Fugger: Lindsay Lohan

Better Played, Lindsay Lohan


We’re getting there.

I’m not sure I’m really CHEERING for her as much as I used to — it’s been too long since Mean Girls for me to sustain that level of investment in her as an actor, and I don’t know where she’s going to get the chance for another clear-eyed, funny performance like that one — but as a member of the human race, and someone who unsecretly also loves her in Freaky Friday, I’m happy that she looks clean and titian-haired and healthy and that her mini-dress is cute and flattering, and that she has not fallen over and broken an ankle in her platform-stiletto-bootie-socks. I mean, this has got to be the nicest and least-blurry she’s looked in a while, right? It’s good. Maybe I AM cheering for her, or at least rooting gently in place of the football teams I love that are no longer doing anything. She should get back to me after hockey season ends, when I am also more emotionally available.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugly: Fully Fugged


I laughed out loud when I saw the headline on this photo — which dates from last week, but I am tireless in my need to bring you shots of starlets making bad wardrobe choices:

“Exclusive!” it read. “Lindsay Lohan shops without pants!” And I thought, “yeah, yeah. Alert me when she goes out in pants. Then you’ll have a news story. One I, for one, cannot wait to read.”

[Photo: INF]

 

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Fugly, Fully Loaded


Okay, this isn’t that terrible, except for one point:

SHE’S SERIOUSLY BEEN WEARING LEGGINGS FOR LIKE SIX STRAIGHT YEARS NOW. Look at her archives, look at her choices!

Lindsay. Somewhere deep down in the bottom of my dark, grinchy heart, I still want you to succeed. And so here is some advice — free! From me to you. You’re filming a reality show for OWN. Have someone (not your mom) call Oprah and ask for a pants allowance, okay? How can you break free of the drama of the past half-decade (the car-jacking! The DUIs! The fleeing the country! The pretending you lost your passport! The…everything else!) if you CAN’T BREAK FREE OF THE LEGGINGS.

Happy holidays, dollface.

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Fugs and Fabs of (Another) Jingle Ball


THE RETURN OF LOHAN. (Plus Katie Holmes, Anna Kendrick, and Miley. It’s a weird melange this morning. Brace yourselves.)

[Photos: Getty]

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Could Be Worse, Lindsay Lohan


I actually don’t think this is THAT terrible. Will I ever stop secretly rooting for Lilo to Get A Grip?

[Photos: Getty]

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Freaky Fug Friday: Lindsay Lohan Edition


The return of Freaky Fug Friday! And who better to usher in a new season of contests and creativity than the erstwhile star of Freaky Friday herself, Ms Lindsay Lohan (whose get-up at the Scary Movie premiere is heading your way later today):

She wore this ON AN AIRPLANE. And by “this” I mean, “I don’t actually know WHAT this is.” Is it….boots over jeans and then spats over the boots….? Is that sentence even in English? I do not know what is happening here. Please send help.

THE TASK:  Help. Please explain what Lilo is actually wearing here. But do it in a haiku.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on MONDAY.

THE PRIZE:  This week, we’re giving away five (5!) copies of the new memoir Rapture Practice, by Aaron Hartzler. Per Amazon:Aaron Hartzler grew up in a home where he was taught that at any moment Jesus might come down in the twinkling of an eye, and scoop his whole family up to Heaven. As a kid, Aaron was thrilled by the idea that each day might be his last one on planet Earth…But as he turns sixteen, Aaron finds himself more and more attached to his life on Earth, and curious about all the things his family forsakes for the Lord. He begins to realize he doesn’t want the Rapture to happen, just yet; not before he sees his first movie, stars in the school play, or has his first kiss. Before long, Aaron makes the plunge from conflicted do-gooder to full-fledged teen rebel…In this funny and heartfelt coming of age memoir, debut author Aaron Hartzler recalls his teenage journey to find the person he is without losing the family who loves him. It’s a story about losing your faith, finding your place, and learning your very own truth–which is always stranger than fiction.” I’ve read the book, and I can attest to the fact that it’s excellent — funny, engrossing, moving. A great read. Whoever wins it is in for a treat. (PS: Los Angelenos, Aaron is also going to be speaking at the Santa Monica Public Library tomorrow (Saturday) at 3pm. He’s also moderating the panel on which Heather and I are appearing at the LA Times Festival of Books on the 21st. Synchronicity!)

(This contest is open to US residents only.)

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