Fug File: Fug The Cover

Fug the Cover: Miley Cyrus on Elle, May 2014


Elle UK put her on the cover nearly a year ago, and I liked it better, mostly for what I will call Facial Awareness reasons. I’ve included those at the end so that you can compare, because I am a giver, and it IS Thursday, so we can call it a throwback.

[Photos: Elle]

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Fug or Fab the Cover: Emma Stone in Vogue, May 2014


After the drama of Kimye, a breath of fresh, welcome air in the form of Emma Stone. Vogue, in fact, has a short film — very short, like 2 minutes — of her “preparing” for her newest role up on their website and it is just…she is the most charming person. She might be irresistible. Which is why I wish this cover, at least, was a little livelier? Her face looks fabulous — her brows are amazing — but I worry that the hat (and the weirdly crispy hair) is literally putting a lid on her essential lightness. On the other hand, her actual face looks fabulous. Just stick your hand over the hat and see. Right? Right.

Let’s take a real looksee, including at two shots from the inside shoot, and then come back and tell me what you think.

[Photos: Vogue]

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Fug the “Cover”: Miley Cyrus on Seventeen


There has to be a secret story about this cover. Right?

Because that’s not a cover — it’s a “cover,” by which I mean, that’s just a photograph of Miley from a red-carpet event in February. Specifically, this one. And while her face and hair DO look perfectly nice here, it seems INCREDIBLY strange for Seventeen – supposedly one of the premier teen mags, and without even that much competition to worry about — to be slapping a Getty Images photo on its cover. Was it, in keeping with the “Freebie” theme, a money-savings? Is Seventeen too broke for a photo shoot? Is it lazy because it has no competition outside of Teen Vogue? Do we think Miley was scheduled to do one and then had to bail, for some mysterious reason? (This is the one I’m hoping for, because I like gossip.) Or is this happening all the time with Seventeen and I just didn’t notice because I am *cough, cough* a tiny wee bit out of its demographic? I mean, I could’ve dummied up this cover in ten minutes with Photoshop. This can’t bode well. Come on, Seventeen, pull it together. If the world can’t have Sassy or YM anymore, it needs you.

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Fugs and Fabs: Various Recent International Elle Covers


Because often these are more interesting than the U.S. ones.

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Fug and Fab The Covers: Marie Claire May 2014 “Fresh Faces” Issue


So, Marie Claire put Lupita Nyong’o, Elizabeth Olsen, Elle Fanning, Kate Mara, and Emilia Clarke on the cover this month; most of them get the royal treatment, but the last of those ladies should probably sue because her cover is AWFUL.

[Photos: Marie Claire]

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Fab and Fug: Mindy Kaling and Kate Upton Inside Vogue, April 2014


I made the argument that I thought Mindy Kaling would be a more in-touch cover choice for Vogue than Kim and Kanye, and the photo of her inside the issue affirms that for me. Kate Upton… not so much.

[Photos: Vogue]

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