Good lord, a lot of people wore Prada to this thing. Which is crazy because, as we’ve noted, I sincerely think Miuccia doesn’t read the Met Ball invitations and instead just boxes up a bunch of random stuff and shoots it out of an international t-shirt cannon and whoever catches it wears whatever is inside. Anyway, two lovely ladies got outfits based on bra tops, so let’s declare a winner, shall we?
First up: Stacy Martin, best known for the five-and-a-half-hour Lars von Trier movie Nymphomaniac, in which she has a lot of sex with Shia LaBeouf and others.
I like the bones of this. Obviously the sheer top with the bra underneath is silly to me, but at least in this iteration, the triangular bra cups and the triangle where the two sides of the top intersect are geometrically simpatico. But I think you’d still have something delicate and pretty if it were lined, and the color is bright and beautiful. The skirt is also gorgeous. And although the lavender shoes look a little plastic from here, they’re at least not neutral, which would have been the easy choice. Full marks for creativity there.
And then here is The Wolf of Wall Street‘s Margot Robbie:
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Cannes Who Fugged It More: Karlie Kloss vs. Mamie Gummer in Valentino
We saw this, and trembled at its evils, on Mamie Gummer at the Oscars. I’m actually sort of surprised that a top model like Karlie Kloss would ever wear something at an event this high-profile had been done already at another high-profile event. Maybe that’s more common than I think, but if I were her, this would feel like a fair time to throw a diva strop.
Mamie lined her skirt with black where Karlie’s is see-through, which definitely gave it a heaviness that contradicts the original design’s ethereal intentions. She also had the turquiose part of the bodice expanded, versus Karlie’s more perfunctory modesty panel. Beyond that, Karlie is leaning on bodice netting in a really sickly hue, and then basically a strip of lace over her nethers that looks like an eggplant loincloth. Frankly, I think it’s totally hideous on both of them. But between all that taupe boob pancake up there and the overwrought makeup, I think the supermodel might, strangely, look a little bit worse, which I hope will be worth a glass of celebratory moonshine for Mamie this morning.
[Photo: Getty]
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