Get ready, because these are WEIRD. Sometimes arresting, but more often, frankly, absurd to the point of distracting and ridiculous. The photographer, Tim Walker, cites as his influences David Hockney and Fellini; I am no art nor film expert, so I leave those comparisons to the Fug Nationals who are. Instead, I’ll be the Philistine who discusses The Crazy and the performances these photos ostensibly celebrate.
Fug File: Fug The Cover
I don’t know about you, but I spent a lot of this past holiday break catching up on my backlog of magazines. Why not continue the trend and zip through some of the international Vogues of the last month or so? For those of you bemoaning the fact that American Vogue so rarely uses models anymore, in our annual Vogue-Predict-a-Cover, here’s a spoiler for this post: SO MANY MODELS.
Did anyone have Sienna Miller in the Vogue predictor post? My GUESS is not, because I’m not sure anyone saw her big push at the end of this year coming. (Having said that, although I’ve heard she’s great in American Sniper, her role in Foxcatcher is blink-and-you’ll-miss-it — in the final cut of the film I think she had three lines, as if all her scenes were casualties of the extra year they took to edit that film, which is not something I blame HER for; it’s just The Way It Goes Sometimes. That whole movie is… curious.) At least she’s a fresh choice, although I would’ve loved to see Emily Blunt. Wearing Prada. Naturally.
“Oh my god, y’all, I don’t know if you follow me on Instagram, but if you did than you saw this thing that happened to me:
My bod looks amazing in this old neoprene bikini from Body Glove that I found rattling around the back of the closet and decided to wear because the late 80s are super back and I look like maybe I was once in a Whitesnake video in it, but y’all: Since when does my face look like that? CAN YOU WAKE UP WITH A DIFFERENT FACE? Because the answer according to Women’s Health seems to be YES.
PS: Don’t ask me about Jessica Biel.
First of all, “Hop Onboard the Naughty Express” makes me laugh. You KNOW that’s courtesy of the same person who talked Joanna Coles into seeing the humor in putting “#BearSkinRun” on the cover a couple of months ago. Hashtag Bearskin Run, I salute you. Second, is that dress Stella, and if so, does that mean that Cameron Diaz made a deal with the devil (Stella McCartney) that has a line-item dictating that Cameron has to wear Stella 75% of the time and on as many covers as possible? Third: I actually really like this cover, and it’s a good reminder that Cammy actually used to be a professional model, because she’s selling everything. Leaning all the way over like that is basically her physically correcting the wonky neckline of that dress, making it look almost totally normal until you really start to examine it, and I feel like her face is the perfect mixture of lively and friendly and fun that is bang on Cosmo’s sweet spot. No pun intended. She feels present to me in a way that is sort of unusual on the modern magazine cover. It’s also possible that I have missed Cameron Diaz and might want her to make a comeback. (I fear Annie will not accomplish this. Basically, I want her to rewind to Being John Malkovich and do everything over from there. I have notes. But they might just be about her career.)
[Photo: Cosmopolitan/Matthias Vriens-McGrath]
Fug or Fab the Cover (and More): December 2014 Vogue, Featuring Amy Adams, Benedict Cumberbatch, and More
This issue was chock-a-block with stuff, including the world’s current favorite bowl of alphabet soup, Bananabread Cinnabon. One could argue Vogue should have put him on the cover, for newsstand swooning alone. Instead, we got Amy Adams — which more than twenty of you guessed would happen, though mostly in February for American Hustle, rather than in December, for Whatever She’s In Right Now Which Will Probably At Least Net Her A Globe Nod – and while I like her, this cover and I are not the best of friends. Although I will take it a hundred times over the creepy-ass thing they did to her inside the book. Come and see. Be brave.