Fug File: Fug The Cover

Fugs and Fabs the Cover: Recent UK Magazines

Shall we eyeball some recent covers out of the UK? Where, for what it’s worth, I LOVE THE MAGAZINES. Half of them give you gifts! Half of them are wee, purse-sized little books of delight! Some of them are REALLY TRASHY (heat)! And then there is my favorite of all the glossy monthlies, Tatler, for which I pay an absurd fee to have delivered to my home and which I HAVE NEVER REGRETTED. They once had a whole sidebar about ridiculous British names that caused me and Heather to worry that The Royal We didn’t have a sufficiently crazily-named character and one of our major players is named after a font. It recently had an article about aristocratic menageries of yore which included a photo of a lemur (!) named Mah-Jongg (!!) on a deck-chair (!!!) OF SOMEONE’S YACHT! IT’S THE BEST.

Join me, won’t you?


Fug or Fab the Cover: Shailene Woodley on Elle, April 2015

Well, it’s striking enough.

Shailene Woodley, Elle April 2015

On the nitpicking note, I like it better when Elle just leaves its masthead spaced normally and doesn’t care how the cover model splashes over it. Scrunching the two Ls on either side of her head is distracting, especially the way they made it look like her arm is looped around the one on the right. I also think it looks like a mistake, rather than a Young or Wild or Free decision, to have the yellow words cut off on the sides.

As for the photo… look, you knew I wasn’t going to love the bathing suit. Why is there a patent-leather belt on it? Why are there bathing suits that are allergic to being worn in actual watery conditions? What’s more: If the top only even REMOTELY looks like it’s in the right place because her arms are over her head, imagine how it must fall down when she lowers them. The expression on her face says, “I know. This would not have been my choice either.” She clearly gave it what she could, but honestly, the inside photo is way more striking to me:

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Well Played, Serena Williams on Vogue, April 2015

I have a lot of thoughts. First of all, her hair looks awesome. Vogue‘s logo might as well not even be there. Who cares about the name of this magazine in the face of Serena’s awesome hair?


Second, I think she just looks great. Really striking and strong and glamorous. Most of all, I’m glad they resisted the impulse to do something gimmicky or silly and just went simple with her — it’s a lovely picture, but it also feels natural, which makes the whole thing seem more modern to me. I also love the article about her relationship with Caroline Wozniacki, because they’re my favorite Athlete Friendship out there, and they’re obviously crazy about each other. (I appreciate how Serena threatened to fly to Monaco and knock Caroline’s door down to help her through her break-up. Serena Williams might be the world’s best Get a Grip Friend.) I don’t think ANY of us predicted this one, but I for once am happy to be proven wrong.

[Photo: Vogue]


Your Afternoon Man: Jon Hamm on GQ, April 2015

Did I squeak with undignified joy when I saw this cover?

GQ April Cover

Yes. Yes, I did. Will I perhaps purchase it solely to place it on my coffee table, so that I have some Dapper Handsomeness in my living room at all times? Yes, yes, I will. (Not to be confused with Draper Handsomeness. They’re very visually similar, but one of them is much, much more self-destructive.) Did Heather forward me the email containing this cover the instant it hit our in-box with a note saying, “I feel like this was destined for you — NAY, shot for you?” Yes, yes, she did.

But I would argue that this is for all of us.

[Photo: GQ]


Fugs and Fabs The Cover: A Variety of International Vogues

VOGUES! So many Vogues.

[Photos: Vogue]


Fug or Fab the Cover: Kerry Washington on Marie Claire, April 2015

What I like about this cover: The fact that her face really pops, and actually looks like her FACE — with her skin color and her features and everything, unlike that horrifying crime InStyle perpetrated.

Marie Claire April 2015: Kerry Washington

What I’m not sure about: whether I actually like this on its own merits. The hair might get in the way for me a little — if it were slicked back, so that we were JUST communing with her bone structure and that look in her eyes, it might’ve been nifty. There’s also something generally dull about it. I’ve seen it before. I know this is Marie Claire, so they were never going to go full nutballs on her, but I would love to see SOMEONE let her cut LOOSE with her. Like, say, sign her up for and let a real wackadoo photographer who calls him or herself an artiste put her in some funky poses and clothes and makeup. Or, better, have her on the cover looking like this:

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