Fugger: Zooey Deschanel

Fugs, Fabs, and Fines of the FOX TCA Party


It’s really hard for me not to joke that some of these ladies are looking….FOXY. God. That was horrible. I am really sorry.

[Photos: Getty]

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Emmy Awards Fug or Fab: Zooey Deschanel


I call these photos collectively Exhibit B in my theory that Zooey Deschanel is bored of herself and really wishes she could magically insert herself into, say, Sons of Anarchy instead.

Does the Emmy gown work for you?

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[Photos: Getty]

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Boredly Played, Zooey Deschanel?


It’s not so much that I don’t like this — the dress is fine, although let’s be frank, the nylons and the shoes are fired; no, it’s that the photo cracks me up.

The expression on her face says to me, “God, WHY did I have to cleave to this NICE-GIRL persona? Why do I have to be all CHEERFUL now all the time? What was I thinking? Just ONCE I want to put on a raging case of bitchface and wear a dress made of knives and run over someone’s FOOT with a MOTORCYCLE. Instead it’s all polka-dots and party dresses and YAY WHERE’S MY UKULELE and I swear to GOD when New Girl is over I am going to turn into Angelina Jolie.”

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug and Fab the TCAs: FOX Party


It’s been a really long time since I watched Bones. Is it on its last legs? Is that why Tamara Taylor is in full HELLO YES HERE I AM EVERYONE mode?

[Photos: WENN, Fame/Flynet]

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Teen Choice Awards: Resoundingly Fine-ly Played, Zooey and Selena


SELENA: Hey, Zooey.

ZOOEY: What’s up, buttercup? You look pretty, in that kind of ‘cheerleader going to her spring dance’ kind of way.

SELENA: Is that a bad thing?

ZOOEY: Only if you accidentally break into some high kicks, Tricks.

SELENA: Well, YOU look… fine, actually. That dress is nice. And your hair looks less fake. And no tights!

ZOOEY: That was the plan, Stan. It’s time for some bare legs, scrambled eggs!

SELENA: Why are you rhyming?

ZOOEY: Does that not seem like something I would do, little boo?

SELENA: I don’t know, but it’s sort of creepy. Can you stop?

ZOOEY: Sure. Maybe instead we’ll just stand here and talk about whether Justin Bieber is a sensitive lover.

SELENA: Ugh, never mind, go back to the rhymes.

ZOOEY: Yeah, that’s what I thought, fembot.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Zooey Deschanel


Well, I certainly support the idea of this. Lord knows neither of us met a sequin we didn’t want to take home for a torrid affair.

What’s tripping me up is the red belt. I can’t tell if it’s the perfect splash of color, or an unconvincing attempt at spice. Kind of like when you ask for garlic bread, but when it comes, it turns out all they did was sprinkle it with powder and hope it would pass. You can taste the fake. I’m wondering if that’s what I’m doing with the belt. And now that I back up, can I see her bra under that bodice? Is everything unraveling before my eyes? Or, to further the other comparison, should I just shut up and be glad I got ANY bread in the first place and revel in the marvelous carbosity of it all?

Thoughts, without using the dreaded "q" word (that is, quirky... oh, shoot, there I go):

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