Fugger: Miley Cyrus

Fabs, Fugs, and WTFs: The World Music Awards Show

I do not know that they put in the champagne in Monte Carlo before this event started, but this show looks like it was all over the place.

[Photos: Getty]


Fug the Cover: Miley Cyrus on Elle, May 2014

Elle UK put her on the cover nearly a year ago, and I liked it better, mostly for what I will call Facial Awareness reasons. I’ve included those at the end so that you can compare, because I am a giver, and it IS Thursday, so we can call it a throwback.

[Photos: Elle]


Fug the “Cover”: Miley Cyrus on Seventeen

There has to be a secret story about this cover. Right?

Because that’s not a cover — it’s a “cover,” by which I mean, that’s just a photograph of Miley from a red-carpet event in February. Specifically, this one. And while her face and hair DO look perfectly nice here, it seems INCREDIBLY strange for Seventeen – supposedly one of the premier teen mags, and without even that much competition to worry about — to be slapping a Getty Images photo on its cover. Was it, in keeping with the “Freebie” theme, a money-savings? Is Seventeen too broke for a photo shoot? Is it lazy because it has no competition outside of Teen Vogue? Do we think Miley was scheduled to do one and then had to bail, for some mysterious reason? (This is the one I’m hoping for, because I like gossip.) Or is this happening all the time with Seventeen and I just didn’t notice because I am *cough, cough* a tiny wee bit out of its demographic? I mean, I could’ve dummied up this cover in ten minutes with Photoshop. This can’t bode well. Come on, Seventeen, pull it together. If the world can’t have Sassy or YM anymore, it needs you.


Fug or Fab the Cover, Etc.: Miley Cyrus on W Magazine

The first time I saw this, I genuinely thought, “What is Clare Bowen doing on W?”

Beware: The third photo contains lots of cleav and traces of nip. If you at work, make sure your boss is on board.

What do you think?

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Fug the Special: Miley “Unplugged” on MTV

In which Miley sings, “We can’t stop,” and I think to myself, “Are you sure? Not even for a couple weeks?”

[Photos: Getty]


Grammy Pre-Party Fug or Fine: Miley Cyrus

The context of this outfit: a Grammy pre-party in Los Angeles during what was probably a 66-degree evening after a warm day.

If she’d been in New York, or Chicago, or anywhere else that’s been tongue-bathed by the polar vortex, I would be worrying about frost in unsightly places. Or even sightly ones. Being in Los Angeles makes this only as seasonally inappropriate as our climate already is. But: That’s a camisole with big dreams, right? A shirt with aspirations? An unfolded napkin looking for someone to take a chance on an unknown cloth? It reminds me of that scene in Clueless where Cher’s father is starteld by her micromini, and she shrugs that it’s a dress, and he snaps, “Says who?” and she pouts, “Calvin Klein!” Because this is, indeed, Calvin Klein.

The shearling coat looks comfy, though. Part of me thinks it’s a goofy, cotton-candy delight, and she’s young and at least 65 percent dressed, so I should just sit down and relax. But this also might not look out of place on a Lady of the Night trolling for johns on top of people’s Walk of Fame stars. That may not make it BAD — perhaps that streetwalker in question has really good taste and is a rom-com waiting to happen — but it might also mean she could do better.

Let’s examine her head, though:

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