Fugger: Elizabeth Olsen

Fug and Fab The Covers: Marie Claire May 2014 “Fresh Faces” Issue


So, Marie Claire put Lupita Nyong’o, Elizabeth Olsen, Elle Fanning, Kate Mara, and Emilia Clarke on the cover this month; most of them get the royal treatment, but the last of those ladies should probably sue because her cover is AWFUL.

[Photos: Marie Claire]

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Fug or Fab: Elizabeth Olsen


I’m truly torn on this.

Her left wrist needs adorning, and it might be more flattering in a longer length, but I LOVE that she wore gold shoes with it — and not for nothing, that top makes me think of Ichabod Crane’s coat. Anything that crosses Sleepy Hollow with a red carpet is something I have to at least consider loving. They should send him to Fashion Week next season; he might be comfortable because he’d be the least strangely attired person there.

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[Photo: WENN]

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Fuglizabeth Olsen


Another Friday, another lovely actress wearing a another lovely holiday wine bag — this of the Sophisticated Black and Gold New Year’s Eve Wine Bag genre, at least, not the too-obvious red and green Christmas Is Coming The Geese Are Getting Fat Please Put a Penny Etc variety:

Thank you, darling, but I try not to imbibe before 11am on weekdays.

[Photo: Getty]

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Elizafug Olsen


I had the hardest time parsing this outfit. Apparently it’s a sweater over a very long shirt, over skinny pants.

And in person that was probably obvious, but in photos — at least on my monitor — it all runs together, to the point where when I saw the thumbnail I feared they were hideously ballooned harem pants. So we dodged that bullet, at least. My issues here, then, are twofold:

1) If you don’t WANT people to be afraid you’re wearing a) hideously ballooned harem pants, or b) a semi-dowdy dress over said pants, then this is a bad choice for an event that includes photographers because the resulting shot may make it hard for people to tell what the heck is going on;

2) Knowing what the parts ARE, I still don’t love it. In fact, I’d like to remove the long black mullet-cut shirt and see if the sweater and pants look reasonable together on their own. The witchy flow of the shirt is SO Olsen Twins to me, which I suppose makes sense considering they share so very much of the same genetic material. But it’s just so heavy — it takes any spirit and lift from the cutesy pink flowers and drags it underwater and drowns it and then tries to frame someone else for the murder.

[Photo: WENN]

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Efuglabeth Olsen


Elizabeth Olsen is so lovely. But as for her outfit, well, my reaction to this dress is in the vein of that old grandmotherly “but you’re such a pretty girl, I wish you’d just brush your hair and wash that stuff off your face” trope.

As in, “You’re such a funky pattern; I wish you’d just take off that bib and get a trim and find some accessories, like maybe a belt.” And then the dress would shout at me, “You just don’t GET IT,” and flounce off to its room and slam the door and crank up the latest Bieber tune, and I’d be like, “In MY day, we had REAL music,” and then go clean my dentures.

[Photo: Getty]

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CFDA Fug Carpet: Two Olsens


Tonight, the part of Ashley Olsen will be played by Elizabeth Olsen:

Somber expression? Check. Standing pelvis to pelvis with Mary-Kate? Check. Clad in something shapeless and matronly, while her sister stands at such an angle that it’s impossible to see anything about the vintage outfit she probably painstakingly acquired? Check. It must be so NICE to have a stand-in from time to time. If Emma Stone ever wants to play the part of me, I’d be happy to sit down for a while.

[Photo: Getty]

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