swear to GOD when New Girl is over I am going to turn into Angelina Jolie.”

[Photo: Getty]


Fug and Fab the TCAs: FOX Party

It’s been a really long time since I watched Bones. Is it on its last legs? Is that why Tamara Taylor is in full HELLO YES HERE I AM EVERYONE mode?

[Photos: WENN, Fame/Flynet]


Teen Choice Awards: Resoundingly Fine-ly Played, Zooey and Selena

SELENA: Hey, Zooey.

ZOOEY: What’s up, buttercup? You look pretty, in that kind of ‘cheerleader going to her spring dance’ kind of way.

SELENA: Is that a bad thing?

ZOOEY: Only if you accidentally break into some high kicks, Tricks.

SELENA: Well, YOU look… fine, actually. That dress is nice. And your hair looks less fake. And no tights!

ZOOEY: That was the plan, Stan. It’s time for some bare legs, scrambled eggs!

SELENA: Why are you rhyming?

ZOOEY: Does that not seem like something I would do, little boo?

SELENA: I don’t know, but it’s sort of creepy. Can you stop?

ZOOEY: Sure. Maybe instead we’ll just stand here and talk about whether Justin Bieber is a sensitive lover.

SELENA: Ugh, never mind, go back to the rhymes.

ZOOEY: Yeah, that’s what I thought, fembot.

[Photos: Getty]