Fugger: Selena Gomez

Coachella Music Fugstival: First Weekend


Otherwise known as Free People Fashion Week, and starring such luminaries as Vanessa Hudgens, Beyonce, Solange, Lorde, Jared Leto, Kellan Lutz, Kate Bosworth, and the Jenner girls and the Willis girls in some truly hideous things.

Speaking of: This was the second Coachella photo I saw. And I tweeted it and said that I was fairly sure it would stand as the stupidest one of all. And then some people gave her some REALLY stiff competition.

Is it still the stupidest one of all?

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[Photos. Splash, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, WENN]

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Kids’ Choice Awards Fug or Fine: Selena Gomez in Dolce & Gabbana


I don’t really know what to make of this.

My first wish is that it were a bit longer and a dress, rather than a tunic over shorts. My second wish might be for a different sleeve length. My third wish: that the trim and the photo-pattern looked like they had any relevance to each other. There’s a hint of purple in each, I guess, but mostly they are, to me, punching each other in the sandbox. In bad sports parlance: I don’t hate the player and I don’t even really hate the game, but the officiating stinks.

Dear Selena:

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[Photo: Getty]

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Vanity Fair Oscar Party Unfug or Fab: Selena Gomez in Emilio Pucci


New couple alert:

This will obviously upset Justin Bieber’s apple cart, as he Instagrammed Internet photos of Selena in this dress along with schmoopy sentiments about what a goddess she is, because clearly he thinks they would still be a good idea even though the Greek chorus that is THE ENTIRE PLANET is screaming, “HOLSTER IT, TWERP.”

Let’s look at Selena’s gown without the accessory of one Mr. Bill Murray:

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Selena Fugmez


How do I hate this? Let me count the ways: 1) A lot; 2) SO MUCH; 3) FLAMES. ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE. And so forth.

[Photos: WENN]

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I Love You Like A Fug Song Baby


I remember when high-waisted jeans came back around in, what, 2005? And I was screaming myself hoarse about the crimes they commit against a person’s groin. They are a pelvic prison. And then they disappeared. AND THEN.

Selena Gomez has found a pair, and wore them to an audition. I hope this was for a Lifetime movie about that time Fergie wet herself on-stage in high-waisted shorts, and Selena was going for abdominal verisimilitude. Otherwise, I can’t think of why anyone would want to do that to themselves. Here’s a closer look:

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If You Want It, Come and Fug It


So, I was in St. Louis for like 36 hours this weekend and because I’m a classy broad, when I was at the St. Louis airport I decided to read Star while I waited for my chopped salad at the Chilis To Go. And it had this whole story about how the Biebs is totally trying to get back on Selena’s jock and he’s sending her all these text messages that they allegedly have, including pictures of his boner which is THE LAST THING WE NEED TO SEE, BIEBS, and Selena’s alleged reaction to this pictures is, basically, “Ew ,what is wrong with you?” and “You need help,” and it says something about how much I dislike this outfit that I saw this photo and thought, “She really is having the worst week.”

But my personal feeling is that palazzo pant overalls are the LAST thing you need when your deeply regretted ex is sending you unsolicited pictures of his junk. Because they help nothing.

[Photo: Getty]

 

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