First, Ethan Hawke and the Tie of Fire sounds like the first in a series of fashion mysteries for ladies who remember Dead Poets Society and Reality Bites and will always hold him dear, even if Troy really did need to get a damn job and stop brooding and making up stuff about the establishment owing him a Snickers. I look forward to Ethan Hawke and the Blistering Brogues, Ethan Hawke and the Cape of Good Nope, and Ethan Hawke’s Poncho Pandemonium, available soon on all e-readers.

Second, the headline refers both to the fact that the tie is dramatic, and that it does indeed appear to be dipped in artistic flames. I miss a crazy tie. My grandfather had several truly terrible ones and they brought me joy every single time. So maybe now we’ll enter into an era of simpler suits and hella bizarre neckwear. I’m here for it.

The New York Premiere of Juliet, Naked

Oh, and I’m also on board with his cheekbones, the fact that he is getting foxier as he gets older — Troy Dyer was not my jam, but this is a VERY good look for him — and dorky dad finger guns. Ethan Hawke, I am sold. Now get to writing your mystery series. Tick tock.