Fugger: Miley Cyrus

WTF: Miley Cyrus in Ulyana Sergeenko

So, Ulyana Sergeenko is at least a real designer (even if she’s one I don’t respond well to very often), as opposed to, say, a cartoon of one, like Jeremy Scott is to me. But this was custom, so I assume that means it has Miley’s sticky fingerprints all over it:

miley cyrus

And obviously, it’s heinous. She looks like a genie whose eternal prison is a Rose Parade float. But there’s also no way she doesn’t KNOW that — you could argue Kim Kardashian might not be as self-aware as we hope she is, but Miley FOR SURE is the type of person who understands the insanity of what she’s doing. Sure, she might then wank that it’s SO deranged that it’s awesome and subversive, and she might be wrong about that a lot of the time, but to me there is no question that we all have a base level of agreement that this outfit isn’t attractive. (Ulyana Sergeenko may want to stab the wall, though.) Now, Gaga has worn some heinous and crazy things in her time, but somehow even at her worst — even in a meat dress — she reached a level that always feels just outside Miley’s grasp. Why is that? Is it because Gaga came first, so we’ve seen this sort of stuff before and everything now seems wanly imitative? Or is it because Gaga’s stuff was more committed, somehow? Or is it that Gaga at least poked at some kind of artistic statement, whereas Miley’s comes off more like she is poking us all in the eye? I don’t know. There is something about the sheer magnitude of her “I Have Zero F*cks To Give” aura that I applaud, because it’s hard to be in your twenties in showbiz and care so little, but then… I also don’t know if I BELIEVE she cares that little. It’s the same logic as when a celebrity doesn’t want to be noticed, so they wear a giant hat and sunglasses, thus ensuring they will be noticed. If Miley truly gives no f*cks, why is she working so hard to make sure we’re looking? So I circle back to: It’s all very well and good to be a human My Little Pony when you’re young, but this is the Fun Police speaking, and it’s time to change it up before she becomes only a caricature of a person. And honestly, that day may have already arrived.

As an aside, that wig makes her look both like a poser and a Battlefield Earth super fan, and I wish she would stop wearing it.

[Photo: Getty]


Obviously: Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus Visits "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon"

And there’s my Easter Sunday dress sorted! ALREADY!

[Photo: Getty]


VMAs WTF: Miley Cyrus

Look, there are a lot of things I can appreciate about Miley. Her hosting performance last night was not one of them.  But you can’t deny that at least she picked “go big” in the age old dilemma of going big, or going home.  She looked like she was a living salute to Tara Reid in Josie and the Pussycats half the time.

[Photos: Getty]


WTFness As Usual: Miley Cyrus

A Fug National tweeted, “Well, at least Miley is wearing a cape.” And I thought, “Oh, yay, I do love a cape.” I did not consider that she meant it THIS way.

miley cyrus jimmy kimmel live

Girl, even a BAD TGI Friday’s employee wears more pieces of flair than that.

Although, I guess you could count the headpiece that looks like “Jeremy Scott Presents: Miley Cyrus Does Carmen Miranda for Moschino For Kohl’s.” But I guess in a way she deserves some credit for the fact that I can look at this and think, “Yep, that makes a warped sort of sense for her.” In other words, she came in like a wrecking ball, and she just closed her eyes and swung… except this time we get to duck and just let her float past.

[Photo: Getty]


WTF Except Also Totally Normal For Her: Miley Cyrus

I can’t decide if this makes me terrified, exasperated, exhausted, or amused at what might await when Miley hosts the VMAs on Sunday.

 miley cyrus jimmy kimmel

The answer might be “all of the above.”

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Well Played Cover: Miley Cyrus on Marie Claire, September 2015

She’s maybe a bit dead-faced, and her lips are flavorless, but I STILL think Miss Miley actually looks quite good on this cover. Inside, she throws a little shade with regard to Taylor Swift (but not AT Taylor Swift). With regard to the “Bad Blood” video, she said:

“I don’t get the violence revenge thing.  That’s supposed to be a good example?  And I’m a bad role model because I’m running around with my titties out?  I’m not sure how titties are worse than guns.”

