Time to give some props to Selena Gomez, you guys:
a) She hasn’t gotten back together with Justin Bieber yet, and I’m beginning to think she is actually done with him.
2) She was really quite charming and sympathetic in Monte Carlo, a movie I strong suggest you watch next time you’re sick.
!) Her Vanessa Hudgens costume, although a bit early for either Halloween or Fug Madness, is on point.
[Photo: Fame-Flynet]
I’m not always entirely sure what InStyle’s deal is anymore.
Every time I picked it up, which admittedly was last a very long time ago, it was definitely a magazine for Ladies Of A Certain Age Who Have Lots Of Disposable Income, and then beyond that, Oglers Of Whatever Age Who Wish They Had More Disposable Income (yo!). Kind of like Marie Claire or Allure or Elle (Marie Alle) for rich ladies who don’t care if the person on the cover has a strangely blank stare. So I can’t figure out why Selena Gomez makes a lick of sense on this publication’s cover. She’s trying to grow up, sure, but she’s not there yet — and as long as she keeps being linked to Justin Bieber, her adulthood is going to be a hard sell — and so I can’t imagine she tracks too well with the target demographic.
Beyond that, she has succumbed to InStyle‘s recent rut of looking frozen and stiff even though they clearly shoved a wind machine in her face to try and give this some spunk. (Instead, she just looks like she’s fighting to keep her eyes open because there is a freaking wind machine in her face.) She’s clad in the Stella McCartney jumpsuit we last saw on pneumonia-riddled Jennifer Lawrence during awards season, also, which… it’s not the worst thing ever, but it’s not really HER, either. Selena Gomez is just much cuter than this, and also much more LIVELY, and since I can’t imagine InStyle‘s core reader really cares that much about her input on falling in love again or breakup songs or fashion advice, the whole thing comes off like a doomed experiment.
That’s right, Selena, put up your hand and put a stop to this. We can’t go down the Donna Martin-style “cropped shirt and pants with hanging suspenders” road again.
In other words, it’s 9021-no. ZING. Friday afternoon, ladies and gentlemen!
[Photo: Pacific Coast News]
I can’t tell if this is a case of Right Dress, Wrong Girl; right dress, wrong styling; or just… wrong.
The bright parts are fun, I think; I wish she’d gone with a lighter eye and a slightly hotter pink lipstick to play off them. The shoes are fine in theory but don’t deliver on any of the dress’s neon whimsy. My concern is with the rest of it. I feel like I’m seeing more contours than is strictly necessary, and I think maybe someone who has a bit more… authority… would fit the gown better. Selena Gomez is super famous, I get that, but something about her isn’t particularly commanding (yet?). Imagine it on a Miley, a Kate Hudson, even a January Jones. Is it better? Is it groovy? Or is it still just kind of a jumble of burst highlighters and torn paper, like a junior-high kid’s backpack?
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As mean as it may have been, I started to love Selena Gomez a bit when Letterman told her he made Justin Bieber cry and she said, “That makes two of us.” Especially because, no matter what anyone says (or how anyone backtracks), I cannot be convinced he didn’t tee that up for her so that she could sling that exact prepared zinger. So she MEANT that. And right on time, too — thanks to Fug Madness, diaper pants, and that Anne Frank thing, there has never been a better time to disassociate oneself from Bieliebers, or however you spell that atrocious word.
However, it is not the time to turn around and connect yourself with Jersey Shore On Ice. RETHINK.
[Photo: Getty]
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ESPYs Fug or Fab: Selena Gomez
I checked in a close-up, and this is not see-through; it’s just backed by lace that’s the same color as her legs. I THINK. Let’s just go with that, because it’s easier on my wrinkles.
So where does that leave us: A cute, fun, frothy red frock, or a fancy-dress orthopedic back brace? I was going to say, “or both,” but really, that only applies if you NEED a fancy-dress orthopedic back brace. And if she does, and she is also REALLY TRULY dating Justin Bieber again, then well, imagining WHY she might need a fancy-dress orthopedic back brace just blew my head off my neck and left my noggin stuck up in a tree and not even facing the right way to peek in on any of my neighbors. WOE, THE INJUSTICE.
[Photo: Getty]
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