And there’s my Easter Sunday dress sorted! ALREADY!
Look, there are a lot of things I can appreciate about Miley. Her hosting performance last night was not one of them. But you can’t deny that at least she picked “go big” in the age old dilemma of going big, or going home. She looked like she was a living salute to Tara Reid in Josie and the Pussycats half the time.
A Fug National tweeted, “Well, at least Miley is wearing a cape.” And I thought, “Oh, yay, I do love a cape.” I did not consider that she meant it THIS way.
Girl, even a BAD TGI Friday’s employee wears more pieces of flair than that.
Although, I guess you could count the headpiece that looks like “Jeremy Scott Presents: Miley Cyrus Does Carmen Miranda for Moschino For Kohl’s.” But I guess in a way she deserves some credit for the fact that I can look at this and think, “Yep, that makes a warped sort of sense for her.” In other words, she came in like a wrecking ball, and she just closed her eyes and swung… except this time we get to duck and just let her float past.
I can’t decide if this makes me terrified, exasperated, exhausted, or amused at what might await when Miley hosts the VMAs on Sunday.
The answer might be “all of the above.”
She’s maybe a bit dead-faced, and her lips are flavorless, but I STILL think Miss Miley actually looks quite good on this cover. Inside, she throws a little shade with regard to Taylor Swift (but not AT Taylor Swift). With regard to the “Bad Blood” video, she said:
“I don’t get the violence revenge thing. That’s supposed to be a good example? And I’m a bad role model because I’m running around with my titties out? I’m not sure how titties are worse than guns.”
I CANNOT TELL YOU how much I HATE the word “titties.” From a man or a woman. It’s the most infantilizing word. I honestly think I prefer every single other slang term for “breasts” to that one. Anyway. I see where Miley is going, and it’s a clever way to try to make people stop and think while also guaranteeing herself a headline. Miley, in fact, often says things that are so bluntly self-aware that they make me like her. But as much as I get that she’s gesturing at a larger point about society’s reaction to nudity, the context feels like a stretch. The “Bad Blood” video is silly — all those celebs in it for 2 seconds each, and the nicknames; nothing really HAPPENS – but I don’t think it’s a YAY GUNS YAY VIOLENCE affair. It’s a wannabe sci-fi movie. It’s a video made to illustrate a song about a feud, set in a futuristic world. I didn’t hear Miley complaining about herself with regard to Mad Max when everyone was all up in Charlize Theron as a female-empowerment hero, and I certainly don’t think anyone’s citing “Bad Blood” as a reason Taylor Swift might be a role model (more that she is articulate and well-dressed and seems to have her head on relatively straight, and I personally like that she’s a musician who actually plays multiple instruments). To me that bite basically exposes that Miley IS defensive about how she’s perceived, even though the rest of the time she pretends she’s totally FINE about people not liking her insistence on nudity, because she’s TESTING US with it, and she doesn’t care, and she’s happy with herself, and it’s OUR PROBLEM, and yada yada yada. Also, “Bad Blood” is just one video; Miley’s boobs are like three years of repetition. It’s just interesting when a person who really doesn’t want you to think she cares what people think, exposes that she totally cares what people think.
[Photos and story: Marie Claire]
Miley Cyrus is a really curious – if also often frustrating — creature to me. Her sudden disclosures of feeling gender fluid and identifying as androgynous are not without heartfelt spirit and an air of honesty, and I am pretty sure I believe her. But she as a PERSON does pull at my cynical triggers, because she’s such a creature of the media that I keep wondering with ANYTHING she says if she’s simply reacting to what’s buzzy. And/or trying to muscle her way to the front of the caravan, all in the name of being the loudest voice in any given room. (And I must clarify: I take gender fluidity and feelings of androgyny themselves totally seriously; it is MILEY I am not sure if I should take seriously. Not because of this, but in general. She makes it hard to tell.) But then she’ll say stuff that’s smart, or savvy, or self-aware — or all three. Such as, to Time:
Now 22, Cyrus isn’t worried about offending anyone. “Someone said the other day to me, ‘Should you ask your advisor?’” she says. “I’m like, ‘If I have an advisor, they should have been fired two years ago.’”
And then this, which made me laugh and also like her:
“All the women in the restaurant [on Valentine's Day two years ago] were with these older, fat men that had just let themselves go. They were just being drunk bastards. And then the women were sitting there, trying so hard just to look good. And they’re ignoring them the whole time. And I thought, ‘I’m not living like this. If I end up in a straight relationship, that’s fine—but I’m not going to be with f-cking slob guys who are watching porn, making all their girls feel ugly.”
The last quote here, I initially read with the Beyonce bit pulled entirely out of context, so it felt more like shade than it perhaps is intended — but I still think it’s an interesting point, because as much as people get annoyed when Taylor Swift stands there in her front-row seat and dances and sings along, it at least has a camaraderie to it that you wouldn’t see from a lot of people.
She recently went to the finals of RuPaul’s Drag Race, but says she’s not particularly interested in attending award shows. [...] She responds better to the unbridled, flamboyant support that RuPaul’s contestants gave one another as they performed. “Beyonce would never be down in the front row cheering on Katy Perry,” she says.
And thus, my complicated relationship with Miley. Like the bratty attention-vortex little sister who makes you roll your eyes and even scream, but she’s not a bad egg and in fact makes you proud sometimes.
I should hate this so much more than I do:
However, the woman behind her and I both seem to be thinking, “I dunno, Miley, but maybe.” It’s a dress apparently designed to show off her hip flexors and one eighth of her collarbone and it’s basically a thong for your torso, but I’m still sort of like, “I can totally live with this.” Is it possible that I am just that enamored of long sleeves? Is this what 2015′s parade of nudity and sheers hath wrought?