Fugger: Miley Cyrus

WTF: Miley Cyrus in Concert


Please believe me when I tell you this is not safe for work. I am not joking. She gets naked. (I didn’t even notice HOW naked until I was really into this, but…naked.)

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Recent Fugs and Fabs: Winter Coats


It’s COAT PORN SEASON, everyone.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

react:

Fug or Fab: Miley Cyrus


Two days in a row, and I’ve provisionally signed off on BOTH of Miley’s outfits, which I can only imagine is a tremendous relief to her.  First, however, I must say that I do not understnad what she is going with her hair:

"A Very Murray Christmas" New York Premiere

Her FACE looks great, and I dig all the detailing on her dress, but those Princess Leia-adjacent buns make her look like she went extra crazy in the notions section at Michael’s. (It’s happened to the best of us.) Lord knows, I am a fervent Fake Hair Supporter, but if you told me she glued those perky little buns onto her head herself after a couple of hours watching Lifetime Movie Network, I would believe it instantly.

As for the rest of it:

"A Very Murray Christmas" New York Premiere

I hate the socks, but that dress is like Futuristic Snowflake Magic, and I am here for it.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Fugz: Miley Cyrus


I’ve had SO MANY THEORIES about what this ensemble is made of, all of them born when I saw this photo all tiny, in thumbnail form. Said theories included “pink sandpaper,” “Rock Star gel nails, except painted all over her body,” and “velour.” (Oh, Miley Cyrus would wear a Juicy sweatsuit on the red carpet, of this I have no doubt. And I fervently hope she does so, in 2016. Keep hope alive!)

GettyImages-499493624

All that said, there’s still something about this that feels slightly Dolly Parton-approved (Dolly is, after all, Miley’s godmother), and that means there is a tiny, squashy part of my soul that secretly likes it. Don’t tell.

[Photo: Getty]

react:

WTF: Miley Cyrus in Ulyana Sergeenko


So, Ulyana Sergeenko is at least a real designer (even if she’s one I don’t respond well to very often), as opposed to, say, a cartoon of one, like Jeremy Scott is to me. But this was custom, so I assume that means it has Miley’s sticky fingerprints all over it:

miley cyrus

And obviously, it’s heinous. She looks like a genie whose eternal prison is a Rose Parade float. But there’s also no way she doesn’t KNOW that — you could argue Kim Kardashian might not be as self-aware as we hope she is, but Miley FOR SURE is the type of person who understands the insanity of what she’s doing. Sure, she might then wank that it’s SO deranged that it’s awesome and subversive, and she might be wrong about that a lot of the time, but to me there is no question that we all have a base level of agreement that this outfit isn’t attractive. (Ulyana Sergeenko may want to stab the wall, though.) Now, Gaga has worn some heinous and crazy things in her time, but somehow even at her worst — even in a meat dress — she reached a level that always feels just outside Miley’s grasp. Why is that? Is it because Gaga came first, so we’ve seen this sort of stuff before and everything now seems wanly imitative? Or is it because Gaga’s stuff was more committed, somehow? Or is it that Gaga at least poked at some kind of artistic statement, whereas Miley’s comes off more like she is poking us all in the eye? I don’t know. There is something about the sheer magnitude of her “I Have Zero F*cks To Give” aura that I applaud, because it’s hard to be in your twenties in showbiz and care so little, but then… I also don’t know if I BELIEVE she cares that little. It’s the same logic as when a celebrity doesn’t want to be noticed, so they wear a giant hat and sunglasses, thus ensuring they will be noticed. If Miley truly gives no f*cks, why is she working so hard to make sure we’re looking? So I circle back to: It’s all very well and good to be a human My Little Pony when you’re young, but this is the Fun Police speaking, and it’s time to change it up before she becomes only a caricature of a person. And honestly, that day may have already arrived.

As an aside, that wig makes her look both like a poser and a Battlefield Earth super fan, and I wish she would stop wearing it.

[Photo: Getty]

react:

Obviously: Miley Cyrus


Miley Cyrus Visits "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon"

And there’s my Easter Sunday dress sorted! ALREADY!

[Photo: Getty]

react:

VMAs WTF: Miley Cyrus


Look, there are a lot of things I can appreciate about Miley. Her hosting performance last night was not one of them.  But you can’t deny that at least she picked “go big” in the age old dilemma of going big, or going home.  She looked like she was a living salute to Tara Reid in Josie and the Pussycats half the time.

[Photos: Getty]

react: