Fugger: Selena Gomez

Selena Fugmez


How do I hate this? Let me count the ways: 1) A lot; 2) SO MUCH; 3) FLAMES. ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE. And so forth.

[Photos: WENN]

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I Love You Like A Fug Song Baby


I remember when high-waisted jeans came back around in, what, 2005? And I was screaming myself hoarse about the crimes they commit against a person’s groin. They are a pelvic prison. And then they disappeared. AND THEN.

Selena Gomez has found a pair, and wore them to an audition. I hope this was for a Lifetime movie about that time Fergie wet herself on-stage in high-waisted shorts, and Selena was going for abdominal verisimilitude. Otherwise, I can’t think of why anyone would want to do that to themselves. Here’s a closer look:

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If You Want It, Come and Fug It


So, I was in St. Louis for like 36 hours this weekend and because I’m a classy broad, when I was at the St. Louis airport I decided to read Star while I waited for my chopped salad at the Chilis To Go. And it had this whole story about how the Biebs is totally trying to get back on Selena’s jock and he’s sending her all these text messages that they allegedly have, including pictures of his boner which is THE LAST THING WE NEED TO SEE, BIEBS, and Selena’s alleged reaction to this pictures is, basically, “Ew ,what is wrong with you?” and “You need help,” and it says something about how much I dislike this outfit that I saw this photo and thought, “She really is having the worst week.”

But my personal feeling is that palazzo pant overalls are the LAST thing you need when your deeply regretted ex is sending you unsolicited pictures of his junk. Because they help nothing.

[Photo: Getty]

 

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Fuggle Ball


Ah, the Jingle Ball(s). So far, they’re just Dudes Barely Trying and then girls in thigh-highs. I’m discomfited.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fuglena Gomez


Well, yeah, it was a halftime show, but it was also only half-entertaining.

[Photos: WENN]

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Fugs and Fines: Flaunt Magazine Party


Well… it is called Flaunt, after all. Dangle that chance to be so literal in front of a starlet, and it’s like delivering a keg to a dry football stadium.

[Photos: Getty]

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