Fug File: Man Fugs

Man Fug or Fab: Guess Who Edition


All righty, it’s time to play a little game I like to call, “Hey, Who Is That Dude In The Sunglasses?” It’s not a very catchy name. I have to workshop it.

Now, maybe this won’t be as hard for some of you as it was for me, but for whatever reason, even in the close-up, I didn’t get it. I will eliminate one contender by noting that I thought it was Ewan McGregor. Study up and then click through to see if you’re right, and then we can talk about his shoes.

who are you? who who who who?

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WTF: Steven Tyler


There is something hilariously right about the fact that he’s wearing this to a Stella McCartney party:

Steven-Tyler-Stella-McCartney

I feel like this is what Stella would come up with if someone asked her to costume a hip, new reboot of The Last Supper.

[Photo: Splash]

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Well Played, Jubilant, Oft-Toothless Men In Beards: The Los Angeles Kings Win The Stanley Cup


The juxtaposition of the Stanley Cup and the World Cup has been hilarious: In soccer, dudes drop to the ground writhing in agony and wailing if anyone so much as breathes on them. In hockey, they get hit in the face with sticks and pucks and bleed out all over the ice and just slap on a Band-Aid and get right back out there for their next shift. Even the hockey refs do that. They must watch soccer and be like, “Are you KIDDING? WE NEVER HAD IT SO EASY.”

All the playoffs were amazing — full of breathless hockey at its very fastest and best — but the Kings-Blackhawks series and then this Kings-Rangers series gave us twelve brilliant games, and I’m almost sad it’s over. ALMOST. Because we won. Behold inside: the beards, the bromances, the gums, Darryl Sutter’s facial expressions, the explication of my Magical Haterade and why I should get the Cup for a day, and a baby sitting in Lord Stanley’s trophy.

[Photos: Getty, me]

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Guys’ Choice Awards Pointedly Not Nakedly Played: Rihanna


KEVIN HART: RIHANNA! What are you DOING? YOU are KILLING ME.

RIHANNA: Ha ha, your clothes look like someone drove past you through a mud puddle.

KEVIN: That’s not what I MEAN, Rihanna. What do guys choose, Rihanna?

RIHANNA: Uh. Me?

KEVIN: YES. And NIPPLES. YOU AND NIPPLES. WHY DID YOU WEAR THE NAKED DRESS TO THAT OTHER THING?

RIHANNA; Well, I thought it might be creepy to wear that here, so I’m keeping it casual, yeah?  It was a fashion statement. Don’t wanna upstage the antlers.

KEVIN: It was a BUTTOCK STATEMENT. And we wanted to HEAR IT. We would have been HERE FOR YOU. We would have TAKEN DICTATION.

RIHANNA: All right, I get it, but I have a whole naked strategy and it does not involve you or tonight. Naked Dress’s time has come and gone, man.

KEVIN: Time is a flat circle, Rihanna. Time is a FLAT. CIRCLE.

RIHANNA: What does that even mean?

KEVIN: I don’t know! McConaughey said it on True Detective so it’s probably total bullshit! Maybe it means I will get a chance to come back around and TRUTHFULLY DETECT your NAKED DRESS!

RIHANNA: I’m kinda over my nipples now. NEXT.

KEVIN: Lordy. Rethink your timing next year.

RIHANNA: No thanks. I’m good. Rethink your shirt.

[Photo: Getty]

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Casual Fuggerday: Drake


Drake, dude, I know you and Rihanna are ALLEGEDLY on the outs, but really?

Drake Pajama Top

Wearing a pajama top to dinner helps NO ONE. Stay HOME in those blue satin jammies and watch Bridget Jones and eat ice cream. You’ll feel better. Promise.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Well Played, Angelina Jolie in Versace (But What Is Going On With Brad?!)


Well, if Elle Fanning is in full Princess Aurora costume, so has Angelina worn her best Maleficent, including jewelry that can double as weaponry.* (She DID leave the horned cape at home, which is a shame.) She and Brad also appear to be having the BEST TIME, even if he is turning into the lounge lizard at your chain-smoking aunt’s local, who she swears used to be really, really handsome.

*Which she might have needed, because GUESS WHO randomly punched Brad on the red carpet? That Random Jerkweed who stuck his head up America Ferrera’s dress. SERIOUSLY, how on earth is he getting this close to the red carpet without being escorted from the premises? ESCORT THE JERKWEED OUT.

[Photos: Getty]

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