I am unmoved.
I was going to go on about the bottom, and how it reminds me of the heartbreak of pulling a cassette tape out of your stereo and realizing it’s caught and rapidly unspooling, and NOOOO, it’s the only copy I have of that Richard Marx song I taped off the radio WHY GOD WHY, oh wait if I just spend five minutes winding this sucker it might work again.
But then I realized the rest of it doesn’t inspire me that much either. I think the bodice is designed to droop a little, and it’s having the same effect on my mood. You know what would’ve helped? My old “I’m Too Sexy” cassingle, which had the song in Spanish on the B-side. Just TRY being in a funk when Right Said Fred gives you the sweet talk in a second language.