I CANNOT TELL YOU how much I HATE the word “titties.” From a man or a woman. It’s the most infantilizing word. I honestly think I prefer every single other slang term for “breasts” to that one. Anyway. I see where Miley is going, and it’s a clever way to try to make people stop and think while also guaranteeing herself a headline. Miley, in fact, often says things that are so bluntly self-aware that they make me like her. But as much as I get that she’s gesturing at a larger point about society’s reaction to nudity, the context feels like a stretch. The “Bad Blood” video is silly — all those celebs in it for 2 seconds each, and the nicknames; nothing really HAPPENS – but I don’t think it’s a YAY GUNS YAY VIOLENCE affair. It’s a wannabe sci-fi movie. It’s a video made to illustrate a song about a feud, set in a futuristic world. I didn’t hear Miley complaining about herself with regard to Mad Max when everyone was all up in Charlize Theron as a female-empowerment hero, and I certainly don’t think anyone’s citing “Bad Blood” as a reason Taylor Swift might be a role model (more that she is articulate and well-dressed and seems to have her head on relatively straight, and I personally like that she’s a musician who actually plays multiple instruments). To me that bite basically exposes that Miley IS defensive about how she’s perceived, even though the rest of the time she pretends she’s totally FINE about people not liking her insistence on nudity, because she’s TESTING US with it, and she doesn’t care, and she’s happy with herself, and it’s OUR PROBLEM, and yada yada yada. Also, “Bad Blood” is just one video; Miley’s boobs are like three years of repetition. It’s just interesting when a person who really doesn’t want you to think she cares what people think, exposes that she totally cares what people think.

[Photos and story: Marie Claire]


Fug and Fab: Miley Cyrus in Moschino

Miley Cyrus is a really curious – if also often frustrating — creature to me. Her sudden disclosures of feeling gender fluid and identifying as androgynous are not without heartfelt spirit and an air of honesty, and I am pretty sure I believe her. But she as a PERSON does pull at my cynical triggers, because she’s such a creature of the media that I keep wondering with ANYTHING she says if she’s simply reacting to what’s buzzy.  And/or trying to muscle her way to the front of the caravan, all in the name of being the loudest voice in any given room. (And I must clarify: I take gender fluidity and feelings of androgyny themselves totally seriously; it is MILEY I am not sure if I should take seriously. Not because of this, but in general. She makes it hard to tell.) But then she’ll say stuff that’s smart, or savvy, or self-aware — or all three. Such as, to Time:

Now 22, Cyrus isn’t worried about offending anyone. “Someone said the other day to me, ‘Should you ask your advisor?’” she says. “I’m like, ‘If I have an advisor, they should have been fired two years ago.’” 

And then this, which made me laugh and also like her:

“All the women in the restaurant [on Valentine's Day two years ago] were with these older, fat men that had just let themselves go. They were just being drunk bastards. And then the women were sitting there, trying so hard just to look good. And they’re ignoring them the whole time. And I thought, ‘I’m not living like this. If I end up in a straight relationship, that’s fine—but I’m not going to be with f-cking slob guys who are watching porn, making all their girls feel ugly.”

The last quote here, I initially read with the Beyonce bit pulled entirely out of context, so it felt more like shade than it perhaps is intended — but I still think it’s an interesting point, because as much as people get annoyed when Taylor Swift stands there in her front-row seat and dances and sings along, it at least has a camaraderie to it that you wouldn’t see from a lot of people.

She recently went to the finals of RuPaul’s Drag Race, but says she’s not particularly interested in attending award shows. [...] She responds better to the unbridled, flamboyant support that RuPaul’s contestants gave one another as they performed. “Beyonce would never be down in the front row cheering on Katy Perry,” she says.

And thus, my complicated relationship with Miley. Like the bratty attention-vortex little sister who makes you roll your eyes and even scream, but she’s not a bad egg and in fact makes you proud sometimes.

[Photos: Getty]