Fug File: Fug The Cover

Fug The Covers: Amy Adams, Jennifer Lawrence, Lupita Nyong’o, Oprah, Matthew McConaughey, and Cate Blanchett on W Magazine’s Movie Issue

Jan 8, 2014 By Heather AT 8:00 am
W Magazine: Amy Adams, February 2014
W Magazine Movie Issue 2014: Jennifer LawrenceW Magazine Movie Issue 2014: Cate BlanchettW Magazine Movie Issue 2014: Lupita Nyong'oW Magazine Movie Issue 2014: Oprah Winfrey
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The covers feature six very attractive people looking like six varying degrees of imperiled, sexy, normal, wet, creepy, and crazy. There are inside photos of a bunch of other people, too, but let’s just focus on the front of the book, since that’s what is supposed to make me want to peek inside. Which I would, if I liked horror movies.

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Fab, then Fug, the Covers: Claire Danes and Lady Gaga on Glamour

Jan 3, 2014 By Heather AT 10:00 am

Let’s start with the January 2014 effort:

This is the third January cover that has seemed very summery to me, so there must be some market research out there that suggests by this time people are hella sick of coats and winter and sweaters, and just want to imagine they’re in a gazebo on a warm summer day, waiting for a hot man to bring them some pink lemonade (heavily spiked). And while I freely admit the weird twine criss-crossing her is super bizarre and bondage-adjacent, she HERSELF looks absolutely gorgeous and I love the idea of the cover. We see Claire so stressed out on Homeland that it’s brilliant to keep to so cheerfully simple and have her radiate happiness. She also looks almost sultry, which is another thing I don’t generally associate with her. So Glamour has managed to give us a fresh look at Claire Danes, without making her look nothing like Claire Danes. Well played. Wherever she is, I want to go to there, although I’d replace the drunken lemonade with something involving ginger. I’m super into alcoholized ginger right now.

I don’t think Glamour fared as well with Lady Gaga:

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Well Played Cover: Posh and Becks on Paris Vogue

Jan 2, 2014 By Jessica AT 1:00 pm
Paris Vogue 2014
Paris Vogue 2014Spice Girls Vogue January 1998
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I don’t know if I totally understand — or ever even knew — how Paris Vogue and French Vogue are different. That being said, they let Posh here guest-edit the December/Jan issue and bless her for putting herself on the cover. I feel like there was a conversation that included the line: “Screw you, Anna Wintour, I’m doing this.” And, honestly, it turned out kind of great. Self-indulgent, but great.

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Fug the Cover: Ariana Grande on Teen Vogue

Jan 2, 2014 By Jessica AT 11:00 am

I sincerely cannot with this:

I generally really enjoy Teen Vogue, but this cover is simply not good. For one thing, I don’t know what they’re trying to do with her hair — she has a lot of hair, and while I am a fan of a lot of hair, it always looks totally out of control and not in the Sexy Bedhead Way. In the Jesus, I Can’t Deal With My Hair While I’m In The Middle of Cleaning Out the Garage Way. Considering that she also appears to be wearing some random tank top and leaning on a fence that needs painting, this whole thing sort of just screams 263 WAYS TO LOOK…WELL, BASICALLY JUST OKAY WHILE DOING YOUR CHORES.

[Photo: Teen Vogue]

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Annual Fug Nation Predict-The-Cover: Vogue

Dec 23, 2013 By Jessica AT 9:00 am
Rooney Mara, February
Beyonce, MarchMichelle Obama, AprilCarey Mulligan, MayKate Upton, June
12 photos in gallery

It’s time for our annual post predicting the cover subjects for the upcoming year of Vogue! Let’s take a look back and discuss how Vogue did in 2013 — make sure check to see how you did in last year’s Prediction Post. I got 6 of 12, which means if I were a baseball player, I’d be a huge star! — then see if you can predict the dozen who are going to make it past Anna for February 2014-January 2015.

My predictions, with the caveat that I think a lot of these are actually kind of crazy on my part: Keira Knightley; SWINTON (a girl can dream, as I really don’t think this will actually happen);  Angelina Jolie (ostensibly for Maleficent); Zoe Saladana, whose Nina Simone biopic is SUPPOSED to come out in 2014; Shailene Woodley, in a huge coup wiggling off Teen Vogue; Nicki Minaj;  Emma Stone; Kerry Washington; a Trio of Winter Olympians Probably Including Lindsay Vonn Which Will Be Awkward If Her Knee Doesn’t Heal; Cameron Diaz, ideally in full Miss Hannigan costume; Nicole Kidman; and January Jones (standing in for everyone else as Mad Men finally comes back). I am pretty sure I’m going to bat less than .500 this year. Your turn!

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Well Played Cover: Intern George on W

Dec 20, 2013 By Heather AT 1:00 pm

Well, this explains why he never showed up for our GFY HQ holiday card photo shoot, which we therefore had to cancel:

He couldn’t very well be seen as Santa Cloons in the same month that he graces this W cover — it would be a complete conflict of interest, right? You’re excused, George. And this is nice. I mean, basically, it’s just Intern George being Intern George, standing there wearing his standard-issue and still-excellent Intern George face while all the drama happens around him. What’s effective about it is how beautifully the simple sight of that familiar, delightful mug grounds all that drama. This is a pleasure. You’d think he’d at LEAST have sent us a complimentary copy with a doctor’s note explaining his more recent absences (much less the rest of his seven years’ worth). You’re SLIPPING, George. It’s a good thing we’re sentimental suckers.

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